Why is everyone around me always being so mean?
Anonymous
on
Oct 20, 2016
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Because they probably don't know that you're suffering from what they do/say. Explain to them. If they don't understand you, give them time or change your relationships.
Anonymous
on
Oct 29, 2016
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Maybe you should ask. If they don't tell you, just try to be good to everyone and be proud of yourself without subestimating others
caringWinter88
on
Mar 25, 2020
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I think most people are not mean. 85% wants to be kind I learned in my Michigan University study leading people and teams. People mostly want to be kind. But some people are really mean, and mostly because of they are abused as a young child. I think there is a difference in bullies at work, and school, and at home, and friends. You could change friends, friends agree with you, so when one is a bully it is not a friend. You could change your job, and home and school. What do you consider to be a good person? What would your friends have to agree on with you, to be a friend? You could ask bystanders to stand by and help to stop the bullies.
youdefinehope
on
Mar 29, 2020
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Firstly, im sorry you are experiencing this. Just know that there is nothing wrong with you, usually people are mean because you have something they dont, theyre jealous, and thats not your fault! and sometimes the nicer you are, the meaner people get - but that doesnt mean you have to change, keep being you because you are enough, dont ever let people make you think different. Mean people have their own problems, but that doesnt excuse their behavior. No matter what happens, know that nothing is wrong with you... If anyone says crappy things about you, they are the ones who are crappy because they’re trying to bring you down, and that’s a downright crappy thing to do. You just keep doing your own thing, theres nothing wrong with that x
Anonymous
on
Apr 10, 2020
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Because it’s just how the world is and how people are they are afraid sad messed up but you have come this far and you got it you can make it you have me and all the other listeners here to be friends we can help you get through this and be the best you it can be hard but all off do want to be hear and talk so if you want to you can come talk to one off us make a new friends gain some confidence and Mabey find the best you there is in you
AlissaRose
on
Apr 22, 2020
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Hello. I hear that you feel hurt when other people are mean to you. Sometimes even when we are nice to people, they still can be rude in return. The world would've been a better place if everyone was nicer. Unfortunately, we cannot change some people, or bad things they might be enduring, who knows whats going on in their life because happy people are usually warm and benign. However, we can change our reaction, for example, be able to learn how to let go. It is challenging, but I believe that 7 cups is a strong platform for acquiring flexible and adaptive coping skills. Good luck.
Anonymous
on
Jun 10, 2020
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I think the first step in tackling this mentality is reminding yourself to be empathetic towards others. You never know what someone is going through just by looking at their life. Even close friends won't truly know your thoughts and emotions if you don't tell them. It's important to recognize that sometimes people can act out when they don't feel in control of their own lives or know how to handle stress/grief/anger/sadness, etc... Sometimes people will be rude/mean/irritable when they don't know how to handle something their dealing with. Remembering that when dealing with someone difficult can help you understand why they're behaving the way they do. Secondly, looking inward can be helpful. Ask yourself when you find others being rude. Take note of things. Did they say something? Did you say something to trigger this response in them? If so, don't beat yourself up. Take responsibility for your actions and understand that we are all human and capable of making mistakes. It's okay! Address the problem when you feel ready - apologize if needed and just communicate with the other person to find out what's bothering them.
Anonymous
on
Jul 4, 2020
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maybe because they hurt too and some of them are mean because they also treat badly that is why they want to share the pain and tough situation that they have felt. just always be positive and dont let yourself down because of what they've done to you . just smile and forgive,forget them. Do your goals and be productive whatever happened. however, ignore them, if they see you are affected of what they say and do they keep doing it because they want to see that you are in pain too. mean people loved to hurt other people who always happy in their lives ,we have also ups and down in life but we should need to handle it properly. maybe miscommunication is the reason we become overthinking of what they say and do we should need to clarify to them what does it mean? so that you may understand why they're acting so rude when they are actually intending to be helpful and to protect others from making mistakes and suffering the consequences. This used to cause a great deal of conflict for us until we realized that they have the good intentions of helping and protecting In fact, some articles I read there are partner who negotiate there problem he used to say “Listen to my intentions. Not my words.†Once a wife learned to do that much conflict was resolved. so maybe we should need to listen the intention and not the tone or words that they said that it can helpless to us and think to them that they are mean.however, to me it depends on the environment and people we encountered. just keep smiling and keep in mind that they want to help you if there are an issue unresolve. if they are really mean because they are insecure to you just dont mind them and forget what they say. I hope it would help to you.🤗
Anonymous
on
Jul 24, 2020
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It’s most likely because you seem inferior to others - maybe you’re not attractive, have an awkward or dowdy vibe, and/or you’re a stigmatized ethnicity in your area.
I’ve been treated extremely rudely and condescendingly since I turned much uglier, facially, than before. People think much worse of me than before, too. It’s extreme subconscious biases and stigmas against ugly people - and the mistreatment and disdain is much greater if you’re ugly AND some other undesirable characteristics, such as a hated ethnicity, awkward talking style, or weird demeanor.
People - stop making life hard, painful, and traumatizing for weird people who are ugly and of an undesirable ethnicity. We can be FAR better than you in all ways - so stop ruining our lives.
Whether you have a customer-facing role, or you’re a teacher, bus driver, doctor, therapist, etc. - have heart and empathy for ugly, awkward, weird people. We suffer through extreme stigmas, and daily pain and suffering, because people are hateful and judgmental to us constantly.
I’m given dirty looks everywhere, and treated rudely, and assumed the worst, in the most wrong ways possible - though I’m the kindest, most thoughtful, most open-minded, loving person in the world.
It’s extremely unjust that some of the most amazing people in the world are treated the most abhorrently.
sunshinePeace7025
on
Jul 31, 2020
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When someone doesn't treat you in a good way , you need to know that it doesn't have to be you ! it could be that they didn't learn how they should love themselves before they could love and respect others. When a person has more of inner peace, self-love and gratitude they would be nothing but kind humans to others. Think of what could be the reason that they are mean? What do they mean to you ? that you would rather decide on helping them to get on the right track or maybe decide to walk away
happysunflower94
on
Aug 7, 2020
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On one side, many people have their personal problems, which can make them come out as mean. Many times they do not realize that their behaviour may upset the people around them. So don't worry, it is not your faul! You can ask them nicely if something happened and you could offer them your support. A lot of people have their own fights we may not be aware of. On the other say, your perception of reality might create the illusion of people being mean towards you. If you have a bad day and a bad mood, people may seem rude to you. We usually become more sensitive when we are sad or angry. But that is totally alright as it is temporary! I hope my answer helped you! Good luck and always remeber that your are loves and your feeling are valid!
Anonymous
on
Aug 16, 2020
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Maybe they envy sorts of merits that you hold, which they were born without or even will never achieve. Human is born with the conception to compare and compete with one another. Sometimes even there are not any mistake on you, but because you are too unusual and not mundane as the most of them do, thet show hostility and dislike to you. Do not suspect if there's any importance for yo to change in order to abide with them.Just keep progressing, chasing what you are dying to attend, don't care too much about what others surrouding you would regard you. Try be the ture yourself.
ManedWolf
on
Aug 23, 2020
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I can't say for your exact situation but people can often be mean or simply act in a dismissive or aggressive manner. It isn't your fault, even if you have in some way wronged that person it still doesn't give them the right to act in a way that is disrespectful. It's always best to be careful with the people who you surround yourself with. Look for people who tend more to support you than criticize you. If you aren't successful in keeping yourself away from people who are mean to you or you are forced into a situation with them try and keep a positive outlook on life and remember that most people who are mean just do it because they themselves are hurt and not because you have done anything wrong.
ingeniousBeauty4518
on
Sep 9, 2020
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people are mean for many many reasons. this could be they are struggling themselves or they’re just mean. i would try to ignore them if possible and focus on yourself. if it gets to a certain extent where it’s physical or even mentally damaging tell someone you know and trust to sort out the problem. for example teachers, boss, police or parent / caretaker. Just try to always remember you are most definitely worth more than any horrible things they say and try not to focus on them in life as they aren’t worth it. if you have any further questions go ahead!
lavpetals
on
Sep 18, 2020
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I feel like some people are selfish and insensitive. If they get the same treatment it's the end of the world, they don't feel for others and in turn, end up hurting people. I found that it's a matter of not caring, it's difficult of course, but once I had my overthinking at a minimum, and I didn't focus on what people had to say that much, I didn't get hurt. But that of course only applies to people who are being mean and aren't close to you, i.e. their opinion doesn't matter, other than that, it can be a bit tricky.
HeartDancer
on
Oct 23, 2020
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Can you describe the context in which this is occurring? Either you are in an abusive situation, or you might need to look at your own behavior and how it contributes to the dynamic of whats going on. At times in my life I've thought everyone around me was being mean, only to discover I was acting in ways that was unknowingly inappropriate. Sometimes we need to reflect on our own actions and think about how they come across to other people. BUT, with that being said, it is also possible you're in an abusive situation...but we'd need to know more about whats actually going on.
Anonymous
on
Nov 15, 2020
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When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at also change . It may sound boring but in the very Nature of things it is so. When you think a little bit deeper you can see how we , humans often attract things in life based on our "vibration" . I can share my story. I have been often bullied in school, by everyone, even by the people who knew me not nor did i them, they were just passing by and hitting me with everything possible they could found on the floor . Not to mention the people from the class. So it made me wonder "why always me?". I needed to come to that conclusion how something within me attracted anger from the others. And , yes i have been always so negative, sad and desperate. But when i have realised that, little by little i started to change the way i think ans the way i look at things. And that is what really helped me to get rid of "mean people" and situations. Today i no longer meet them :)nor do they meet me. I hope my opinion helps a bit.
Ines1229
on
Dec 2, 2020
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People around us can get like that sometimes. I think the most important thing you should never forget is that it is not your fault by any means.
People who are being mean, by rule, are acting this way because of their own selfish needs or due to personal issues and jealousy.
Them being mean to you does not mean you are not enough or there is something wrong with you, but with them.
Some people feel the need to look for attention from others by making themselves feel respected and “funnyâ€. That is something they struggle with and you are nothing less than them.
People will always talk and there is often the case where someone will be around throwing mean remarks towards us. But! Never forget how worthy and amazing you are! â¤ï¸
Anonymous
on
Jan 17, 2021
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I would take a step back and maybe thinking about what may have happened and ask yourself is there something I am doing or is it just them and their personality? Sometimes People can be upset and act mean. Maybe they are going through a rough time? Kind of ask them and confront. It is also helpful to ask yourself if the relationship you are in is good for you, if it is beneficial? It can be very upsetting if people are being mean to you. Don't let other people bring you down. Just identify whether its something you can work on or if its just the group of people you are hanging around with.
Anonymous
on
Feb 21, 2021
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They do not understand how to talk to you. maybe you tell them how it makes you feel. I understand how stressful it can be. I hope evrything works out, if not you are more than welcome to come talk to me! And any time you feel down or just need to talk feel free to reach out to me at any time. I am here to provide you and others suport. i am glad you came to 7 cups. Know that your feeling and emotions are valid and you are important. Be kind and you shall recive kindness back.
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