It’s been 6/7 years but i’m still not over my first love. I find myself wanting to see him and thinking of him when intimate with my life partner. What should I do?
3 Answers
Moderated by Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC
Updated: May 4, 2020
Anonymous
on
Jun 14, 2018
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Sometimes we reflect back on past relationships with rose-tinted glasses and we only remember the good times. It is important to also remember that there was a reason that things didn’t work out and be able to find some closure in order to move forward. We never forget our past but we need to be able to reflect on it in an unbiased way and take lessons away from past events. If you are unhappy with your current partner (based solely on his merits and not your reflections on the past) then that is one thing...but if you are letting your inability to let go of the past spoil a perfectly good relationship, then it may be worth having some personal counselling in order to find a way to enjoy the happiness you could have here in the present
TenderAngel46
on
Jan 7, 2020
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Its normal to think of our first love, I'm sure you have many good memories. Our first love teaches us a lot about ourselves and life, would you like to talk about those memories? Sometimes I think about my first love when with my life partner, they are good memories from the past. What memories have you made with your partner, would you like to share those. How do you feel about the thoughts you have concerning your first love? Maybe your life partner and first love have similar actions, that could trigger these thoughts what do you think? As I said it's normal to think of your first love at times
peaceangel22
on
May 4, 2020
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It's normal to feel this way, after all, emotions can only be controlled to a certain extent. First loves can be complex, intimidating and hard to forget. Perhaps, you should inform your partner about your feelings and talk to them about it. You could also seek some closure from your ex-lover, or just talk it out with them to understand where it all went wrong. However, acceptance is key, here. Once you deal with your emotions, face them, accept them and move on, only then can you move forward, in life. If you don't truly love your current partner, then it isn't right to leave them hanging and messing with their emotions just because you're unsure about yours.
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