Why do I keep going back to my toxic relationship?

I kept going back because I thought he would change, chances after chances were given but nothing ever changed. Same old, same old. He cheated on me more than 4 times. mentally abused me, made me feel absolutely worthless, and like I was not good enough, ever. I gave him everything I could possibly give him, but that was never enough.. but I kept going back time after time after time. Why? I loved him, I felt like he was everything I needed and wanted, I hated the thought of letting go, of losing him.. I was clinging on to hope that he would change, realise the way he was hurting me, hoping that the relationship would go back to being like it first was when we first met and were happy, or at least I thought I was happy... It took me more than a year to finally realise I didn't deserve that toxicity, I realised I was worth it and had to get away from that situation & accept the fact that he would never really change. It was time to focus on myself, on what I truly deserved and it wasn't that pain I needed, nor did I deserve it. It's easier said than done, but if you're getting treated in a way that no person should be getting treated like then you deserve better, You need to leave that toxic relationship. Walk away and find yourself again... as hard as it is to let them go, do it for yourself.

In a short answer it could be a fear of being alone. You may have been in this relationship for a long time and have strong feelings for your partner and you may miss him/her even if you are being treated badly. It is really up to you to set boundaries and decide when enough is enough. You need to understand when the relationship is so toxic that it is affected your mental health or if the behaviour from your partner can be forgiven. It is something that only can do not need to be alone in your decision. You can discuss it with family friends or a listener at 7 cups.

More often than not, our brains like to go back to things that are familiar. When you get so used to something, you like to default to it so that you have a sense of security. Even if they are toxic, at least it's predictable and familiar, right? It's the same concept as buying a new drink from Starbucks or your preferred coffee shop, you know the drink you currently get will satisfy you. So instead of experimenting, you might just default to that instead of picking something new that might be better. This bias allows us to oversee negative traits in our significant other. It hits harder the longer you have been with this person.

Scared of being alone– Another reason that keeps you going back to a toxic relationship is the fear of being alone. The fear of loneliness overpowers everything else. For a lot of people there is a very deep core belief that they will always be alone and no one will like them or accept them. They put in your mind you are no good without them and that you cant live without them. I know for a fact because i was in this situation it gets better i promise Just block them and move on. My life was hard for weeks after but it got better