How do you deal with the temptation to contact your ex?

I tell myself they’re not worth it. They’ve hurt me, my family, and my friends. They don’t deserve my time, and their lies will always remain as lies. I feel so much better being by myself, I don’t have someone else controlling my life, or manipulating me into being someone who I never wanted to be. I miss them a lot, and that’s normal, but I remember how I felt being in that relationship, and remember why I left. If you feel unsafe with your partner, the relationship is obviously toxic and not good for you. I learned that the hard way. I wish I never stayed.

If I am ever tempted to contact my ex, I first ask myself if that’s really the best thing I can do for myself. My mental health should always come first, even if they seem down or are pressuring me. I might play my music or do some exercise and ask myself again a little while later, and this helps me feel like me and think with a clearer head. This way, I can remind myself more easily of the consequences of messaging them. Thinking logically is the best way to avoid any shame, embarrassment or upset that I might feel if I decide that it’s a bad idea to message them after all.

I take time to myself to think if it is a good idea not always contacting my ex is a good idea but when I have a temptation to I try to think it is not worth talking to someone that hurt you and never wanted you. or if they cheated its not worth talking to someone that cheated and hurt you really bad I never talk to my exes unless they didn't hurt me and it ended on good terms but if it didn't end on good terms I wont talk to them or text them or ever see them.

Think about why it is that you want to contact them? What were the circumstances that led to the breakup? Have any of those circumstances changed? What do you hope will happen if you make contact with them? Are there other things that you could do to distract yourself from contacting them? It's always difficult when someone was once so important to you and they're suddenly no longer a part of your life. Are there hobbies or interests that you were unable to pursue while you were in that relationship? Remember to not be too hard on yourself. Change is always difficult at first, but each day will get a bit easier.

I would remind myself of the reasons I am out of contact with them and why we broke up in the first place, and also ask myself if trying to meet my temptation will bring a positive result. Weigh up the pros and cons based on evidence and history, rather then on pure emotion or impulse. Then, if I decide what I'm tempted to do is a risk or a bad idea, I try to think of something else healthy that I can do that makes me feel good and reward myself with that healthy reward. I'm always glad to have thought it through and not done it later.

Try to distract yourself as much as possible. Talk to your friends or family. Go out and maybe leave your phone at home so you don't risk contacting them. Try new things every day! You might be able to find a new hobby to help distract yourself from contacting him! Try turning your phone off for a certain amount of time each day, so then you can't contact him. Try going to new places or events that you've never gone to.

Put in mind and focus on why he/she is your ex in the first place to realize that its liking a vicious circle in which will bring me to this same point I AM at the moment. Consider it as a pattern in me in which I always fall to and keeps me stuck in place with no progress but just coming back to and just makes life miserable... bad habit that I just got to get rid of once and for all. If she were good for me I wouldn't get rid of her in the first place so why come back to it.

I write down all the obstacles I have overcome to move past that relationship, and how that has made me a stronger, more resilient person! I think about how I have learned about how to care for myself and ask for the things I need from a relationship. No temptation is worth backtracking to an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes it feels like we miss that person, but I think most times we miss what we "think" that person was like... sometimes we get so caught up in an idea of what we think it was that we forgot how it truly was. That's the part where you have to stand up for yourself, and trust in your own decision to leave that relationship. You know you best.

When you want to send that text or make that call to talk to them think about how they treated you or why you both called it quits. They had their chance with you and they blew it up to pieces. So, Is it worth all of the pain that you went through? YOU are worth everything and you do not deserve to be treated poorly. So when you want to contact that ex that you still miss put down the phone and think about what you are about to do. If they lost you then what tells you that the same things won't happen again. You deserve the best and they should realize that.

This question is really relatable to me. When I broke up with my girlfriend at the time, I straight up deleted every single detail of her from my devices, blocked her and just connected with all my friends and family for support and love. When I break up with someone, I will never look back. It is the complete end for her in my life because I know that any further interactions will just make it painful and extremely difficult for me. It's not going to work-out in the end. Ending up re-connecting and living happily ever after with the ex is not normal and is an exception that can only happen in an unlikely and specific set of circumstances.