Why are we fighting over small and stupid things?

Possibly because you aren't looking in their prospective as well, try seeing a counselor to try to figure this out as well.

Because your relationship is either so great that you don't have anything big to fight over, OR, and actually worse, you are looking for reasons to pick at each other because there are inadequacies you notice in each other that are bothering you, and rather than confronting each other on what they are you half unknowingly cover them up by fighting over the small stupid things

From my personal experience many times when we are faced with a problem we tend to vent out even at the smallest things in life that has absolutely no importance for example if I'm making a sandwich and somebody accidentally puts Tomatoes when I have said I don't like tomatoes how hard is it to just simply remove the tomatoes from the sandwich. Many times we take things too critical when we need to just learn to relax

Well, maybe another question that needs to be brought up is, are you guys fighting over the right stuff? The important things? Maybe, is the fighting over the small stuff a way to dodge other things?

To us, these "small and stupid things" are actually "important" to us so we tend to fight over them.

Exactly. Small and stupid things might mean a lot when it doesn't seem like it. But fighting over it isn't the right thing to do at all.

Sometimes when we fight over small or stupid things, it is not over the thing itself but instead something that we are trying to prove to the person we are fighting with. The item itself can get lost in the fight When we struggle to exert dominance and power over the other person through fighting about something that is small, mynute, and insignificant. At times we can even get so caught up in the fight we forget what we are fighting for. Allowing ourselves to step back and realize what the real problem is can open our eyes to the fact that what we are fighting over should not be the issue, resolving our frustration with the person we are fighting with should be.

That is a very good question. I am not sure exactly why. I have a habit of doing this. My roommates and I have a tendency to argue over the stupidest littlest things, these always seem to be the things that trip us up. I myself believe that the reason we fight over the small stuff is because those are the issues that are always the ones that are always right there in our faces, there's always some little things that get on our nerves and we just kinda snap. Remember it's the little day to day stuff that is always in our faces.

Those small things are important to you and the other person, be it something with a show or movie or even a little hobby of yours. If they're offending you in some way, and you're not okay with it, then that gives you the right to say something in return, as long as it isn't vile or malicious. People sometimes don't think they're being harmful to another until it's pointed out and it's not surprising the get defendant for being wrong. As long as you approach them in a calm way and try to help them see that what they're saying is wrong or disrespectful, then there should be no reason as to why you shouldn't point it out to them.

Growing up, I always considered myself to be argumentative. Quick with a sarcastic comment and even quicker to get angry, I rarely backed down from an argument. This didn’t translate well in my early romantic relationships and I found myself arguing incessantly with the men I dated. I would like a guy a lot, but if we didn’t agree on something then we would go at it. In my (weak) defense, the men I dated seemed argumentative too. Some guys are much too laid back to bicker with their girlfriends or anyone else for that matter, but I rarely dated these types of men (and if I did then I must have pulled them past their limit). The weird thing is, I hate arguing. But I thought that was what couples did. Before my parents divorced, they argued all the time. So much so, that when they divorced, I wasn’t even sad. I was thankful for the peace. As I got older, I realized that there are people in functional relationships who are not arguing all the time. so you are probablaly fighting over the small things because there are bigger things hiding.