Why can't I learn to open up to people?

It probably is because you have had experience of betrayal before which led you to become more cautious of talking about sensitive topics with others in fear of them telling others and/or making fun of you. You could try making some online friends anonymously and practice opening up to them because these online friends do not know you in person and won't be able to spread any rumors or tell anyone else that you know about your conversations. And since they are online friends, if they start to make you uncomfortable, you could just ghost them and never talk to them again :)

Some people are just private people. We live in a world where oversharing is the norm. If your struggle to open up is negatively affecting your close relationships, that can be a real struggle. My husband is a quiet, shy, private fellow while I am loud, talkative, and tend to accidently overshare. It embarrasses him sometimes because I am willing to say, "I feel like I am failing as a....(insert struggle here)" He will pull me to the side and ask why I told someone that. Because it does not make me uncomfortable. I had to learn not to expect him to be like me. The question you need to ask yourself is, "Why don't I like to open up to people?" For my husband, constant betrayal and a hard life made him leery of telling someone something that might make him look weak or vulnerable. Others just feel a fear of rejection. Others have no one that they trust that way. Opening up to someone is not like learning mathematics or to ride a bike. It's an interpersonal skill that has to be learned organically. It cannot be forced. If there is someone you trust explicitly, I would challenge you to tell them one thing that is bothering you. They may react in a way that builds your confidence to open up again later.

Ah, this is a poignant question. I am currently very much in the throes of trying to open myself up to others after coming to the realisation that despite being close to my family and friends, I am completely unable to tell them when something has negatively affected me unless it is debilitating enough that I have no other choice. I was made aware of this when, after having been struggling with depression for years, I made an offhand comment about liking sad music to which my mother responded with puzzlement: "You feel sad? When?". I felt that to bring up that I wasn't feeling well in conversation would make me a 'downer', and I just never knew when the right time to say something was. I just didn't want to be a burden. But I have realised that in doing so, I was just pushing people away. I was neglecting the people I care about of vital parts of myself, and if you aren't feeling well then it is never a burden to a friend (or listener) to help, or at least listen. I want to be better at this communication, and finally worked up to asking for therapy, where you have no choice but to talk and open up. Practice in sharing these intimate parts of ourselves is the only way we can become more comfortable with sharing.

It’s by practice. One day I was like you, I wasn’t able to open up to people, I felt shy and I didn’t feel I trust them enough to talk to them. Although that was how I feel but I was dreaming of having friends and people who I can open up to and I was dreaming of having close friends who I can enjoy time with. Now, I am much better because I forced myself the first few times to talk out loud, to say what is in my mind, to not be afraid of rejection, to show my own personality that I am confident about as long as I am not hurting anyone or abusing them. It’s all about you, practice and go out of this fear because you are stronger than it. Good luck

Opening up to people can be extremely challenging and takes time and trust, especially if you have had previous negative experiences when opening up to people. Although not being able to open up to people may be frustrating, you should never feel pressured into it or feel shame for not being able to. You should share what you feel comfortable with and with who you feel comfortable with, which may be a friend or a listener here on 7 cups. Just remember you should never feel shame about opening up and with time and practice it will get easier.

You can learn to open up to people. Sometimes it takes time and that's okay. To open up to people it's good to start with someone you truly trust. Or even opening up to yourself first. Journaling is a great way that helped me learn to be honest with myself. Many people struggle with not opening up to people, and it can be hard to start. Feeling stuck is normal. You are not alone on this journey. Your feelings are valid. People are there to support you, and help you on your journey to being more open with yourself and others. We believe in you.

Vulnerability is not easy to have. We fear being judged or maybe showing a weakness because we don't want to seem less than the expectations set for us by ourselves or others. Opening up to people takes trust and confidence in yourself. It's possible you are afraid for reasons that you would know best- based on your experiences in life that have you feeling you need to protect yourself or others from your feelings or emotions. It takes strength to open up to others but building strength takes time and patience. Consider working on self esteem and building your support network in life with people you feel you can lean on and share with- without fear.

In my opinion, opening up to another person takes courage, empathy, and vulnerability. 1st, I would highly suggest communication with the person that you are most comfortable with. The first person that comes to mind when you think "Person most comfortable with." Openly tell them that you want to practice opening up more about yourself (all things included) and that you would like to share more about yourself with them. For better or worst, for example; If you have a bad tendency towards that person or in general, i.e. lude thoughts, past aggressions, etc. about/with them or someone you both know or lude thoughts/past aggressions/etc. about other things in general, life views (your own personal life philosophy; what standards are set by you that you live by), behaviors, habits, and/or traits. I would try to find the right time/moment (when you feel the time is right) to discuss inner layers of yourself openly do so. In most cases, where opening up to another person is on a neutral to positive disposition, the person you naturally selected will immerse in communication with therefore providing the title of opening up. I also find that depending on the nature of the bad tendency towards the person (I.e. In my opinion worst-case scenario, you secretly killed someone they know or a family member of theirs this will trigger an unlikely neutral or positive response.) in response to minor negative dispostions, they may respond indifferent but will 75% of the time engage in communication on the subject. For example, I have had some open up to me about their dispostion on date rape. Upon hearing this my response was informative and suggestive from a place of neutral concern of the overall disposition/situation. Understand that no one should be hear to judge you unless you are standing in the court of law. One should always abide the laws that protect us and we should not engage in criminal activity. If for example, this is in answer to "why can't I open up to women/men/etc.?" I would suggest applying the same rules above but rather with a family member that is a motherly/fatherly/parental figure to you. Spend some time with them open up about things you never have before and listen to there experience of life to propell your own, understanding, compassion and empathy. Discuss family things you never had the opportunity to. Take these steps and reaproach the desired for a second take on opeing up. Openning up in general, be confident in yourself don't be afraid of what anyone thinks, always be ready to communicate and accept others views and ready in discussing your own. Readiness and willingness in understanding one another through communcation is the continum for able readiness to open up. I believe there is a continuance to the answer of this question in the layers of specific possibilities. If asked in person I only hope to be ready in what life experience I have to support the most decisive answer. Stay well and stay postive and confident!

Us humans learn to keep to ourselves because of what other people did to us. It’s like a coping mechanism. We just shut down and keep to ourselves because we are of scared of what might happen. Most people use it against us when the friendship or relationship is at its lowest and that’s what we are scared of. Or when they tell someone else. That’s when someone loses our trust. So we normally just keep to ourselves which is harmful to our mental health because we can not trust anyone anymore. It is kinda when you think about it