Why do I keep going back to my toxic relationship?

Because you love that person, and that is completely understandable, but your wellbeing comes first.

It is often due to the fear of being alone. Many of us can't bear to be alone and out of this fear they hold on to toxic relationships. It is important to see that we can also exist outside of relationships and that we are a valid human being that doesn't need to hold on to situations that aren't doing us any good.

There are several reasons why we continue with a relationship that we know is toxic. Sometimes we are scared to let go, for the fear of being alone. At others, its the deep rooted feeling of being unwanted. So we hang on to these toxic people thinking that it is by there benevolence that we still have someone. And then there are times when we feel like life without them is unimaginable. It is our love for them that keeps our feet rooted. Most of us who cradle toxic relationships like babies to our bosoms, we have some deep rooted insecurities that are yet to be dealt with. For my part, the only way to lessen the damage is to starts finding the value in ones own existence. And if we cant love ourselves like we do others, the least we can do is give ourselves the ACCEPTANCE we deserve.

Familiarity and, unfortunately, low self-esteem or another underlying disorder can be the biggest culprits. As humans we naturally tend to stay with what we know and what we're used to, even if it's toxic. This can lead to feelings that are very conflicting and confusing. Some subconsciously enjoy staying in toxic situations such as relationships to self-harm themselves if they already struggle from such issues like body dysmorphia, depression, low self-esteem, etc. Once you better understand the reasoning behind why something so toxic can also be so alluring, you can take the first step to recognizing it within yourself and subsequently working to fix it and live a life that you deserve.

If we have a history of abuse in our life and our relationships, we will tend to head back to that type of thing. Even if that comfort is in misery, there is comfort because we know what to expect to a degree. Change can be hard to take, for two reasons: The fear of failure; what if I fall and can't get back up? And the fear of success; what if I make it and I can't handle it?

When we want our relationships to succeed, we can end up investing so much time and energy into them. This is not a bad thing when both sides are working hard for the same goal. However, in a toxic relationship, this can be one sided. I think that when we're in a toxic relationship, it can be hard to let go because we don't want to feel like this energy has been wasted. We don't want to feel like we have failed. It can also be that the toxicity of the relationship has beaten us down to where we feel like even if we wanted to, we can't break away. I think it's important to remember that we are in control of our lives, and even if a relationship failed, it doesn't not mean we have failed. We can still take away life lessons from it, and learn to let go. If a relationship is toxic beyond our control, and we feel like we can't get out, it's important to know that we can reach out for help. There is no shame in asking for help when we need it.

I found when I kept going back to my toc=xic relationship it was because I had the bad minutes that being alone was wrong and I would rather be unhappy in a relationship than be alone, I then realised I'm independent and I am happy single and free from the toxic relationship

Personally, I have also experienced this and I believe that even when someone is clearly bad for you, you can't help still liking them. Love is strong and it doesn't stop for nothing, it's hard to end the relationship when you can't end the feelings

We all go into this expectation of what we think'll happen, maybe it'll be different this time, maybe It was me. Remember toxic relationships do not help us they bring us down. Put yourself first because you owe that to yourself.

We all long for love, but we want it fast. If there is someone there that you can call your "significant other" then we tend to go for it. Instead, find your worth in other things. You are worth way more and deserve more than that unhealthy relationship!