What does depression feel like?

It feels like your head is burning in pain. You feel you wont ever be happy. The voices in your head take their toll, continously stabbing you with fear and negetivity. It seems like you are covered with huge painful bleeding scars that no one can see, so no one really understands the pain you are dealing with. Its hard to take life one day at a time. Your head weighs like a thousand tons. It always seems like you are running in circles, never getting anywhere. Lot of anger, lot of sadness. It seems like you are on fire and no one or nothing can put it out for long. You are always yearning for relief from it. Sometimes you feel chest pain headaches or break into sweat. You cry a lot. Or you stop feeling anything and become numb.You dont want to leave the house, anxiety wont let you. You want to be left alone. This is what it feels like and i havent even given a full account of it.

Having Depression and Anxiety at the same time is like having no emotions and yet feeling everything at all. It's wanting to not care and isolate yourself but at the same time, it is worrying about many things and feelings around you. It's a constant battle of not caring and caring too much. It's a line of confusion and swirling void and it is a very thin line to cross. It is like being half-asleep and half-awake, you are trapped in limbo state and you don't know what to do anymore, you are just trapped in your mind: an ebbing vortex of both emptiness and loud voices. Depression and anxiety is almost like you are away from your body and you watch yourself slowly disintegrate and disappear in your own hands.

Having depression is like if there is another soul inside you who is doing its best to "kick out" the real you and take over control. No matter what you do or say - there's always depression knocking on your shoulder saying you're not good enough, not worth it, useless... It sucks, really. And in my case anxieties kicked in when depression had totally knocked me down. I became extremely scared and got anxious if I had to do all those normal things that I used to love before mental illness. All my days passed by, being in bed. Hardest part was my dad saying "you're just lazy", he didn't realize that I wasn't physically able to do any better because I was ill. I was left alone. It was devastating.

Having depression and anxiety feels incredibly lonely. And the frustrating thing is that things that could help make things better (such being physically active, talking to someone, going out with friends) are so much more difficult to do when you feel depressed and anxious.