Why do I always blame myself for the breakup?

In a breakup there are two sides, both of them caused the breakup. It is impossible for the blame to be entirely on you, yet since you are most aware of your own actions it is easy to blame yourself, especially if you forgive the other side. Also, the second stage of grief is pain and guilt, and we often go through it in a breakup.

Its because I maybe trying to look for excuses to make up again with my partner, coming down a peg or two, to make him or her happy and forgiving.

Always remember the breakup was done for a reason and whatever the reason is respect it and move on. Blaming yourself for it is just a way for you to hold on and not move forward.

Try to remember that a relationship is something between two people. It is about how you shared your days and feelings. What I mean is that you are not the only one there, it was a change between What each of you could give To the other. Do not be so hard on yourself. There is no guilty, but maybe a dinamic which wasn’t working anymore. Life is about being constantly changing and dealing with all changes. And if gets difficult...For it, we listeners are here :) count on us.

It may be in your nature to find yourself at fault. Remember that the majority of relationships end. It will take a lot of trial and error to find the One. Each relationship gives you the experience you need.

We tend to do that, sometimes blaming ourselves is easier than accepting what really went wrong, its part of the denial, of the bargaining. We think, "maybe if I change this about me, maybe if I act this way, the person I love will come back". And the thing is, its not always that simple.

Do not fret about blaming yourself, because this is something we all do. Even if your partner did something that gives you every right to blame them for the breakup, we still find a way to put the blame on us because I think it is easier to comprehend things that way. The other person can give all the reassurances they want in the world in saying that it's not you, it's them (as cliché as it may be) but at the end of the day, we're still going to feel like it's our fault because a decision was made to cut a significant someone out of someone else's life. It's in our nature to blame ourselves

The reason why we choose to beat ourselves up after a breakup varies depending on the person and the relationship, however this usually leads down a path of low self-esteem and sadness. After ending a relationship it is common to look back and reflect upon the things that you would have done differently if you could look back. You may start to overanalyse things and this can lead to feelings of guilt. It is very likely that you don't want to blame the other person for the breakup and that you will end up comparing it to old breakups, looking at similarities and things that went wrong, but you tend to only focus on the things that you think you did wrong rather than looking at the whole picture.

People tend to always look back on almost anything and point out what they could’ve done better. They say hindsight is 20/20 but I believe it’s a lot worse than that. One of the biggest parts of moving on is learning how to accept your role in a relationship and to see beyond the self-doubt. No relationship is ever black-and-white rarely can it ever be just one person who caused the break up. In a relationship, it usually takes two to tango.

In any breakup, both people are responsible; you are responsible for your actions, and the other person is responsible for theirs. If you are taking credit for more than your own behavior, you're ignoring your former partner's ability to make choices for them self.