Separated for 6 years, divorced 2 weeks, she is preparing to move out for the fourth time and can't figure out why I can't move on. Am I crazy, or is she completely oblivious to the obvious?
2 Answers
Moderated by Smita Joshi, BA Psychology / MA / Advanced EFT Practitioner
Updated: Apr 26, 2022
Anonymous
on
Nov 9, 2020
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I think you have to remember, what's obvious to one person may not be the obvious to others. So the question for me would be, what do you find so obvious about this situation? To me, the only obvious thing seems to be that there is some issue between the two of you that you cannot resolve despite numerous breakups and reconciliations. It doesn't matter how many times you get back together, if that issue is never resolved, you'll never stay together for very long as it will always be there, waiting to pull the relationship apart. And maybe, for her, she doesn't see there being any possibility for resolving it, so the obvious thing for her is to move on.
empathear83
on
Apr 26, 2022
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Marriage or relationships in general bond two people together so walking away or moving on isn’t that easy. You’ve spent time with this person so there was a routine established at the very least. Moving on is literally changing what you have gotten used to and that is no easy task. If this is her fourth time moving out then she is having a tough time as well. It seems like you both are having difficulty moving on and maybe that warrants a deeper conversation. It’s clear that you still care about eachother. But if you both are ultimately breaking up for good then someone has to make the move otherwise your prolonging the inevitable.
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