Why do I feel like I'm cheating on him still, even though we broke up months ago?
172 Answers
Moderated by Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner
Updated: Jul 6, 2023
Samanthax916
on
Oct 18, 2020
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Usually after breakups, you still feel that attachment that you had with the person because you are so used it. It's okay to feel this way. It just takes time to move on. You shouldn't rush things to make it go away. Especially if you think dating somebody else is going to take that feeling away. Learn how to heal and find your independence. Your worth is what matters. Once you've worked on yourself internally and became the best person you can be, you wouldn't feel the need to stay loyal to your ex lover. You wouldn't feel that attachment that became a routine for you. You can get through it just trust the process.
DarkPiT23
on
Nov 14, 2020
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The simple solution is to accept the reality that anything you and your ex had is now over, that your relationship with your ex is over and you should move on. Alternate solutions are to stop speaking to another girl, as if that's the cause for you feeling that way, stopping that behavior will likely stop that feeling. Or go back to your ex, which is what I'd guess is what you want to do and hence the reason why you feel this way. Maybe after your ex tells you that "it's over" for the Nth time you will finally realize it and that it's impossible to actually cheat on someone who you have really broken up with (not just a break, but a full break up). Accept the fact that your ex is exactly that. Your ex. Your past. Stop the denial. Maybe you secretly hope to get back with her without the two of you having lovers in between the break. If you go to someone new you then have to accept the fact that she will too or maybe has done so already!! She probably already did. They recover and move on faster than guys. She can get a tinder date one-night stand in as quickly as 15 minutes regardless if she’s pretty or not.
Move on brother. Life is short. Live the experience before it’s gone
Anonymous
on
Dec 9, 2020
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Maybe you just still feel connected to him. If your not together your not cheating so don’t worry or feel bad about it. You don’t own anyone any explanations. If your still talking or if he’s still in your life or maybe you just feel connected to him in a way you might be holding on to that. What your feeling isn’t abnormal. If he isn’t in your life any more and you want to get your mind of him or the break up try to focus on yourself, other relationships, or friends and family. Hope this helps you
Unlockingpanic69
on
Dec 31, 2020
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You clearly are displaying feelings for the individual this is part of the break up process it takes time depending on the length of the intimate relationship you were just in this will pass don’t worry your feelings will dissipate in so time this just means you had strong feelings at the time with that individual this is completely normal nothing to worry about what so ever so there should be no need to regret your moving on process you can’t cheat on something your not currently attached to this completely normal nothing to be afraid or ashamed of
Anonymous
on
Jan 6, 2021
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The reason why you might be feeling this way is because you might still have feelings for him. Perhaps you feel guilty for moving on nd leaving him behind even though you two aren't together. Sometimes when you breakup with someone you can end up still having feelings for that person so moving on can feel wrong, or you could be having a hard time excepting that you two broke up so in your mind being with someone else feels wrong or it feels like your cheating
bubblegumNarwhal3234
on
Jan 9, 2021
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Part of you still associates loyalty to this person, even though you aren’t together. Perhaps you feel guilt towards the situation? Or maybe you are struggling to adjust to being alone? You can put strategies in place to identify negative thoughts and feelings associated with moving on and accepting changes associated with learning to live a life without that person, even if it takes some time to get used to. You can do this, it’ll just take some getting used to. Perseverance is key in this situation, just trust the process, time is a healer. Give yourself time and be patient.
Anonymous
on
Jan 13, 2021
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it sounds like you are still experiencing negative thoughts on the breakup, even after it has ended. This may be for a number of reasons such as feelings of guilt or experiencing racing thoughts on the past which can be hard to let go of. Breakups can be hard and may take some time to move on however there is hope, this feeling will not last forever and will go away! Have you read the 7 cups forum linking to anxiety? it sounds like you may be feelings this from the past. Could you explain to me what makes you feel this way?
Anonymous
on
Feb 17, 2021
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Sometimes, even after the end of a relationship, we can feel residual loyalties to the people we were once committed to in that relationship. It's understandable that in the months following a break up, you might still feel a tendency to show deference to those previous loyalties. When we are loyal to a relationship for a time, it can be difficult to shake the mindset of being loyal to that relationship. Perhaps that has something to do with why you feel like you are cheating, when, in actuality, you are not, because the relationship has come to a close.
Anonymous
on
Mar 10, 2021
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Being devoted to a partner for a long time means agreeing to terms of the relationship which usually includes remaining faithful to that person. After separating, this feeling of devotion can still linger, even though you're no longer together. It's perfectly normal to feel that sense of 'guilt' when you choose to flirt, meet, love, or be with someone else. The important thing to remember is that the feeling of guilt is only residual from the past relationship, and there is no real reason to be guilty of moving on. You are not cheating if you move on after breaking up with a partner, it's okay and many others know the feeling
Anonymous
on
Apr 11, 2021
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when you say months exactly how many months has it been? sometimes it does take time to forget someone especially if you were together a long time. they do say that when you break up with someone it takes twice as long to forget them as it did to get to know them. are you actively dating other people? why does moving on make you feel like you are cheating on the other person? you have the right to move on from a previous relationship but if you find yourself not being able to move on from a relationship it may help you to seek professional help
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