I feel out of place everywhere I go. It feels like being homesick but I feel it even when I'm at home. I'm starting to feel like maybe life isn't meant for everyone. How can I make this go away?
2 Answers
Moderated by Anna Pavia, psicologa psicoterapeuta psychotherapist psychologist counselor
Updated: Feb 11, 2019
Charlie40
on
Jul 16, 2018
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What you describe was very familiar to me for years, and I still feel it sometimes, although more rarely now, because I grew more comfortable with it, somehow.
So I can honestly tell you that this homesickness is not about life not being for everyone, like you were wondering. You are probably more acutely alive through this, only it is all a bit more constellated with question marks that seem to be here for no reason.
Two things happened that made it easier for me: realising there was nothing wrong with me, but simply, a couple of pieces of the puzzle were missing, and it was not like having no home, but rather like not having a "homing device". Eventually I accepted to be home-free, floating, going through life without the usual anchors. At one point I thought, do I need the anchoring? It would be nice, yes, but so much discovery and wisdom can be done without, so, I'll just get going, and if I meet home one day, I'll know. I havent yet met home, but I am ok, it is ok. Maybe home for us is the earth, and we are kind of accidental pioneers who are discovering slowly we not need to be more specific about home.
The second thing was becoming aware (through a late revelation by a relative) of a very early trauma, one that can happen before memory comes with words : so the feeling of not being home may be a texture, a intuition, of a way you adapted, very early, as a human, to a shock or a hardship, and it may simply your body remembering in a very "unspoken" way that something didn't quite go as it should but you survived and adapted, and it stays on as a sort of echo of that kind of heroic thing you may have done very young, to make the world ok.
In any case, it is you, you can embrace it, and you are not alone. It is a strange feeling, but for me it means you are very much alive, and you can do great things, as a...traveller, in this life. We are all travellers in a way. Some feel it more than others.
interestingHeart37
on
Feb 11, 2019
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You feel out of place everywhere and even at home you said well home is what you make it, it's not a direct place its where you feel most comfortable and maybe you just haven't found that place yet but its out there for you its out there for anyone who needs it so you are not alone there are people that felt the same way i felt that way before i found seven cups this place been like a home to me it treated me right and that's what you need to look for a place that treats you right
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