Why does depression have to bring me down to the point where I don't want to exist?

Because depression is powerful, it is overwhelming and heavy but you are strong, you can fight back and you will have support. Depression isn't forever.

It can bring you down to where you feel existing is pointless because you lost interest in so many things to where you don't have an idea to continue anymore.

Depression can hit you all of a sudden. Maybe its one tragic thing that's happened, maybe its a lot of things that feel overwhelming when you add them together... or maybe you have no idea why you feel that way. We so often push away the things that make us feel bad, or that we don't want to deal with, then they come back and bite us in the butt (so to speak!). By finding some headspace, taking a deep breath and dealing with our problems and/or negative emotions as and when they happen, we can start to deal with them in real time, rather than letting them build up and overwhelm us. When things become overwhelming, it feels useless to try. It feels like 'whats the point', 'something else will pop up to make us feel rotten again'. Maybe you're talking to yourself with negative dialogue. For me it's good practice to embrace emotions - good and bad - and to recognize them, name them out loud even, don't push them away or think 'I'll deal with that later!" Nothing is permanent. Just as you were once happy and now feel sad, this sadness can end too. Just give it time. Try to find things that make you feel good. Even if its a fleeting moment of happiness. Try to be honest with yourself and others around you. Don't be afraid to open up and tell people you're feeling low. Accept the help when it is offered. Have faith that you will feel better, you just need to allow it and give it space to happen.

Because it is the nature of the struggle. It is the most difficult struggle to fight with your own thoughts and keep defeating them. Oftentimes, these thoughts take you to dark places where you can not fathom any hope, you feel trapped and heartbroken that no helps is ever coming. In this constant struggle with yourself, many times it does feel easier to just rest a while. Like a wounded soldier in a battlefield, sometimes pain becomes too much to bear and wishing to not exist seems the only way to have any relief. But in those times, it helps if you are able to hold on to any hope, any little sliver of peace, relief or happiness or just know that others go through such struggles too and you are not alone. That there is help and that your life matters, most importantly to yourself.

Depression is an unfortunate thing. But I can tell you that there are many people that want you to exist. Depression is a tough cycle to get out of, and it is not an easy thing to stop. It is important to focus on the things in your life that are worth living for, like family, friends, hobbies, and things that you enjoy. There are many things that can help you find a reason to exist. If you cannot think of any, we can try thinking of some together, but you should never think that you want to not exist.