How do I stop missing my ex?

Man oh man. It hurts, doesn’t it? That’s an understatement. The cliché answers on here: Give it time Find distractions, spend time with family, friends, people that love you Do what you’ve always wanted to do that you never got to do before Get out more, mingle, don’t shut yourself out Believe it or not—- you don’t wanna hear these things at first. All you want to do is see your ‘ex’ and spend time with them. But these clichés help—- after some time. They didn’t help me right away. I didn’t wanna spend time with my friends. My family. I didn’t wanna go out with people; I didn’t wanna do anything with anyone. All I wanted to do was SEE ‘him’. Fix our situation. Pretend that things were the same, and fix this ‘thing’ we were going thru-whatever you wanted to call it— and get back to life as it was. But honestly babe… You can’t dwell. I know it hurts. It’s gonna hurt whether we want it to hurt or not. You miss them so much that you’d literally do anything to be able to talk to them again, to be with them, to go back to how things used to be. Dwelling on the past is only going to hurt you more, and you’ll be stuck. By stuck, I mean you’ll feel like you’re in this place where you can’t move forward (or rather, you don’t wanna move forward), and all you’re doing is watching life go on right under your little nose while you’re dwelling on him and the situation. Discovering Quora has helped me immensely. Finding people that are going through what you have gone thru/are going thru gave me comfort. Someone once told me this when I was feeling really down, like I wanted to curl up and die: “This person left you because they don’t love you anymore. Now how does that make you feel? You want so desperately to be with this person when they have no desire whatsoever to be with you. Doesn’t that make you feel some type of way? Why on earth do you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you at all? Try and be strong; don’t ever let them know you’re suffering because they’re not here. At some point, they’ll get curious and they’ll contact you. And if they don’t? Well then, they never really loved you in the first place. But don’t devalue yourself. You’re worth so much more than that…” Took me awhile to grasp that, but it’s got meaning to it, you know? Some days, I still feel myself getting baffled at the thought of: We want to talk to them SO much; all we wish we could do is just talk to them, and they don’t feel a bit of yearning to talk to us. I miss my ‘who I thought to be my person’ so very much still, sometimes I’ll sit on my bed and just cry out of nowhere. Boy, do I miss him, guys. After we split, I’ve never heard from him again (a little over a year for me). I’ve tried to get his attention, but nothing. Try and be strong. You are worth so much more than someone who is capable of leaving you, even when they said they loved you. That isn’t love. It’s hard, but just know that you’re worth more than what you’re putting yourself through. Through this whole life-changing process (cuz that’s what it is), I’ve met some really awesome, totally out of this world people and made new friends, and that wouldn’t have happened if none of this never happened to me. I’ve changed as a person for the better, I’ve made some new self-discoveries about myself and the world, i’ve taken so many lessons away from this. And I’ve become so much stronger than I ever thought possible. You don’t really have a choice, you know? You learn to become strong on your own, because that’s literally the only option for you. I’m always gonna miss him, that’s a fact. But I can’t ever ever ever be a friend to him, because I don’t see him like that, I never will. If I can’t have him as more, then I don’t want him as a friend. Some people you can become friends with, this person I cannot and will not. Anyone who needs to talk, I’m not opposed. Stay strong!

When ending a relationship one of the harder things to get through is the "missing" phase. I think a good way to get past this is to keep in touch with what was real, it is easy to build up an image with all the good things about this person, but also remembering the bad parts is important to get over someone. I also think a good way to get over someone is to remove them from your life completely (if possible). its so easy to go look at someones social media, photos, old texts, etc. but this is only damaging to yourself and sometimes removing people from your daily feed is self-care.

By allowing yourself time to grieve and time to reflect on the good and bad. Then giving yourself permission to move forward by focusing on the things that matter to you, school, work, friends and family for example. Maybe start a new project or learn something you been putting off. After an end of a relationship it may be difficult at first to get the motivation to do something but once you allow youself the time to feel, you open yourself up to new experiences and a new way of looking at things. Remember, relationship are not the end all, be all to your existance, they are apart of the experience as a whole. You matter as a person, outside the relationship spectrum. Give yourself permission to remember, you are whole person with needs and wants. Respect yourself by living as fully as you can and feeling your feelings.

The first step lies in accepting the fact that you are missing your ex. And this missing is a reminder of the moments you have shared together. and it is perfectly okay to remember and recollect the same. It is not possible for any of us to forget someone especially someone we had loved so much. So it takes time to fade the memories of the same person. also missing someone is okay as long as this missing is not causing you any emotional damage or putting you in a position which will not yield any positive results. There is no full stop in missing someone however memories of the same person will eventually be less. Eliminating certain things from your life which will remind you of the same person can be done. Once you start to engage in your life and with other people, you will move on and then be left with no time to think of the same person. if the break up had been positively managed by both, it is better to have a healthy relationship with you ex too.

Breaking up with someone is always hard, give yourself some love and time. You may always have feelings for your ex but this does not make you a bad person or a foolish person. You are only human, if you want to have more social interactions, you can spend time with family and friends. It may sound silly but spending time with people who remind you that they love you, that you're important to them, and that you matter to them can be enjoyable and remind you that you don't need a romantic relationship to feel happy and complete. If you're more solitary and reserved, doing activities like drawing, writing, etc. can really help ground you and remind you of who you are outside of your romantic relationships.