Why do women cheat instead of breaking up?

First I have to say that I am so sorry that you're going through this. Dealing with cheating is one of the hardest things anyone can do in a relationship. That said I truly don't think any particular sex, group, etc. is less likely to break up and more likely to cheat in a relationship. Every situation is different. I hope you have a strong support network...or someone here...that you can talk with, express your feelings, and move towards healing and eventually move forward in your life and relationships. I wish you the absolute best...and hope you know there are people here that support you and are wishing for your healing. Stay well!

Stereotypically, men tend to cheat based off looks, eg; they will cheat with a woman with a “better body”. Women tend to cheat when their current relationship is lacking something, maybe emotional support, or maybe her boyfriend doesn’t give her enough attention. They most likely love their boyfriends but due to her needs and wants not being met fully, she feels the need to fufill them elsewhere yet doesn’t want to leave the man she originally chose as he probably had some favourable qualities that she fell in love with in the first place. That is speaking from personal experience but I cannot speak for all women.

From experience, women sometimes have a phobia of abandonment or of being alone, so breaking up causes a lot of anxiety stress depression then it does in the relationship and that causes a lot of regrets. Sometimes when they cheat they don't really even mean to cheat. Sometimes it's by accident or they phrase the sentence wrong and make their boyfriend/girlfriend misunderstand what they were trying to say. And then that whole phobia of abandonment comes back up and because of the whole mistake, she starts defending herself getting angry saying harsh unnecessary things. Then it turns into a bitter hurtful miserable tiring frustrating regretful break up.

They cheat because there could be several reasons for not ending things, assuming it’s a full blown affair and not a one off; 1- They have fallen out of true love with the spouse (this ones a given in any situation of serious infidelity ) but feel they need to stay in the relationship for any number of reasons kids- not wanting to mess them up, have them see them as less family - although they no longer love the spouse the family dynamic is good and there are still nice times with the kids, it’s comfortable and there is a sense of security for all money/investments (huge if the marriage is a long time one) obligation/guilt - they know they made a commitment and feel obligation to stay no matter what even if they fall in love with the affair partner relationships/mutual friends/extended family - a divorce can strain these relationships and they may be afraid of impacting them and losing them as well if they are close ones they want their cake and to eat it too - they get the emotional and physical fulfillment outside the marriage and the home comforts within 2 - They are a coward (another given in any affair situation) they are afraid to tell the spouse they no longer love them and deal with the situation that may follow they don’t care enough to do anything about it and are afraid if they come clean about their dissatisfaction they will have to work to fix it and are afraid of what that will reveal they are afraid to face up to their own inadequacy that contributed to the issues in the marriage they are afraid if they come clean with their true feelings the marriage will end and they will lose the house/kids etc 3- they are testing the waters, they want to see if there is something better before making a move, an exit affair

I'm now expert on this, but in my head, I think it comes down to not being able to handle emotions properly. Not all women cheat instead of breaking up, but the ones that do tend to get themselves into something without thinking, then it ends up blowing up in their face, and suddenly they don't know what to do. Now, I'm not saying that all women who cheat go through this, as some do it just to be mean, and I'm also not saying that just because there's a lack of not knowing what to do justifies anything. For the women who don't know how to handle their emotions/feelings, I think it comes down to them not wanting to hurt anyone - but they are aware that all truth comes to the light eventually.

Not all women cheat. I think you would get a different answer from every person that cheat’s. Beginning a new relationship with someone is exciting,and make’s you feel good inside. Even thought you know your betraying a person you love. A lot of time’s it makes you believe you will be happy again. Now the down side ending a relationship can be the most emotionally and physical drain that your body and mind have to prepare for if you decide to end your relationship first. Most people that cheat do love there S/O and don’t want to hurt them by leaving. So with the mind set that they won’t get caught there willing to stray. What you don’t know won’t hurt you mentality. Plus if you decide that this is wrong and can’t do it anymore. You still have everything you stood to loose and go on in your marriage as nothing ever happened. And the only time you will think about it is when your S/O say’s WE NEED TO TALK. and you feel your ass pucker up thinking they found out. Like i said easy to start not very easy to end!

Just like men, This can be a deep Insecurity, or from growing up in an unaffectionate family. They tend to seek more affection, attention, and approval. Either way, they do not respect you enough to stay loyal to you, that alone should end the relationship. Always try to understand the deeper meaning in people's actions, but never be #2! Leave them and let them heal on their own. However long that may be should not concern you. You prioritize your mental health above all. There are many more out there who are waiting for someone to give their all to.

It's not a matter of what you are a man or a woman, people will cheat when they are not ready or are afraid to face the reality of breaking up with the person they are with. It will be a case by case basis and some people do it because of previous trauma and have never been in a stable relationship growing within their household or with friends etc. There is always a deeper reason, often stemmed from trauma but it is also no excuse to treat the other person in the relationship like trash (if the other person is genuine and loyal!). Some may do it because the other person is abusive and controlling and they have no other escape. It is important to ask yourself if you are creating an environment that forces your s.o. to not be themselves, to feel pressured or they can't express who they are freely with you... the problem may stem from you too.

Some women cheat depending on the context of what is happening for example: A woman cheats on her abusive boyfriend who could care less about her genuinely and cares more about his ego then he does as to why she's unhappy in the first place. - I feel like there are so many scenarios where women cheat BUT in cases like when a woman cheats because she just does it because she is bored is simply because she is bored and has nothing better or good to do. It really just all depends on the context of the situation in all.

I believe that some (not all) women cheat instead of breaking up because they are afraid of being hurt, mentally and physically, if they break up with their partner. Most women exist in a relationship where their partner has more power over them, so in a position where you have to choose between an angry boyfriend or a kind side boy in secret, some are going to choose that second option. Most of the time, it is not the woman's choice whether they want to break up or not. Sometimes, they are not allowed to, because of toxic masculilnity.