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My long-term boyfriend told me that my mental health has affected him and he just wants to be friends as though nothing more ever happened. This really hurts me. What should I do?

Profile: Sasha21caprihan
Sasha21caprihan on Aug 22, 2020
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I think you should take it as opportunity to analyse yourself and your emotions without any additional pressure of upholding a relationship. It is a great way to preserve your energy that was being spent on constantly trying to protect the relationship from falling apart and channelize it towards your own growth and healing. In order to be in a healthy long term relationship, self worth and patience are two most important features and both of these are built on a foundation of a healthy mind. Therefore, it is essential to cater to your mental health leaving aside the worries of withholding a relationship that is too fragile to bear the stress of you illness. And once you are all better, you'll see that the ones who meant to stay, in fact never left your side and were right there throughout while you were healing, and the ones you find are gone, well, they were never meant to stay anyway.
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Profile: mayathepapaya
mayathepapaya on Sep 11, 2020
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it totally is not your fault. Everyone needs space, even the people who are closest to us. It may hurt when they tell us they need their own space, it is common and normal to be upset by something like this. When you look on the bright side, you see that you now have your own space to grow and improve your mental health. You can also reach out to other friends who feel comfortable listening to you express yourself and who want to help you. Please do not place blame on yourself for this. This can be an opportunity to grow!
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Oct 10, 2020
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I understand that relationships can be tough. We all go through the ups and downs of difficult relationships in life. We place so much value on these important people in our lives and when expectations go unfulfilled it always leaves a hole in our lives where they used to be. I appreciate your willingness to share your feelings and that is a wonderful way to begin new relationships. It would appear to me that he values the relationship and the time you both shared together because he still wants to remain friends going forward. Protecting your emotional well-being should be paramount in this situation. You appear to have a clear awareness of your feelings which can help you to set boundaries. What can you do to be ok with this going forward?
Profile: DarkPiT23
DarkPiT23 on Oct 17, 2020
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Listen to him, respect his opinions. he is mentally exhausted and needs time from multi-tasking. Give him space. And ask him to vent it will surely help him relieve stress and will help u understand him deeply and directly, if he doesn't want to, then surely give him space that he needs the most but do not isolate him cuz it might affect his position. We all need someone to speak to about the burden we carry, but we always have to remember that the most basic things that take to listen are patience and empathy, no matter how much the opposite person is rude to you. because we don't know what they are dealing with, try to cool head down and understand the circumstances even if he feels that you are not trustworthy enough to be said respect his opinions and do not take as an offense, it will only hurt you later, try to understand his and your position too. Because sometimes what happens is that we are not even in our stable conditions but we go and help our loved ones sacrificing our feels, later it results in us being hurt, do not load yourself too much for someone's happiness who can' get enough of you or doesn't value you.
Profile: amazingCandy4012
amazingCandy4012 on Oct 22, 2020
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You can first sit and discuss about what he feels. What he thinks exactly the problem is. And atleast on your part, try not to get angry or triggered throughout most part of the discussion. If it still doesn't sort out there, ask him to go to a therapist with you and sort out the problems there. This will show him that you are putting efforts for either solving the problems of atleast coming to a middle ground. If he see that you putting efforts to work on your problems in this way, he will try for the relationship from his side too
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Nov 26, 2020
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Being honest always helps; tell him how it makes you feel. Have a friendly conversation with him, without arguing; both of you have to feel okay about opening up to each other and showing your true emotions. Both sides also have to be understanding as your long-term boyfriend got affected by your mental health, and he should also be understanding as you have mental health, which is normal, but he should also be more considerate of you. It can be challenging for both of you as both of you were in a relationship for a long time. Hope this helps!
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Dec 25, 2020
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First of all, thank you for the question, 7cups is here to listen to you. You are not responsible for what others feel about you, sometimes we try our best to put ourselves in a position to make others feel comfortable but it does not work every time, does it? He is your partner and here I would consider him as your well-wisher as well, next thing you can do is talk to him about what is it that bothers him related to you. Talking and opening up with your partner could make a big difference. You have tried your best to support him and you expect him to support you as well, so it's not a big deal. You stay strong and if in the case at the end he decides to keep his distance allow him to do that and I hope he would understand your value.
Profile: bubblegumNarwhal3234
bubblegumNarwhal3234 on Jan 9, 2021
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If he can be friends with you but not in a relationship, it seems as though your mental health isn’t the primary issue. Maybe take a break from the relationship and see how that goes for both of you. Never feel guilty for your mental health, you cannot control it. Have you been to see a doctor to discuss your mental health and accessed materials available to support good management of mental health? That could be a good option for you to begin your journey to a better state of mind, but remember, you only need to focus on yourself right now.
Profile: Goodminds17
Goodminds17 on Jan 21, 2021
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I can imagine that you are feeling very hurt which is understandable due to this situation, some people do not understand mental illness to know how to deal or help those who suffer with it. I cannot give advice on what to do but I hope you can learn that your mental health is very important in your life and it needs to be looked after no matter what it takes! Maybe you could consider taking time to think about what can help your mental health, your triggers and how you feel better about it too.
Profile: SirenSymphony21
SirenSymphony21 on Jan 29, 2021
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I am sorry to hear that he justs want to be friends with you even after you guys being romantically involved as though nothing happened. I think it would be better to let him go. I know it is not easy. It is never going to be. But imagine holding on to this guy as a rope. The tighter you hold, the more it will be painful. Once you let go off the rope, your hand will burn for a few minutes or even hours for that matter. But it will definitely heal with time. Trust me on this.
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