I broke up with him even though I do love him and he loves me. I had to! How can I move on from someone I can't find a reason to hate?
Greatlistener87
on
Jun 23, 2016
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You have to see it as there was a reason for the breakup and whatever you guys did is for the better for the both of u guys. So the only way to move on from here is to be happy that you did the right thing in the given situation :)
ClausAlf
on
Jul 1, 2016
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I totally understand you... I went through something very similar this past year. I guess I had to learn that I don't need to hate a person or feel disrespected by that person to move on. The relationship came to an end because of a certain reason. I had to honor that reason, respect myself and respect the other person.
I know it's hard to move on when you still don't see any bad in the other person... I mean... when you still put that person on a pedestal, kind of. So I guess the only thing one can do is wait and get involved in some projects to take one's mind out of that place... Just refocus on you and on what you can do to make yourself feel good without being with that person and learn to love yourself (if you don't already). =)
Anonymous
on
Aug 7, 2016
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You don't need to hate him to move on, Just move on because you did your best, and who know? maybe life is hiding someone so much better for you.
Anonymous
on
Dec 27, 2020
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Sometimes in life, we meet people who we really connect with, but we cannot be in a relationship with them. It sounds like you and your ex-boyfriend love each other but you two broke up due to some fundamental differences. When we think of love, we often think that we have to be with that specific person in order to be happy. However, letting that person go can also be a form of love. By letting that person go, we are saying "I love you enough that I want you to find happiness with someone other than me." You do not have to hate someone for you to break up with them. Sometimes, irreconcilable differences are enough of a reason to leave a relationship, because you two people are not on the same page.
amazingJewel99
on
Dec 13, 2017
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There must have been a reason for your breakup if not hatred. This happens at times. Sometimes, some people are not meant to be, no matter how perfect they could be with each other. Accept facts and be ready to move on. Yes, it is going to be really hard for both of you. But remember- life is never perfect, sometimes it can be mean. Not just for you, but for all. If not this, something else is bothering everyone at some point of time. So, be ready to accept facts and move on. If life was perfect there won't be any reason for happiness. Take care :)
kindrose302
on
Jul 2, 2016
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Try to remember the reason that you guys broke up in the first place, and try to distract your self with hanging out with your friends.
SmileIsPretty
on
Aug 20, 2016
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You don't need to hate someone to move on. You just need to start loving, someone else. Basically replace him.
It sounds super harsh but it's much easier way to explain it.
Just look for what was wrong in him, Look for what is good in other guys. Never compare others and him.
It's never good.
Just find someone else you might j like just as well to keep from thinking of "him".
LilSun
on
Dec 2, 2016
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That for sure can be a tough and tricky situation to deal with. If you've had a solid reason, like I believe you have since you've said you HAD to break up, then make sure you remember that reason. And every time you think about him or you want to talk to him or get back with him, remember your reason and why is it important and why it caused you to break up in the first place. It sure will be tough, especially because you two love each other still but it all depends on how solid your reason for break up is. Starting from there, you can "train" yourself and your mind and be more confident in the decision you've made.
Anonymous
on
Jul 15, 2016
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You dont have to hate someone to move on .Tell yourself that it was for the best nd u love eachother
MakenaPatterson
on
Aug 5, 2016
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Take some time for yourself, literally. Act like you're going on a retreat. Pamper yourself. Splurge. Spend time getting to know your body.
EveryInkspots
on
Jul 14, 2016
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Find yourself doing more things, go out with friends, enjoy the company you have with them, read a book, write, paint, draw. Find something that fulfills you as it he did with you. Find a new hobby like photography who knows you might find a hidden talent you didn't know about
MachineGKyla
on
Oct 5, 2016
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I've been through that too, My bf broke up with me even though he said he still loved me. It won't be easy, but you'll move on eventually. Maybe ask him if he still wants to be friends
GentleForest3103
on
May 21, 2020
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It can be really difficult to move on from a relationship no matter the circumstances of the breakup, and its even more difficult when there was no particular cause. You mentioned that you had to break up with this person? It might help to write down a list of the reasons why you felt it necessary to break up. Sometimes these reasons can be simple - "we never had time to see each other", for example. Other times, they can be complicated - for instance, you might have simply felt 'off' when you were around them. It is perfectly possible to love someone and still feel as though you cannot fully be yourself around them. Following such a gut feeling and going through with a break up may be difficult, but if it makes you feel more at peace, then it might be the right choice for your own circumstances.
Naturallyhappy00
on
Jul 15, 2016
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The best way to move on is to focus on yourself and figure out your happiness it going to be hard for awhile you can always be friends
ChrisBr
on
Jan 19, 2018
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I think you should just accept the fact that you two shared something beautiful and that there shouldn't be a reason for you to hate him to end it, because if you did, that reason could also effect your memories you two shared once. Just leave it as it was, and remember once in a while that something beautiful as this happened some point in your life, much love!
AlaynaFonseca
on
Jan 24, 2018
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I recently dealt with this issue in my life and yes it is extremely hard, but knowing that it was best for the both of you and right now isn’t a good time to be together, it will feel very relieving and worth knowing it was a great relationship.
Frequency528
on
May 13, 2018
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Focus on you and what you want to do and succeed at. Take one day at a time and remember that if you focus on that person it will be very difficult to be independent
malena292
on
Jun 24, 2018
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Sometimes, love is not all. You can love someone, but not every time that person is what you need, and you need more of a relationship.
kukryshka
on
Dec 29, 2018
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I was in the situation like this. The first thing that helped me was to acknowledge that I’m not the part of the person I love. I can live by my own no matter I love it who loves me. I’m self-sustained and emotionally independent person and if I want my life goes on happily without that particular person I love now. I can love again. I can develop myself. I can do what I like to do. I can invest time and attention in my personal growth. I can fall in love with life, freedom and a lot of opportunities to feel good.
The second thing I learned was to love the person without being in their lives. If you really love the person, and it is not just strong toxic feelings of addiction, you can just love them. You can with them all the wonderful things and be glad that they’re fine.
The third thing is the embracing of separation, embracing the fact that you and your ex-partner are going in the different directions. And it’s not good or bad. This is just what it is. And life is wise enough to give you many wonderful chances to love and be loved again in the future. We can be grateful for the beautiful time we had with the person and move on.
Of course all these things need long process. I was giving yourself time. I let tears to be, let grief to be, let weakness to be, let relief and new life to be. And I eventually I let myself to be happy again.
Iamthereforyou1
on
Jul 20, 2019
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A great first thing to do is to accept that you love him and that you might keep such feelings for an uncertainly long time, and that is okay that way. Not every love can be lived in the way we wish for, and accepting that fact helps us to move on.
The process of moving on can be tricky, as the remaining feelings can fuel the desire to be reunited. Visualizing clearly why things did not work out and knowing what you want instead can support you on your path of moving on. Key is to see the whole picture here.
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