I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years and he spoke to me today to tell me I'm not the girl he fell in love with when he first met me and that I completely changed for the worse. Any thoughts?
3 Answers
Moderated by Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC
Updated: Jan 5, 2021
gentleAngel15
on
Mar 18, 2020
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Your in a horrible place right now, I guess quite confused as well, Its not nice when some one else tells you this, do you feel you have changed within your relationship? Have you drawn apart, is there kids involve? a range of emotions could be going on now with both yourself or your partner/ its probably best to talk with your other half and arrange to tell each other how you both truly feel. This is why the only way its gonna resolve the issues that you both may have- if he feels you have changed for the worse ask for more reasons why and what you have done? as i said previously for you both to repair the relationship you need to communicated.
Marzia
on
Mar 20, 2020
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When people are hurt, they sometimes say things out of sadness or anger. Sometimes these things are thoughts that they do genuinely mean, and sometimes they are not and are designed to provoke negative self-thoughts or guilt/remorse. Regardless of this, your ex boyfriend's opinion of you should not change your self-worth at all as long as you feel that you are the best version of yourself that you can be. It is normal for people to change, especially over the course of three years. No matter how old you are, we are constantly adapting and changing as individuals. Sometimes this is for the better, and sometimes it is not. As long as you feel that you are progressing positively as a person, you should not take these comments to heart and let them turn into negative thoughts about yourself.
Anonymous
on
Apr 27, 2020
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That is understandable, and based off of observation people change all of the time. It would almost be a little unnatural if we didn't change or transform in one way or another. Although the version you are today may not be the person he first fell in love with, you might love this version of yourself more now than you had before. It also seems like you guys grew apart. You grew in a different direction than they did. Your partner could be hurt that you have been able to make a change and maybe they haven not been able to do the same for themselves.
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