Why is my first thought each morning, how much I hate myself?

Don't think of it as hate, rather as disappointment. All of us have our own expectations and goals set out for us, but when you sway away or do not meet them, we can be quite hard on ourselves. This goes back to how we were treated whenever we made mistakes or did not meet certain criteria. Ask yourself, how hard did you take those experiences emotionally? Were there any repletion of those feelings by yourself or anyone else? It's important to remember that we can't blame ourselves for how we were treated. The only thing you can control is how you treat yourself, and embrace the freedom and capability you have to love yourself.