Why do I wake up thinking about my ex?

We often think about the people that we miss. It is difficult going from seeing someone you love every day to them suddenly disappearing from your life. It's something that is hard to deal with and takes time to adapt to. There could also be events that occurred in the relationship that would trigger someone to think about their ex. If there was abuse or trauma in the relationship, it would impact the way someone would feel after they depart from the relationship. Breaking up with significant other's is very hard and takes a long time of healing to recover from. Even if it's years ago, it is something that will go away through time.

You were in a relationship with this person who you may have spent a lot of time talking to. It's completely normal and valid to still be in that mindset. Some things to keep in mind are how long ago the breakup happened, how you've been coping since the breakup happened, who your support team is, and what negative thought patterns you may have gotten stuck in mentally after the breakup. Coping with breakups is so difficult and different people have different ways of dealing with them. Take your time working through it. 7cups has a great breakup self-help guide if you'd like to view that as well!

Because you have subconscious pain and sleeping unlocks the subconscious. When we experience intense emotions some of that emotion gets trapped in the subconscious, the part of the mind that aren't aware of at the moment. Our minds can only handle so much suffering until we decide that we are willing to do pretty much anything to make it stop. To lessen the suffering, perhaps so we can continue functioning, our mind is able to delay experiencing some of the pain (suppression and repression are the psychological terms). But eventually we have to pay up. Our mind's can't get rid of the pain until we experience the pain consciously. This often happens through dreams but can happen any time as thoughts and emotions that seem to arise out of nowhere or are triggered by something that reminds us of the pain. I'm guessing that the breakup was extremely painful for you. Perhaps you felt betrayed or abandoned. And its possible that the breakup triggered subconscious pain from other painful experiences. There are a few things that you can do to help expedite the process of releasing the pain, but over time your mind will do this automatically. 1. Talk to people about the relationship with your ex and your feelings about it. Subconscious pain has a way of hiding unless you deliberately seek it out, which is perhaps the main objective of therapy. If a therapist is too expensive then you could chat with someone here on 7cups or someone you know. 2. When the painful emotions arise, try to "surrender" your attention to them. Pay attention to them. You don't need to figure anything out, just experience the painful thoughts and emotions as they are - just watch. The mind's normal habit is to avoid pain through distraction or avoidance, but emotions cant be avoided forever, only delayed. So paying attention to them as they arise can expedite the releasing of the pain. It speeds up the process that emotions must go through to be released from the subconscious. These two things can expedite the process, but either way it WILL get better over time! Every time you experience those painful emotions you will release a little more from the unconscious. Hang in there!

From personal experience I know that I wake up thinking about my ex a lot and I just remind myself everyday that its okay to have thoughts about a person that I once or still do deeply care about and had a connection with at one point. Most of the time those emotions don't go away right away and I just remind myself to give myself grace and time when coping with thoughts of an ex. I think all we can do is give ourselves grace and time to heal even if it takes a few months to do so.

having a partner in life involves strong connections that don't fade easily. Even though they are your ex you may still have slight feelings for them and they wont go away instantly. Try socialising with others and doing things you love to take your mind off of them. My best advice is to try your best to move on. I know it may be hard, especially if you were involved in a physical relationship, but they are your ex for a reason. Try to remember why things didn't work out to remind yourself of why this is the right path to go down. If you start to regret events in the past they tend to stay with you for a long time, which may be the reason why you think about them as your wake up.

It is because you haven't completely let go of them. But, don't get me wrong, it is a completely normal process in any breakups, no matter how long it has been. Give yourself time, but also remind yourself that you made the best choice. Breakups are difficult. I'm still struggling as well. But I know that I have to come to the term that everything is over. That I made the best choice. That I know it would be better this way. Letting go at first might seem like an impossible job to do, but believe me you'll get there.

The things I think about when you first wake up are often a reflection of some of your deeper feelings- like I'll sometimes wake up thinking about something that's stressing me out. Maybe you don't have the closure you need with them? So you're still trying to work through how you feel about them and what your relationship is now. Maybe try thinking of ways you could get closure? Sometimes that just comes from time spent thinking and talking it through. You might need to have a conversation with them about why things ended or how you were hurt by their actions (this doesn't mean you should get back together!!) if it's something that's really bothering and affecting you I would think about seeing a trained professional.

It sounds like there is some unfinished business there. We need to process information before moving on. Just reading the question online, it’s hard to say, but there are some possibilities: Did you trust this person too much, and they deceived you? If so, your brain is trying to figure out a way to protect you from being hurt again. You might be asking, “Why me?” Since relationships are built on trust, it’s incredibly confusing how so many people will lie to get into a relationship. It’s also possible that you did something you’re not proud of in the relationship. Your brain is trying to figure out if you’ll make the same mistake again. You don’t need to tell a group of strangers on the internet. Think about it on your own. You know if this is the one because it keeps coming back over and over again. It’s possible you still love your ex. Only you can answer that.

It takes time to get over people that hurt you while you cared deeply about them. It is natural to think about them for a while after they are gone from your life. What I find helpful is writing out what made me feel the need to break up with them. If they broke up with me, it hurts but I realize that if they are not able to see the good in me there is no point in putting myself through that just to say I'm in a realtionship. It will happen, and that's okay, you've just got to start taking control of your life and not letting things get to you and control you. Hope this helps!

You might wake up thinking about your ex because you still can like him. One other reason you might still think about him is that he might have done something bad to you while you were together. The break up might have been hard for you also that might be a reason. Another reason is that you might worry still about him and care about how he is doing. Waking up thinking about him might be also because you might hate him on the other hand. Then there might be also problems that you might have had in the relationship. Or you feel like you did something wrong and you still want to be with him.