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How do you deal with the temptation to contact your ex?

Profile: RhinoCal
RhinoCal on Jun 25, 2020
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When dealing with the temptation to contact and ex, first ask your self why you are reaching out, if the answer is not positive then try these alternative options to avoid that message. -Message a family member you feel comfortable talking to -Message a close friend who will listen -Write your concerns in a journal or diary -Research some ways to deal with a break up -Load up 7 cups and chat to a member instead! At some point we’ve all wanted to text an ex for this or that reason. We just have to remember that we are in control and that you can get through anything if you put your mind to it.
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Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jul 2, 2020
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I think something that helps is thinking why are you trying you reach out to them and what are you expecting from that conversation and then thinking about what is probably going to happen. When I first wanted to contact my ex after we broke up, I actually did. I just wanted to have one of our good old conversations but instead it just felt cold and like they were just trying to keep their distance. After that I understood that I was expecting too much from a relationship that had already ended. Also, I figured that if I missed them and contact them I would probably "never" move forward, that's what I thought. It's all part of the process of getting over someone and healing.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jul 5, 2020
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Remind yourself that they don't serve you anymore. They are your ex for a reason, as much as it hurts. Contacting your ex may be medicating in the moment, but once the high is gone, you'll need more and crash. Ask yourself what you get out of contacting your ex. Is it productive? Will you feel worse if you text them? Contacting your ex will delay your progress as you reminisce and think about "what could have been", when there is no "what could have been". This person is your ex for your reason. Let it be and let yourself heal. It's absolutely freeing and wonderful once you do.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Aug 2, 2020
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I usually end up contacting some close friends who have a general overview of the situation and genuinely care and do their best to understand me. I talk about how I feel and why I feel like contacting my ex. Talking about it with someone ALWAYS helps. Sometimes your own emotions can be clouding your judgement even though you feel you know better and don't think this is the case. But sometimes we just don't realise ourselves. This is why talking to someone helps clear things in your mind and their opinion from a third perspective can help provide some clarity to your thought.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Aug 13, 2020
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I was so tempted and I knew it's not good for me, so my friend and I had a deal to support each other. She was in a similar situation. Our deal was that I would reach out to her before I reach out to my ex and vice versa. It really helped. There were a few late night text messages, I felt embarrassed that I had to share it with her, but I also felt very supported There were no judgement, we both knew how hard it is, and we just wanted to support each other. It's been 8 years ago now and I am still grateful I had her support. And I never reached out to my ex after her and I had our pact.
Profile: zealousFreedom532
zealousFreedom532 on Aug 23, 2020
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ask myself if i am feeling lonely or needing love and if so - to do some self care, talk to a loving friend to get healthy connection and then see if i do still want to contact my ex. the desire to contact my ex may be coming from a place of loneliness, feeling unwanted, undesired and wanting some form of connection even if unhealthy. so by doing some self care first and seeking healthy connection with a trusted friend then i can see whether or not it is a healthy choice to contact my ex. if i contact them from a place of self love, then it is unlikely to take a codependent turn
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Sep 2, 2020
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I distract myself.I give myself hope.I think if I will love myself I will not be tempted to go to the place which hurts me.I think of my self respect and I do something which makes me really happy.I avoid too interaction with him.It helps a lot.I talk to a friend of mine.It helps me diverting my mind for a specific time.I love watching tv and reading books so I indulge myself in these things.I assure myself that I will get better from life.I motivate myself to stay optimistic. A past which hurts should be repeated.I simply love myself.I help others too
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Sep 17, 2020
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After a bad breakup, you might miss your ex and feel tempted to contact him or her, or you may be resentful and feel the urge to vent your frustrations. Whatever motivates your urge to call your ex, having contact while you're still getting over the breakup is never a good idea. By giving each other time and space, you can assess whether there's any chance for friendship in the future. In the meantime, it's best to cut all ties and avoid one another while you heal.Understand that your brain is in withdrawal from the release of dopamine your ex gave you. Recently broken up singles show activity in the same part of the brain as a drug user. Dopamine is the feel-good chemical the leaves you wanting more of whatever stimulus gave you the dopamine in the first place. Cravings encourage you to get more of what your brain wants, and in this situation, your brain wants your ex. Understanding this can help you break the cycle.
Profile: FrostWire
FrostWire on Sep 25, 2020
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Hi, I'm FrostWire your supporting listener; I've read your question and it's a great one. How to deal with temptation while going through things for the benefit of a relationship rite? Well; relationships are worth the wait if you understand the reason for separation anxiety. Being anxious to contact a close one is something that lots of people deal with on a day to day basis, even me. But let's focus on centering ourselves around dealing with the situational topic within question. Sometimes we need things like extra curricular activities to keep us busy so we don't seem bothersome, clingy, or above all "being in the way". No, we don't want that do we? So, what are things you are good at (if any) that can keep you busy until it's time link up with your Ex-social partner? I mean; if that's truly what you want to do. But also we must look back on the reason in which you are not with that certain person rite now; an if it's worth going through a situation like such. Even more so, what if the ex partner has a new significant other? I wouldn't think it's a great idea to be a crusher of hearts an logic. Take it from "FrostWire"; You don't want to engage on someone from the past an months later find out that their actually with another person. it can be very pain full for the pride filled an even worse for the free at heart. Your decision is solely yours. Remember; I'm FrostWire Your supporting listener here at 7cup.com an thank you for choosing us for your everyday questions..
Profile: a4f1N
a4f1N on Oct 7, 2020
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Reassess why your relationship didn’t work out, and what you felt when making the decision to break up. Think about ways to fix that issue, or if that issue cannot be fixed. Then revaluate if you want to text them or not, either choice being okay. Making this kind of decision can be difficult, however, you are the only person who can truly understand what is best for you. You can also think about what you would do if a friend came to you with this same problem. How would you suggest they approach this problem? By doing this you can see other perspectives and decide what you should do.
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