Why did I waste so long in an abusive relationship? Why was I not brave enough to walk away?

Abusers work very hard to make you think that the relationship is normal and the best you're going to get, and that you're crazy and selfish for wanting anything better. Even if you start out completely healthy and strong and feeling great about yourself, this is going to wear you down and make you doubt yourself. Also, the longer you stay, the more normal it will start to seem, even if it upsets you and even when you know that individual things they do are crazy and out of line. And of course they also do their best to scare you into staying. It's really not surprising at all that people stay, especially considering the number of abusers who stalk and even murder their exes.

I believe that there are so many reasons here. Maybe you just held hope, the hope that was deep inside you, thinking it would not happen again. Maybe it was love, you thought the one you fell in love, and saw at first might come out. Maybe it was impossible, Impossible for you to walk away, you thought. But you overcame it, controlled yourself, and walked away. Now just put a smile on your face and walk forward, to YOUR future. Good luck! :)

We all ask ourselves this question. I was in an abusive relationship for three years. We all ask why we stayed, why didn't we leave? It is because we wanted to believe the person whenever they said they wouldn't do it again or we worried if we did leave how would we pay our bills, what would happen to our animals, what would happen to our kids? It's a struggle. IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU WERE NOT BRAVE. You were brave. You were always brave.

They always say hindsight is 20/20. You may not have realized that the relationship was so abusive while you were in it. Abusive behaviors may have just been accepted as normal in that relationship. The important thing is that you realize now that it was abusive and that gives you something to learn from. As for not being "brave" enough.. when you've been abused by someone who has your trust it can be tremendously hard to build up the courage to leave. When you had the courage, you left, and that shows how strong you really are.

It sounds like you are talking about a relationship in the past tense, which suggest that you did in fact have the courage to walk away. Good for you! Sometimes it takes awhile to see that a relationship is unhealthy.

Abusive relationships are complex things that effect us physically, emotionally and mentally. They deplete us of our strength, make us doubt everything about ourselves. It was not a question of not being brave, and the time was not wasted if you learned some of the warning signs of an abusive person and know what to look for in the future.

You feltlike you could change that person, that they was special enough to change, and then you felt like if you left you wouldn't be able to find someonelse. Were always afraid to let go that part of ourselves that not needed anymore.

The fact that you did walk away means you are braver than you ever knew. It can be so hard to get out of those toxic situations, and so hard to know what to do after. Now you can look forward to the future.

Relationships are shades of gray. We would all like to ideally think that one situation will definitely lead to an instant break up. But once we're in a relationship, it is much harder to let go of someone who you also share good moments with. Being in a relationship also makes it harder to decide on certain issues, such as a breakup, and there may be manipulation involved in the other party. I know that it hurts looking back on things that you wished you could've changed, but we are all only human, and the best things we can do is handle future relationships differently. Don't blame yourself.

People when they are in long typically only see the good in their other! It is hard to do the right thing when you're madly in love with them!