Why do I freak out in relationships so easily?
208 Answers
Moderated by Sarah Robb, LISW-S (Licensed Independent Social Worker, Supervisor Designation) and LICDC (Licenced Chemical Dependency Counselor)
Updated: Jun 4, 2022
Anonymous
on
Apr 30, 2020
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Maybe you have anxiety from being in a relationship or you have unresolved feelings. I don't know all the context of your situation so I cant say anything for sure but it sounds like you could not be ready for a relationship yet. Try to think more about what causes you to freak out in relationships. What specific parts of a relationship make you anxious. How does being in a relationship make you feel? Does this only apply to significant others or does this apply generally to all your relationships? Is it something you do or is it something the other side does?
SoftKat
on
May 7, 2020
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Sometimes we have a rough past in relationships that can set us up to be more cautious of future relationships. For example, if you've been in an abusive relationship, you may feel more uneasy in your next relationship. If you were in a relationship where your significant other cheated, you may be more inclined to freak out or have severe trust issues. It's good to practice mindfulness when you notice that you're beginning to freak out in your relationship. It might be a good idea to have an open conversation with the person you're in a relationship as well. Take care!
safeshoulder2CryOn
on
May 16, 2020
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Relationships involve many aspects of peoples' lives. It defines their identities, shapes their beliefs and modify their opportunities. This inevitably and understandably can overwhelm people. The most common response is the flight response where people escape or distance themselves from partners in order to preserve their inner identities or protect their objectives. Due to the varied nature of causation, it is difficult to give a single answer on why some people freak out in relationships. Although the escapist behaviour is highly frown upon in society, it is a justified behaviour in emotional ecosystem as it is a time where the brakes are applied to safeguard the most treasured resouces.
Mandalollypop1620
on
Jun 12, 2020
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Relationships often mean a commitment of some sort, and commitment can be a very scary thing. Perfectionists, like myself, often struggle in relationships because we are obsessed with making a perfect choice, and it takes a long time to really know weather or not someone is the right person. Relationships also sometimes come with a sense of obligation, making it really scary when someone does something nice for you . It can make receiving gifts and compliments from that person very awkward, because of the sense of implied obligation. You end up feeling like you owe this person something in return for their kindness.
tessakinsss
on
Jun 25, 2020
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Perhaps you have to know that you can trust the person. Maybe you are scared you could mess things up. These are common worries for new relationships and they will get better as you get to know the person more and start to have a good relationship with them. The other person probably is worried about these same things so you really just have to learn how to grow together and build that trust.You also must be patient with each other and know that some things don't happen overnight.New relationships can be scary and stressful for both partners but as long as you work things out together, you both should be just fine!
journey91
on
Jul 5, 2020
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It is normal to feel freaked out in relationships because it requires a sense of vulnerability with someone else. With enough time, you can take control of the situation and judge if the relationship is right for you. Everyone experiences some level of anxiety when opening up to someone new.
Previous experiences can also impact your perception when starting new relationships. Sometimes freaking out is also another way of experiencing something exciting and new. Other times it could be that the relationship is moving too quicker than the pace you are expecting it therefore, causing you to feel unsettled or freaked out.
CaringPeach
on
Jul 15, 2020
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We all have our fair share of relationship stress, and how we deal with that, is an emotional strength and intelligence and the solution always should start with looking at ourselves first. We all need to look within and figure out who we are and where we come from with our feelings and intentions and only then we can deal with the other. Be strong, be kind and listen to your heart. Freaking out happens when we feel insecure or afraid, listen to that and find out why and then you can work trough it. Be brave, be strong and kind and believe in love.
Sav517
on
Aug 2, 2020
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Relationships can be quite worrisome. Often times when two people come together as one it takes time to bond and share experiences. A lot of relationship nerves stem down to one simple thing, the unknown. Being in the unknown can be scary but it is important to know its often only temporary. As time goes on and each individual contributes more to the relationship the unknown becomes less scary! The best way to overcome this fear or the relationship "butterflies" is to focus on good communication. Chances are if you and your partner have good communication the unknown becomes less scary.
Anonymous
on
Aug 22, 2020
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Perhaps relationships matter to you so much that you invest a lot of yourself into it, and when you find things upsetting, you would be easier to freak out? Because you dive too deep in it, so your emotions is closely tied with it too. But I think it is pretty normal to many, especially those who tend to pour out their genuine emotions with people. So when things don't go as expected you aren't sure how to cope with it. Then you freak out. But it's alright, this might not be entirely helpful but try invest more time on other matters in your life too, so when the relationship parts don't go well, you'll know that you still have other things to concern about, you world isn't crumbling.
Endure777
on
Sep 13, 2020
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We tend to let our emotions get the best of us at times. There are many reasons why someone would freak out during a relationship. Maybe you are having a fight or disagreement and neither of you know how to effectively communicate your issues to each other, maybe you're having a bad day. What is important is to learn how to identify when you are about to "freak out" and what is making you feel that way. It is always a good idea to get away from your partner for a while, go on a walk or go hang out with a friend or family member.
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