Why do I keep going back to my toxic relationship?

"We accept the love we think we deserve", sometimes it can be the that we think we only deserve that and it's a way for oneself to punish oneself. Other times it can be the guilt of leaving someone who keeps calling you back. You don't want to be the bad one, your savior complex kicks in and you want to "save" the other person Sometimes it's just can be that it's natural order of things that you have come to accept. Anything straying away from this routine feels odd after a while and you just want to go back to the place which was familiar even though toxic

It can be difficult to completely cut ties with a relationship, even when the relationship it is toxic. People might return to toxic relationships and toxic scenarios for many reason, but perhaps the most common reason is that the particular person or situation--even though it is toxic--is familiar. There can often be a sense of comfort in familiarity, even when that familiarity is with an unhealthy or toxic relationship. When we are familiar with a situation, we often have a sense of how things are going to go (even if we expect them to go in an unfavorable direction) and that foreknowledge can be reassuring when it means we know what to expect.

You might have many reasons to go back to a toxic relationship. I think one of the biggest reason that people go back to these relationships willingly is that it is all they have known--it becomes their comfort zone (no matter how ironic that sounds). People become accustomed to the toxic behaviors of their partners, and they start normalizing it. Being in such a relationship for a long time, makes a person forget their self-worth and that they deserve better--that they are worthy of a loving and respectful partner. This might be the reason why you keep going back to your toxic relationship.

After a break up, our brains like to do this funny thing where we focus on the good times of that relationship instead of the bad times and why you separated in the first place. If we can force ourselves to realise that the relationship ended for specific reasons, the break up process will be so much easier. Don't dismiss the good memories however. They are all part of an experience towards life lessons and making yourself a stronger character. There is somebody out there for everyone and putting yourself into positive situations rather than toxic situations will indeed naturally build up your confidence, self-esteem and general persona over time.

It's easy to get stuck in a rut and old habits always die hard. Your reason for going back is going to be different to someone else's, so really you need to have a think and ask yourself the question 'Why?' - What is it that you are hoping to achieve by repeating old patterns? It could be fear of the unknown. If you are aware the relationship is toxic, that means you clearly have self awareness about the situation. It's going to be hard but i'd sit down and write a list about the positives and negatives of you staying with this person and what you are hoping to achieve and maybe you will gain more understanding about what exactly it is that keeps drawing you back to this person.

Some say you go back because it’s what you’re comfortable with. Some say you go back because you love them. Some say you go back because you’ve put so much of yourself into them and you don’t want to start over. Some say you go back because you feel empty without them or you feel like you physically can’t live without them. I personally think it’s all of that mixed into one. The first step away from someone who is bad for you is always the hardest, but remember.. love yourself first. Love the people who love you and make you the person you want to be. Love the positive energy that makes you feel like you can conquer the world. Don’t hang onto anchors. Let them go and discover how high you can really soar ! I’m not saying it’s easy but take a step back and ask yourself what you really want in life and in yourself then make strides towards those goals. As I always say, one baby step at a time :))

Sometimes toxic relationships are a vicious cycle. Its not your fault and its normal to go back to someone who has previously manipulated you. They might guilt trip you or show you that they care when you try to leave. its really hard to end the cycle. and when you decide to leave for good, take care of yourself and reward yourself for being strong. it might be challenging but if you try to look at the positive outcome of you leaving the toxic relationship, it may motivate you to leave! You can do this! it may take some time and self reflection but at the end of the day, you wont regret it!

You may have been going back to your toxic relationship because that is what feels familiar. You might also be hooked on the positive feelings and memories you've formed in the relationship at the very start. Those can be hard to ignore, whenever they pop up in your head it might even strengthen the attachment you have with the toxic relationship. Or the other case might be that you feel alone, and like no one else can be there for you if you leave your toxic relationship completely. Please don't be ashamed, the fact that you realize it a toxic relationship is already positive growth. And rest assured, there is so much more support out there than you realize. That is why this community is here for you, please don't be afraid to reach out. Still, you know your situation best and I hope you stay safe.

So this is something I have struggled with alot in my life, toxic relationships are in my experience formed when two people who are hurt / unhealed and still go face first into a relationship without allowing themselves to heal first, maybe thats not always the case but from my experience speaking it is.. I feel it is easy to end up in a toxic relationship rather than to find a happy one because when we arent healed from things even when its from when we were younger it doesnt have to be exactly trauma from a sexual relationship that we allow certain patterns that are ''toxic'' in our lives and thats us giving ourselves what we deserve which is never what we really deserve! thats why i feel it is super important to heal first because once we heal we tend to understand what we really need in a relationship ( sometimes we dont even need one! ) but we tend to set the bar higher when it comes to healing vs no being healed because well we then get an idea that we deserve to be treated with respect.

Sometimes there can be a number of factors as to why we go back to things or people that aren’t good for us, while no one can tell you specifically what that reason is it is important to take some time to self reflect and determine what it is you believe you’re getting or want from that person that allows you to continue to go back to them. Once you identify what it is, then you can first put an end to the story you’ve been telling yourself and then create a different one. We’ve all been there. Don’t worry