Why is death the first topic on my mind when I wake up?

Probably because you have been depressed for a long time you don't see any hope in life. Go to therapy and work on how to manage it

thinking about death can often be a sign of depression. However contemplating ones mortality can also be a natural experience that most people go through at one time or another in their lives. Finding things to be excited or passionate about can often help to focus your mind on living and away from death

To be honest....I do the same thing but I find its the little things in life that make it worth living.

The first topic is death when you wake up is because an event that happened made you re-occur about it or a frightening dream that made you concern what day will bring you today.

maybe it is on your mind because it is what you think about the most and also what worries you the most. You should ask yourself am i afraid of death? What makes me think about death so much? Do i like thinking about death? answering some of these questions will allow for clarifications and these clarifications can help answer your question of why is death always on my mind. It could also be that you are grateful to be alive, hence why its always on your mind as soon as you wake up. Maybe you are just thankful for living another day