Why do we tend to keep wanting to go back to the person who has hurt us the most?

Because you used to love and trust this person so much that you formed an emotional dependency for them. And in response to you adoring them, even if you may not want to accept the fact that you do, you naturally want to feel all of the good you once felt with them. I know exactly how this feels. I promise you that you're not alone in this circumstance. There's so many people who go back to the person that crushed them; it's human nature. We tend to form a vulnerable spot for someone that we love very much that we in turn enable ourselves to excuse the wrong that they did. I wouldn't consider this healthy because people don't usually change. If they hurt you once then they'll hurt you again. Just don't feel guilty for wanting to go back to them, I'm definitely understanding that in my situation. But please, don't go after someone who hurt you. The best that you could do is fix yourself and find someone who treats you amazingly. It's going to take a while to find someone who 100% loves you back, but once you do, you'll know that people with a genuine connection wouldn't hurt to each other.

Because for someone to hurt us so badly, we have to have truly loved them, and leaving someone you love is one of the hardest things to do.

because we feel like they know us inside out. we feel like we need them to function and breathe when in reality we haven't weaned ourselves off them yet

It's what you're familiar with. You know this person well enough that you're used to having them around. And if you care for them, even if they've hurt you, you subconsciously want them to get better so you keep going back to them. Without any drastic change or discussion with them, they're likely to hurt you still.

I think the reasoning is the relationship started off perfect and he was the perfect person but now that he’s shown his true color you can’t seem to believe that that’s really the person you fell for. It’s always hope that he will hopefully change back to who he was in the beginning. Sometimes the things that hurt you the most make you the happiest so you stay anyway

whenever I see this, its most often because that person is more familiar, we know them, and they know us. so it would make sense to go back to them, but if they are hurting us, we need to try and break the cycle of leave and return. we just need to stay away, at lest until they are better

Because they obviously matter a lot to be able to hurt you in such a way, and we love them so much we keep going back in hope to see the parts of them that make us love them.

We tend to latch on to what is familiar despite the hurt. Also sometimes, we care too much and are hopeful in the sense that maybe that person could change.

We seek familiarity, even if it is toxic. It is part of our human nature. A squirrel will climb back down to a familiar ground just to collect food. We humans, fortunately, have the choice to not return, but due to the mental block, it is often hard to realize how powerful and independent we can truly be. We are free birds who have not flown enough, and that is why we do not venture out to experience the beauty of this world. We do not seek the wide world, we seek what is familiar to us, which is experiences of pain. To return to a hurtful person is a sign of compassion because you can still see the good in them through all the violations and abuse. However, we must practice compassion towards ourselves first and protect our hearts from being hurt by people who are masters at behaving heartlessly.

You feel a sense of comfort even when they do something to you. its hard to let go sometimes. It takes time to realize.