How do you deal with the temptation to contact your ex?

I have never had this situation, although I often feel tempted to contact a friend/mentor of mine whom I feel I have overstepped boundaries. What I did was I literally burned the bridges until they cannot be rebuilt in any way anymore, that's how the temptation disappears. It is hard to resist the temptation due to the shared sentiments and memories that are precious and nostalgic. Sometimes, I think, we have to let go. Maybe in another parallel universe, we would be together with them, enjoying our days together, splendidly and wonderfully. But in this life, that is probably not what happens, and we have to let go.

Reflect on the reason he is your ex. If YOU broke up with them, then why did you break up with them? If they were your ideal life partner then you would've never broken up with them. If their good outweighed their bad you would still be together. When you make a decision, never leave room for regret, and never make a decision with the intention of not sticking to it. Don't forget the pain they've caused you. If they broke up with you because of something you've done (or maybe for no reason at all) then it's best if you just spend your energy on focusing on yourself. Although it's possible they didn't break up with you because of something you lack, I think it's best if you take a break and develop yourself into something they can't ever have again. If despite this message you let your temptation take the best of you then before you do so, imagine your past self and how you felt when your relationship was over. Contact your ex, but don't forget that person and how they swore they'd never go back. Remember.

I understand and have also been through the need to reach out to an ex. While it always a struggle, Ive found that stopping to think it through is the first step. What are you hoping to achieve by contacting them? Maybe think about what you genuinely believe the outcome would be if that would be different from what you are hoping it would be. Also think about what might have triggered this need along with reflecting on why the relationship truly ended and if that is something worth revisiting. Often we miss the positives and forget the negatives. Have you thought or tried to distract yourself as well? Whether is is reading or watching a movie, discussing something with a friend sometimes distracting myself works for me. What are things that help you take your mind off things in general? Favorite hobbies or destressors?

Ask yourself, would you watch a horrible movie twice or read a bad book twice? No, because you already know how it will end. So If you already know it will not be a good idea why entertain it? Take up a hobby or come to 7cups and chat with one of the listeners, like myself! Don't ever go backwards in life we must always move forward. On the other hand, if you feel it is the right thing to do than more power to you, it is your decision and your life so choose wisely. Good luck!

Distract yourself with things that you love:) hang out with your friends or read or take a nap! Normally that temptation comes from boredom but if you are constantly thinking about it you might need to see a professional. Trust me, going through with it just fills you with so so so much regret. It is not good for you. It just makes you feel worse than you already are. Your best bet is to try to move on. When you break up with someone, it just shows that you two weren’t meant to be, so try your best to move on from that relationship as it isn’t worth it.

I think it is important to reflect on why you want to contact this person, are you bored? Lonely? Seeking validation? As difficult as it is in these moments it is absolutely worth taking a few moments to ground yourself in the present moment with these questions and consider the reasons why contact was severed in the first place. Is this someone you actually want to be in contact with or is there an idea of a person, or a feeling you had whilst with them that you miss? I try to view breakups as a sort of rebirth, an opportunity if you will. While this can be frightening,look at all the things you can do while you’re single! Your schedule is entirely your own, your time, your space and your wants and needs. Freedom is a hot commodity, you deserve to use it! This is a fleeting feeling and distraction tactics like hanging out with friends or family will ease the discomfort until it passes😊