Why do I always keep strong emotional attachments to the person that hurt me the most?

A lot of the responses are mentioning emotional vulnerability, and that is certainly true - when you are vulnerable to someone, you risk becoming hurt. However, I view this question as a bit more deeper than that - why do we return to someone who has hurt us, or stay with a partner who doesn't treat us the best? It's worthwhile to look into Attachment theory. Some people are used to insecure attachments in relationships, and fall into the trap of repeatedly entering relationships where the dynamic is not healthy. What ends up happening is that the person will try harder to receive affection. Anxiety and fear apparently can even create stronger attachment than secure relationships, but this all stems from an insecurity in the person pursuing the unhealthy relationship - something inside them says that they need the other person's validation to be worthwhile. It's a self esteem thing. See value in yourself and work hard on removing the need of external validation from a partner, and from there you will be able to spot and attract the good relationships and remove attachment from the worst.

Because sometimes, if you are used to being treated badly throughout your life you may well feel safer in that relationship than an unfamiliar one.

I guess that the person who CAN hurt us the most is always the person we love the most. As a consequence, when this person hurts you, you're still attached to him/her. The fact is that even if she/he is the one who CAN hurt you the most, he/she is not supposed to use this power against you. Maybe should you try to use reasons rather than feelings to tell your heart who it should be attached to.

Usually the main way people can hurt us the most is if we were really close to them at one point. At the moment, that person is hurting you the most but its possible there was a point that that person made you the happiest and you could be craving what used to be. You need to try and accept that that was in the past and accept what you guys are now.

There's research that suggests that there really is a fine line between love and hate: The same brain circuitry is involved in both extreme emotions. As such, it's no wonder that it's very common to have trouble cutting the cord. There's also a fear of starting over...we invest a lot of time, effort and emotion into forging relationships, and no matter how badly they go, we're reluctant to abandon that effort. Ultimately, we need to remember that we deserve to be treated with respect - if someone has proved they can't treat you right, then it's always an option to move on.

Sometimes, we hurt those who are closest to us because out of everyone, they are the ones that we believe will stay no matter what we do. Other times, people make mistakes. No one is perfect. We need to experience things for a reason. No one quite knows what the reason is, but we can use experiences to help grow and learn.

Perhaps it's because you shared many memories with them- they are a huge part of your past and it's always hard to let go of an important person- but it's very important to remove yourself from a toxic relationship.

It can be hard and scary to let go. It can be overwhelming to move on because you always feel like you'll be alone. Holding on to them however, will hurt you more in the long run.

When someone insults us, our ego and self-worth become hinged on their love and approval of us. As a result, we feel we need to try and prove ourselves to them to regain their love and approval. This is what happens in a manipulative chat-up tactic known as 'negging'. The man who likes an attractive woman will say something negative directly to her about one of her features or personality, and this is known to cause feelings of insecurity in the woman and give the man power over her, because she will try and win back his approval through taking an interest in him and flirting. In summary, when someone hurts us, they have a power over our ego and we feel we need to win back their love and approval by 'sucking up to them'. This doesn't need to be the case, you just need to realise it is happening and you need to find validation and a sense of worth through other means.

Depending on your situation, it could be a case of not getting what you want. As humans, you want what you can't have and sometimes the more someone hurts you the more you feel destroyed because you can't have them. It all goes back to "you want what you can't have". On the other hand, you may have a strong attachment to the person and who they were when you first met them. They may be hurting you but the image of them from before when they were good for you is the only thing you have in your head and you hope it will one day come back.