How do you deal with the temptation to contact your ex?

It can be very hard for some people. The connection you have with someone doesn't instantly go away, so you start to miss them. That's natural. But it' s important to remember the reason he/she is your ex in the first place. It's better to contact a close friend before going that route. Talking to someone you trust. Distracting yourself with other activities such as going on a hike of the park or walking your dog. Watch a movie. But try not to do things that remind you of that person. Explore other or new hobbies that you can enjoy by yourself.

I have had very serious breakups and thus have never had the urge to contact my ex. But whenever i felt so i reminded myself why we were not together anymore. I am cool with a some exes but not with everyone. Some are so old that there is no bad blood between us anymore. But some have been traumatic enough for me to never have tried to contact me. Also calling your bestfriend when you feel like contacting your ex is also a good way to get yourself to clearly see what is wrong and riGHT AND REFRAIN YOURSELF.

Think about the reason why would you want to reach out? Will it be positive? There might be so manny reason to want to do it, while experimenting withdrawing for a separation, be kind to yourself if you somehow know it might not be positive to reach out try and go out with friends, focus on your self in a loving, caring way do the things you love to do and makes you feel good, learn something new, practice some sport/ exercise, volunteer, read a book you always were curious about this will help you feel a sense of control, and help you feel you are in your way to gain balance in your life again.

I try to reach out to uplifting friends or family. I don't even have to tell them what's going on, but just making a real connection can remind me that I have good people in my life and that I decided not to have certain people in my life for a reason. Also being gentle with yourself is important. It's not easy to get over emotions and even if it's been a long time those can still come back and that's okay. It's hard not giving in, but when you feel confident in yourself and your choices, it's just a little less hard.

Thank you for reaching out! I understand from personal experience that having this urge to message an ex can be very difficult to resist. The temptation to contact your ex is like rewatching the same movie and expecting a different end. You ask yourself, Is it going to end the same way? It’s really easy to say move forward from your life and do not go back to that pathway. Emotions after a break-up can be really raw. Your ex may have been the one that had broken up with you which is why it’s difficult to forget what you feel for them and move on from the feeling or perhaps there was some regret on breaking up if you both broke up on your terms. You may want to ask yourself how you both handled the break up. Were they your first relationship and so that’s why it’s a challenge? Did things end in bad terms, things were said that were mean and you want your ex to forgive you or you want your ex to apologise? What about your ex is tempting you to contact them? Looking into your ex’s social media is very unlikely to do you any favors emotionally as it will just remind you of how much you miss them or how awful of an impression they have given you. They may be dating newer people and this can leave you having trouble with accepting this as you did not choose to break up with them. So unfollowing them on social media can help with your healing process and also having a chat with friends too that have been in relationships that did not go well. You need to feel you are not alone in your emotions! There are support organisations you can look into such as Relate which provides support on relationship stress and breakups for more information. You are also welcome to communicate with one of our amazing listeners and therapists on our site for a listening ear.

I really understand the pain of going through that. If I had really loved My ex his happiness should always be my happiness too and if they are feeling happy without me in their life I think they should be set free and moreover I feel I need to respect my self respect. consider my mental health and peace as my first priority. I should also learn from this lesson of life and correct my mistake and strive to be a better person. Remembering that these are all a part of life it might be really seems hard right now but definitely it is making me a stronger and better person

You have the urge to contact your ex which I can understand. It can be difficult. After a break up or separation, you have feelings for them and that is completely natural. It may be a good idea to ask yourself, what are the reasons you want to contact them. It can also be a good idea to talk with someone about this who understands you. If you think you are unable to move on, you can read some books on break up or see a therapist. Please know that what you are going through happens in most post-relationships. If you have some questions to ask them to clear some matter or issues, you may contact them as well. You can even imagine having a imaginary discussion with your ex alone with yourself. I hope it helps. 😊

I remember how far I have came. I reflect on the pain that has shaped who I am today but I do not allow temptation to define me or define my progress. I remember to stay in the moment and keep myself busy. It is hard to overcome temptations in general and temptation in terms of contacting an ex.. well.. remember they are an ex for a reason. I think something that really helps me get through those low moments or times I feel temptation or impulsive is journal writing. Journal writing allows me to be free and myself.

To deal with the temptations you have to get logical about them. Firstly, these temptations strongly comes from the fact that the ex were part of your life just yesterday and now your mind and emotions and even routine has a void space that needs to be filled in. These temptations urge you to feel the emotions or feelings that were part of good days. You might want to check up on them because it had become a habit to do so. These emotions and time are void mostly because the way we feel about each individual is different and thus people are always told to ACCEPT and heal. Those emotions and moments cannot be relived with someone else with the same frequency but to deal with these temptations you have to bring back why are you here in the first place. Because if they did care and were good for you, you wouldnt be here thinking all this.

When I experience the temptation of wanting to talk to my ex, I remind myself that we broke up and no longer chatted for a reason. Things didn't work out in the relationship and that's okay, often there will be heartbreak before you meet the one. Think about why you have the urge to talk to your ex. Are you feeling lonely? Are you lacking affection or attention? Do you miss being in a relationship? Reasons like these to your urges can be cured by one thing: self-care. Being single, or alone, is not a curse, it is a blessing. Use the time you have to nourish yourself and learn how to enjoy your own company. You cannot rely on a partner to take care of you or to make you feel happy, only you can fulfill yourself.