Why do I always blame myself for the breakup?

The first step is to accept your humanness -- neediness and insecurity are part of the human condition - and part of heartbreak. To reverse the self damage, actively engage in radical self acceptance -- accept yourself unconditionally, warts and all. Don't expect to be perfect. Perfectionism sets you up for self-disappointment -- an insidious form of self abandonment. One should stop looking to other people, including your ex, to validate your worth. You must do that yourself, especially at this painful time of heartbreak when the person you seek validation from has disposed of you. No one is responsible to make you secure, but YOU.

It can be tough not to blame yourself for a break-up and as long as you haven't done something terrible (i.e. cheated on your significant other), oftentimes it may be a mutual understanding. The thing with relationships is that it can be very tough to know exactly what''s going on in the other person's mind. You may oftentimes think that something you do is completely alright with the other person but in reality, it can cause turmoil. Usually, no one's at fault in a breakup and it's just a combination of losing interest in each other and wanting something else. That being said you can learn what worked and what didn't work and learn from that for the next relationship to hopefully improve the strength of it.

Usually when someone manilipates you or gaslights you, it can often feel like everything is your fault when it's really not. Sometimes you have such a great image on the other person so you never think that they did something wrong. There is a easy way to fix this, think about you telling a friend, or someone else about the situation. Would the other person say that it is your fault or the other person's fault. Blaming yourself is something that is very easy to do but I do not suggest it. And if you ever know that you caused a problem, I suggest you to learn and grow from it. life is all about taking experiences and either growing or learning from them. Thank you and ask any other additional questions here at 7 cups

First: Don't play the blame game on yourself, you may think the relationship ended because you did something wrong but it is normally a combo of both of your guys' mistakes. Just remember that everyone makes mistakes and every choice makes a consequence, good or bad. Second: Don't think about what happened too much, it will cause bad mental thoughts later. I suggest just finding something to do that will clear your head. If you can't, just think of the happy moments with your special other and think about how your next lover will be just as good/better. Once you think of all the good, then slowly think about what you can do better so you can adjust and go into your next relationship even stronger.

You blame yourself for a breakup because when it initially happens, you feel hurt and usually didn't want the relationship to end. You then search for ways to get back with your significant other and end up blaming yourself for not finding that way and then think it's your fault that you are no longer together. This is usually what happens when a good thing disappears or go bad. You get sad for a while and think about all the good you had and how it just ended. All this thinking leads to thoughts of whose fault it was that the breakup happened. Then you put the blame on yourself because you care about the other person too much to blame it on them.

Self-blame is a big loop in which we force ourselves to find a reason to blame ourselves. This loop grows way back to one's childhood where one's experiences has built up over many many incidents in which one finds himself/herself responsible for things happening. For eg. if parents will be having fight over me for not taking good care me, they will fight blaming each other but this fight which happens more frequently will code my brain in thinking that I am the one responsible for the fights of Mom Dad. And this will become my integral thinking pattern over all the other things that will happen in my life. It is true we are responsible for things that happens to us. But when we have this damaged trait of self blaming ourselves we just forget about everyone else actions that has lead to this outcome and think this has happened because of my actions. We see what we want to see. See yourself breaking this loop and finding a way to be really kind to yourself.

It's easy to blame yourself when things go wrong, whether it's in a relationship, at a job, at school. The examples could go on and on. You're the only person you have to see from the time you wake up in the morning until you go to bed. That makes it extremely easy to look in the mirror and say "Wow, this was my fault." You see all of your own actions and know why you did what you did. The same can't be said for your partner. So, it's easier to fixate on what you do know than to make assumptions about what you don't. None of this means it was your fault, and in reality, most breakups are mutual.

Sometimes, a way we find to cope with a breakup is to blame ourselves into thinking things could have gone differently. Think about it as you thinking how YOU could have made a difference, or act in a different way to avoid or prevent the problems you encountered along the way. We perhaps blame ourselves because we are the only ones capables of acting one way or the other. We Can see clearly if our actions would have been different how things would have been better, Hindsight. If you tend to think about your past actions you will surely encounter that you could have done things that you didnt do. The thing is, speaking rationally, you cannot help what you did or didnt do in the past. Your only option is to learn from what happened to be able to think critically in the future about this same situations in the case they happen again. Is understandable that you can hold yourself accountable from what you did, so it becomes a "clear" path of thinking, a simple way to think, "things went wrong because i did this thing wrong" When in reality relationships are complicated, and most likely you two were not meant for eachother for a multitude of reasons. you didnt get along well enough and that was it. You blame yourself because is a simple enough explanation for why things didnt work out, Low self-confidence will get you there usually. Reality is usually much more complicated than the simple answers ourselves like so much.

I think it’s easy for people to blame themselves because they care too much. They spend their days trying to move on and then a simple trigger can bring back good memories and then the process starts all over again. I feel as though the people who blame themselves are spending their whole days trying to move on and grieving while their ex partner is going on with their life and not letting it effect them, they have already moved on. The hardest part of grieving after a break up is the memories, because there are so many triggers that we didn’t realize were there, they are in are everyday life and then that’s when we think, ‘If I would have done this, I still would be with them’. But we need to think, is our ex partner beating themselves up too?

Based on my personal experience I blamed myself for everything but looking back sometimes things separate so better things come forward. I think you may be blaming yourself for the breakup because you love that person. It can be really difficult to process a breakup so I can completely sympathise with these thoughts. Self blame can be really hard in general. Along with negative automatic thoughts. Negative automatic thoughts (nats) are what everyone experiences. We have a thought, which turns into an action and behaviour. We can break these nats by when having a negative thought replacing it with a positive one and accepting the thought. This is what I was told I truly believe it can help. Its a CBT technique.