Spying on ex's social media - since my breakup I can't stop from monitoring. Is that okay?

It's not a healthy thing to do if you're looking to get over a breakup. It's hard to let go but it would be better for you to stop and disconnect yourself from a person.

Not being able to stop something, feeling out of control is a sign of a problem. It is not a particularly unusual problem but it is a problem.

why do you feel the need to spy on your ex? It is important to remember to respect others privacy as you would like your own respected

It is natural enough to continue revealing interet in life of a person, who has been important and close to you. You should meet new people, acquire new interests and the ex's life will be gradually loosing its importance for you.

It's normal that after a break up you would always search him. But as days go by, keep yourself busy and you would notice that you don't look at his page as often as you used to.

It's normal, but not okay. I just went throught that. I saw her Fb account regularly too see how she was doing. But look, in the end by doing that, we just hurt ourselves. I got over it by talking to her and getting closure. Most people won't consider talking to their ex for closure... But hey! It worked for me. Just know, that in the end the most important thing is to focus on yourself.

It's normal. If it's okay -- then that's another story. If you get that twist in your gut every time you open up your ex's page, then (speaking from experience), it's not healthy. Especially when you start monitoring who likes what, and his new friends, and all other minutiae -- it was an unhealthy obsession in my case. I started comparing myself from his facebook friends whom I suspect was the "new me" and it made me feel really bad. Like questioning my self-worth bad. When I finally caught myself feeling this way, I forced myself to stop. This was a hard, conscious decision I had to make. The clincher was that I was hurting myself by stalking him, and it was so unfair of me to do that to myself, I decided I needed to respect and love myself more.

Oh gosh.. I'm the world's WORST about that. I did that with pretty much all of my ex's... I think it's normal. It's normal to wonder about their life, since they were once such a big part in your own life. It's normal to want to "check thangs", as I call it. Some will say it's unhealthy, and that you should just block them and move on... But there will come a point that you check less and less, and you'll know when you're ready to be done. In my experiences, it's better to let time do its thing, and not just block them off the bat if you're not comfortable with that yet. You'll drive yourself mad wondering what's going on with them if you don't let it happen naturally.

I understand how it may be difficult to stop keeping track of an ex lover, but you can and will find someone new and you can do it!

It is okay to look once in a while but only (maximum once a month or less) for the sake of curiosity. Looking obsessively prevents you from moving on and starting the emotional healing process. Spending all your time looking at their life prevents you from living your own life.