Why do I always blame myself for the breakup?

It's so much easier to blame ourselves. At least for me, when I have strong feelings for my partner, it's so much easier to think of my own faults, question everything I said or did than it is to think of their flaws and mistakes. I also think it's easier to blame myself if I'm hoping to learn something from the breakup? Breakups are so hard and to find peace with them, I often feel like I have to learn something from them and in that case, I'm usually thinking of what I did wrong and how I could do better in future relationships.

what happens when you lose something you love is that you start searching for reasons and mostly you start by searching for it in you which isn’t a bad thing and you can learn a lot about you and your future choices but if you are not taking care of you and your emotions well it is easy to go from self learning to self-blame, you can also go to breakup training on seven cups which has explained a lot about how to come over a breakup and how to control its resaults on how you feel about you and your future plans!!

The tendency to blame oneself for the breakup derived from lack of self-esteem. From my experience, it is a painstakingly challenging period where you would be constantly thinking what went wrong. I discover having support system such as trusted friends and listeners would ease the process better. I can’t make life better but I can try making myself better. You can’t change how things are in the past but you can try dealing how you perceive the whole situation. It is hard but you need time to heal. So, take one step at a time and remember, you matter.

I don't think you should blame yourself for the breakup or anything... Just because the relationship didn't work doesn't mean it's your fault... It actually just means it wasn't the right relationship for you... The right relationship would come, although it might take awhile to find it but it would come... Don't blame yourself anymore it's going to hurt you more than help you ☺️ 😊... Engaging in other things can help take your mind of a breakup and mostly at ease and when you feel better too doesn't mean you jump to another relationship you have to make sure it's the right one🙂

Breakups are tough, and more often than not when the breakup happens you find yourself looking back and remembering only the good things. Breakups aren’t always a fault of someone, and sometimes a relationship just runs it’s natural course. Breakup affect your self esteem and that’s usually why you’ll end up blaming yourself, wondering what more you could have done etc. Try to see it for what it really is, and that both parties were involved. It may be that you’re just hurt and confused and looking for someone or something to blame, but don’t automatically blame yourself for it, find a healthy way of coping with it instead.

I think this is true of many of us. A lot of times I think this stems from holding ourselves to too high of standards and expecting too much of ourselves. Instead maybe try not to blame anyone and take a step back and look at the relationship from each angle. You will usually find it's a little bit of each parties " fault" that the relationship ended. Maybe there were some arguments that weren't handled well on either end, maybe there wasn't enough communication as to what each person wanted in the relationship. The point is, don't beat yourself up over the past. Only look to it as a way to learn and to do better in the future.

People blame themselves for a brake up because they believe they aren’t good enough. It is harder to imagine that someone you loved is not emotionally mature, kind, or loving. People also forget that it takes two people for a relationship to work. People sometimes end a relationship instead of put in the hard work of relating to each other. There are many factors that go into a relationship. In the end, do your best, be kind & true to yourself. Treat yourself with as much respect as you give others & expect respect In Return. Everyone deserves love, but many do not know how to show it, Express it or give it.

Please try to identify to good deeds and accomplishments over the years and that will help you see value in yourself. Everytime this question pops in your mind remind yourself that nobody is perfect and relationships are not a single person's responsibility. If you were tru and honest with your words and actions there will be no reason to blame yourself. We need to remind ourselves that self doubt should be progressive and not damage self-confidence. If relationships have not worked out in the past an optimistic way to look at the situation could be to realise that there is more scope to explore.

I’m sorry you’re struggling with these feelings. I’ve felt this way in the past too. I’ve learned there are a few reasons we choose to blame ourselves for breakups. One is control. We want to control our hurt or anger and blaming ourselves let’s us feel more in control. Another reason is a deeply seated sense of worthlessness, some people call it shame. If you can sit with your own thoughts for a moment, do either of these, or something else, ring true? Honestly naming what you’re facing is powerful to being conquering it. Why do you think you blame yourself in these situations?

No matter what, blaming yourself for situations keeps you unhappy because you feel like you have no control. When we move past blame, we are able to take responsibility and release the guilt attached to self-blame. If you punish yourself or others for mistakes, then these tips can help. Firstly look at the bigger picture, trust yourself and reframe what you should do. Every situation we experience is part of a bigger plan. When you can look at setbacks and opportunities for growth, life becomes easier and there is less pressure. Look at the blessing in each lesson. Instead of blaming yourself for a situation, look for the silver lining. Ask yourself: what could this situation teach me?