Why is it so hard to talk to an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?

Just for clarification, I wrote about why it is so hard to an ex-boyfriend or an ex-girlfriend as friends. Not quite sure if this is what the question implied, but feel free to read! **Effort** One of the biggest challenges is putting in the effort to becoming friends, it can be extremely uncomfortable to talk to them again as friends without the romantic aspect to it. You have to look at them from a different "lens", and despite all the experiences you lived together, all those moments you may have cherished. You may feel a variety of emotions, scared, angry, happy, sad. These emotions may very well play into the reason why it's so hard to talk to your past significant other. If the relationship ended on bad terms that fight or argument could be what's stopping you from talking to them. Or if the break up was something that deeply impacted you and they were a huge part of your life. Talking to them again can remind you of what it was once like to be together, any of these outcomes are perfectly normal. **Accepting them as friends** Maybe you both agreed that breaking up is what's best for both of you. It's the part where you have to get used to both of you moving on with your lives and seeing each other around knowing that they will eventually move on to another person. Talking to them may be very challenging cause it's a way of accepting that you are just friends and nothing more. Overall, getting used to seeing them as friends, acknowledging the fact that you guys have broken up and that you both move in life. Is a big part of why it's so hard to talk to your ex. If anything just why accepting a breakup is so hard. Anyway I hope I kind of answered the question, I know it sounds a lot like why it's hard to break up. But I guess it's alright. I hope you enjoyed reading it, (was my first post :D) You have an amazing day, Thank you!

Because they know your deepest darkest parts, and seeing them happy with someone else can be quite confronting. It can be difficult to see them move on and share the same things with someone new. Many people probably feel as though they are sharing those issues and intimate moments with this new person, and that can be quite invasive too. It can help to understand why the relationship broke down, and remember that there were perhaps bad and irreparable parts and that in that moment when you see them again, all that you may remember are the good, happy, fun times.

It must be challenging because of the intense emotions attached to that past relationship, which both partners never discussed. The experiences in that relation could leave a significant impact on both sides, either it is a good or bad experience. For some instances, it could be traumatizing to others, and probably that relationship did not heal yet over time. I would rather talk to someone that could help me grow personally and move on to become better versions. Sometimes acceptance is a better way to understand that relationships are not meant for each other, but it will teach you to learn and grow and move on.

Talking to someone from your past is hard because it brings back bad memories sometimes especially if you had a rough depart from that person. We often as a society make it the norm to cut off exs for our own comfort and many times that does help but sometimes you may need closure or have unfinished business that needs to be handled so it is necessary to speak with them. Even though it is hard remember you are being very strong in making the attempt to reconnect because before like I mentioned many don’t really attempt to do that. When speaking try your best to not linger on resentment and trying to do whatever your goal is whether it be make amends, apologize, just reconnect etc. because you will feel much more satisfied for yourself if you try your best to make it work despite the normal painful or awkwardness.

Because there is so much emotional history there, if you loved and cared about them you most likely always will but it's not easy to show that at all times. If a relationship comes to an end i find it's easier to completely lose all contact and detach myself for a while to just get over it and put any anger or anxiety or any feeling in general i may have toward the situation. You have to come to terms with the end of a relationship before you can become able to get over any awkward stage that there may be.

Cause they breaked your heart. You loved them more than other things. They were such a big part of your life, and suddenly they're gone. You'll probably never talk with them like you did before and this fact hurts bad. And when you don’t move on it’s hard to talk with them, cause every time you have to think about all your good times together and that they're gone and that there will never be such a situation with this (often) great person. And cause it’s a bit awkward, you're not lovers anymore and not friends, but you know each other well. very well.

It can be hard because you may have felt so much love or just cared for them deeply and now that the two of you are no longer together. You went from being together to maybe not even talking for a period of time, so it can be awkward and even uncomfortable to start having normal conversations with them. If your ex boyfriend/ ex girlfriend hurt you or vice versa then it would be really awkward because they/you know how badly they felt for however long. For some people that is hard to just have a normal conversation, when you/they felt that pain for however long.

The most serious warning signs include any form of violence, abuse or harassment, which should be dealt with immediately. But in many cases, the indicators of a toxic relationship are much more subtle. The first, and simplest, is persistent unhappiness, Glass says. If a relationship stops bringing joy, and instead consistently makes you feel sad, angry, anxious or “resigned, like you’ve sold out,” it may be toxic, Glass says. You may also find yourself envious of happy couples. Fuller says negative shifts in your mental health, personality or self-esteem are all red flags, too. These changes could range from clinically diagnosable conditions, such as depression, anxiety or eating disorders, to constantly feeling nervous or uncomfortable — especially around your partner. Feeling like you can’t talk with or voice concerns to your significant other is another sign that something is amiss, Fuller says. You should also look out for changes in your other relationships, or in the ways you spend your free time, Fuller says. “You may feel bad for doing things on your own time, because you feel like you have to attend to your partner all the time,” she says. “You cross the line when you’re not your individual self anymore and you’re giving everything to your partner.” Finally, Fuller says concern from family or friends should be taken seriously, particularly since people in toxic relationships are often the last to realize it. Brocke says that was true of her relationships, which perpetuated the damage for years. “By the time I actually started realizing I was in something that wasn’t healthy, it was so normal to me that it didn’t seem like that big a deal,” Brocke says. “You get paralyzed in it, because you’re just used to it.”

When talking to an ex, it can be really difficult because of all the feelings that are in your shared past and often no longer in your shared present. It always depends on the circumstances of which the relationship ended but most commonly it's because one party doesn't feel the same as the other. This can often lead to one or both parties feeling embarrassed or guilty or awkward. After knowing someone so intimately, it can be really hard going back to being just friends or acquaintances. The unknown territory and uncertainty of knowing where your new boundaries lie in a relationship that has changed is difficult.

Talking to an ex-boyfriend or an ex-girlfriend can be very difficult, no matter if you have gotten over them or not. There are many factors that make it feel this way. According to my own experience, I'd say what has made it harder for me was that I had connected those people with certain memories.However, when it comes to the getting over them part, I've noticed that once I was fully over them it was sort of easier to talk with them or even connect with those people as friends. These experiences differ for each person though. :)