I am struggling with codependency and depression. I cannot afford therapy. What can I do to get help?

I am sorry to hear you are struggling with these things. In the instances where we can't afford help, we actually have a lot more help available than we might think. Sometimes just opening up to someone we care about will help us to overcome our hard times, or at least make it more bearable. These people can be our families, our friends, or religious leaders. If you do not feel you can communicate with those people, then there is a wonderful community here that would be willing to help you through your hard times and be a listening ear.

A cheaper option would be to read self-help books specific to your concerns. I recently began to read Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety by David D. Burns and its like therapy in a book. You can be your own therapist and at your own pace. It even has places for you to write down how you feel and it walks you through the process. Another thing you can do is write it down. Journaling has really helped me pay attention to my codependency trends and more aware of how I react when I am alone. This will give you an opportunity to make better decisions and adjust your perspective of how you view your codependency and depression.

if therapy is not an option for you, i suggest that you confide in someone you really trust, preferably an adult or close family member. if that is also not the best option for you, online counselling and therapy are also great options. some apps include: betterhelp, 7 cups etc. if you are going through LGBTQIA+ related problems, Pride Counselling is also a great option and if you are going through a breakup or rough patch with a partner, Regain is good too. 7 cups however, is a complete free platform with many active listeners, so i highly recommend seeking help here if you are unable to talk to someone trustworthy in real life

You can use 7 cups and focus on ways to improve mental and emotional health via healthy diet, habits, exercise, hygiene and style, and not allowing yourself to fall into the same habits that make you unhappy. This is easier said than done, but also taking time to set small attainable goals can be helpful. Saying today I will take a walk or today I will get dressed and make sure I feel good about myself (Look good, feel good) - can be easy and small ways to combat depression and even codependency by saying that you can attain your goals all on your own.

Try to reach out to people online or irl who have successfully navigated codependent relationships and/or have gone to therapy for codependency. I can’t express enough how helpful that was for me. Try your favorite social media, The Mighty, or here on 7 cups. At the start of a listener chat you can just type “codependency” or “codependency and depression” so that any available listeners with experience can reach out. You can click Browse Listeners and search for me, curiouscreature, but I might not be online at the same time as you (it’d be cool if there was a different messaging system but for now you’d have to catch me online, but again just type codependency before you start the chat, in the box for what you want to talk about, and someone will message you).

You can talk to someone on 7 Cups. You can look for supportive people, which may come in the form of support groups. Three free support groups, which also have a presence online and Zoom meetings, are Al Anon, CODA and ACA. These all offer supportive people and a framework to deal with codependency problems. Engaging in these programs will also really help to lift or lessen depression. Exercise, healthy eating, and good self care will also improve depression. Good self care could be getting enough sleep, looking after yourself and setting time for things you enjoy. Such as reading, watching TV, or listening to music. Or a hot bath! Maybe learning something new too. A new language, a musical instrument, coding. Even just reading about something new on the internet.

I can really hear you feel anxious and worried about not being able to afford therapy which I understand is a costly means of support but please know there are others resources out there that do not involve therapy. From personal experience I usually turn to books , workbooks and apps as resources for codependency and depression which are more accessible and affordable. To understand the creditability of the resources please look out for the credentials or experience of the person (lived experience, expertise) who wrote the resource. If wanting to open up about your experiences in real time connecting with a listener on our site can be the choice for you! Some of our listeners have lived experience with codependency and depression. Familiarity can bring people together and reaching out on this site can help you feel less alone with what you go through! Hope this helps!

I am sorry for what caused you to be in this situation. I also could not afford therapy when I was depressed. I worked on myself by myself. I did all of following, every single thing- Talked to listners here, mostly to take out my frustrations, not for advice. Because nobody never knew what exactly I want and my situation accurately. I still do but the frequency has fallen from 3 times a day to maybe once a month or fortnight. It feels good to be by myself. Talked to people who were like the person I see myself to be. I still keep an eye for such people. Pushed myself into physical works, literally was hard on myself for it. And 50% of the betterment was from physical workout only. It started working for me after 20 days or a month at least. I worked only towards having an everyday proper routine, not any fancy goal. It worked and helped me having clear thoughts about what I want and the ways I can achieve them. It was not easy to set back to routine, took months. I have cut off toxic people for me by taking chance of a situation from everyday routine. It felt so much lighter after it. And I kept being my best friend and turning towards myself for the best help. It worked the most. I was needy to have someone by my side throughout the day, even if it is a train of listener/s. Then I got back to myself after filling my time with tv shows, movies, studies, work, sleep, studies. Slowly I regained my tendency to be by myself. It would have taken 3 to 4 months. I dropped things that were pulling me back. Not easy. Took time. I had tried all this separately an year before. A therapist makes it easy, but still it is you who has to work on yourself.

Both codependency and depression are tough to deal with alone. I can only imagine how overwhelmed and helpless you might feel at times. Joining support groups can be very helpful, just to feel heard by others going through similar challenges but also to have an anchor, a place to turn too when needed. There are many free supports groups available online if therapy is not an option for financial reasons. Learning coping skills to deal with depression is crucial to avoid spiraling down and not bein able to get out of it. Something which I consider very helpful are DBT Skills (Dialectical Behavior Therapy ) as well as CBT Skills (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). 7cups offers free support groups as well as self-help guides.

Do your best to be aware of your codependency and the feelings connected to it. It can be very difficult at times to focus on those feelings, but a saying I tend to use is 'you have to feel it to heal it.' Try to think about *why* you are experiencing codependency and how this meets an unfulfilled need in your life. Doing this through journaling, meditating, or inner child work could be helpful. Possibly pursue long-term support with a listener to have more structured support in your journey. Pay attention to your relationships with others, the boundaries that you (and the other person) have set, and the feelings those bring up. It is okay to have a hard time and you are not alone in your struggle with codependency and depression.