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How do I help explain to a parent that what I feel is valid after they reacted badly?

Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jul 2, 2016
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Maybe you could give it some time? Wait until you have all calmed down and the mood is right to bring it up again to discuss. They may also need time to digest what you have told them. I don't know what you told them but it is possible that they were taken by surprise or shocked which is why they reacted badly, maybe they need time to take it in :)
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Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jul 30, 2017
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If you let your parents know that their behaviours are important to you and you value their care and respect - then expressing the negative ways that they have made you feel will be much easier. In my personal experience, showing my parents that they have hurtfully impacted me when I much rather respect when they encourage me allows for myself to validate how I honestly feel,
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jul 5, 2016
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Give them time to cool off, show them maturity and show them you understand their perspective, bringing them to a sense of understanding will take a lot of time and effort, but its necessary
Profile: weirdblueberry05
weirdblueberry05 on Aug 9, 2017
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If I was you,I would try to make them understand that feelings are feelings. Sometimes you can't control the chemical reactions in your head about some specific situations. Based on a lot of things you will perceive certain situations in your own way. So it is your reality,they are valid. If it is ok with them try to tell them things that bother you and suggest something that would make you feel better. Also try to you sentences as "I feel..." not "You make me feel.." . I hope it works!:)
Profile: Bri22
Bri22 on Jul 2, 2016
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Write a letter explaining how you feel in response to the situation as well as your emotions regarding the situation itself. Acknowledge you understand them too and reiterate what understanding you want them to get out of it too in a calm and reasoned manner.
Profile: Remina
Remina on Jul 9, 2016
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You want to make sure you wait until your parent is calm because someone who isn't calm will not be able to understand what you are saying. Always remember to speak calmly and assert yourself so your message is taken seriously. Also try to speak in "I" statements rather than "you".
Profile: Millichidulinas
Millichidulinas on Jul 13, 2016
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Keep telling him/her what are your feelings and use a lot of details. Try to explain situation with your feelings and details.
Profile: MsYani
MsYani on Jul 22, 2016
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With a calm tone, ask your parents for time to be able to express your concerns and your hurt feelings without them interrupting. Tell them you need them to listen so you can explain why you feel they reacted badly. Explain that this certain matter is very important and concerning to you. And that even though they may feel or think that it is insignificant, remind them that to YOU it feel large and that you actually are seeking THEIR expertise on how to handle this situation. Let them know that if they shrug it off or react badly, YOU feel pushed aside or feel as if your problems are not important. This feelings might make you feel to not be able to express later on feelings or problems that may affect/impact your life on a greater scale.
Profile: LoverOfHappiness
LoverOfHappiness on Aug 6, 2016
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It may seem not fair, but asking for their reason as to why they reacted badly can help. It hels if you allow the person to see that you are willing to see their side, and then you can counteract it by telling them you understand and explaining why you feel the way you feel in a calm manner.
Profile: courageousIris14
courageousIris14 on Jun 13, 2018
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Sit down with that parent and in a calm and relaxed manner, explain with them how you’re feeling after their bad behavior. I feel that always remaining calm and FOCUSED when approaching a parent, or anyone that’s hurt your feelings, is the best way to get your point across. Also, allow your parent to view their reasons for their behavior. LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN. The best way to communicate in ANY fashion is to LISTEN and REALLY hear what is being said to you. Evaluate it. Digest it. Then access what and how your next move will be. Never worry about what YOU are going to say next. LISTEN. Hopefully you’ll achieve a positive conclusion after your explanation of your feelings.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jul 26, 2018
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I dealt with the “you’re just confused” comments from my family, I’ve been there. I would say just sit down with your parents and discuss LGBTQ+ people in general, maybe a celebrity or something, so they can warm up to the idea of having an LGBTQ+ child.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jul 29, 2018
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This is a little tricky because everyone has different kinds of parents and different kinds of relationships with them. Something that seems to work, is waiting for the atmosphere to cool down and then calmly request them to hear and listen to you first and then make their own judgment after you're done. You may explain why you feel the way you do and at times it can be helpful to let them know that their reaction hurt you and made you feel like your feelings aren't valid. It's easier said than done but it can be worth it. p.s: no matter what, remember that your feelings are always valid
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Aug 9, 2018
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Explaining to a parent or someone who’s played a big role in life something that they don’t believe you the first time is hard. I know from experience. Depending on how it is, you could try to let them cool off and then sit down and try to talk to them again. If things got heated try to see how you could avoid repeating it. Explain to them and let them see how important it is to you. Also keep in mind some things take awhile.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Aug 10, 2018
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Maybe talk to a friend of your family and make them tell your parents that may be easier than you telling it on your own
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Aug 12, 2018
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Speaking honestly to a parent is the best way to connect with them, they will appreciate that your telling the truth and try to empathise with youn
Profile: ShiningTree123
ShiningTree123 on Aug 22, 2018
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It will vary from culture to culture... in some cultures, talking back to a parent is strictly taboo and sometimes one's best option is to bite one's tongue and find other outlets for one's feelings. It will also depend on the relationship between the child and the parent - some parents are more open to listening to their children than others... again it may simply be a waste of time in certain circumstances to carry on a discussion which is going to lead nowhere. It is always best in life to take a step back mentally in a heated situation and pause to reflect; putting oneself in another person's shoes is often a useful exercise... maybe spend some time writing a carefully-worded note can help, where we can express ourselves calmly and rationally... chances are the parent may also regret having lost their cool, and if there is sufficient love in the relationship, will be eager to rebuild a bridge when the opportunity presents itself.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Mar 21, 2019
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Sometimes it is hard for people to walk in your shoes. I find it helpful to ask them if they have ever been in a similar situation or felt similar things. Being open about your feelings and helping parents to connect to them on a personal level could help the conversation. I think that emotions and feelings are always valid and experience as we all experience them differently, it can sometimes be hard to understand each other, or where we are coming from. Stating that your feelings are valid in the same way that their feelings are, might enable them to question their reaction.
Profile: professionalcallie23
professionalcallie23 on Mar 22, 2019
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Sometimes when parents are talking to their children, they are only thinking like a parent. Angry about you not listening, or that what they didn't think what you did is right. They forget the lesson we learned as children, empathy. Putting yourselves in another person's shoes. Sometimes as adults you forget that your children have their own point of view, & no matter how much you both believe you're right you have to understand that. Even though you may be young your feelings are still as valid as anybody elses! Try to calmly explain how you feel to them, or instead of face to face try writing a letter that says this is how i feel...
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jun 6, 2019
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To have someone listen to you, you need to listen to what they have to say. Listening is extremely underrated! Keep your calm, and understand they worry and bother because they care. See where they are coming from and try to address each point they layout in their argument. If anything bot only it builds a stronger case for you but they might even see your vision clearly. They will also respect you for hearing them out. They might even return the favor and an argument could become a discussion. After all your parents together are you! Something to think about.
Profile: Wadey
Wadey on Jun 6, 2019
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Sometimes parents forget that we are people just the same as they are, and easily overlook our feelings, thoughts and opinions. It's sometimes helpful to remind them that you are at a point that you have developed into your own person, and your ideals and feelings will not always coincide with theirs, but you respect their feelings and would ask that they give you that same respect in return. Mutual respect is usually what I find to be the biggest issue in any relationship, rather it be friends, family or a partner. You must respect one another even if you disagree, to therefore value one another's feelings.
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