How do I let go of pent up anger towards an ex?

Focus on forgiveness and learning. Each relationship teaches us one or two things we didn't know about ourselves or life in general. When we hold on to past hurt we ain't learning through the mistakes. But when we let go and focus on healing we create healthy boundaries and teach ourselves to accept that things may not always go as we want. We also learn what we need to look out for so that we don't repeat cycles. Talk to friends or family members when you need to vent it's important to let the anger out or even cry but take time to heal and learn from the experience.

I usually listened to music to calm myself down or went outside for a walk with some friends. It also helps to read a book or spend time with family. I usually listened to music to calm myself down or went outside for a walk with some friends. It also helps to read a book or spend time with family. I usually listened to music to calm myself down or went outside for a walk with some friends. It also helps to read a book or spend time with family. I usually listened to music to calm myself down or went outside for a walk with some friends. It also helps to read a book or spend time with family. I usually listened to music to calm myself down or went outside for a walk with some friends. It also helps to read a book or spend time with family. I usually listened to music to calm myself down or went outside for a walk with some friends. It also helps to read a book or spend time with family. I usually listened to music to calm myself down or went outside for a walk with some friends. It also helps to read a book or spend time with family.

Sometimes it's best to let it out. Maybe try writing out your feelings and frustrations on paper and then tear up your note. When we keep our emotions in sometimes they bubble up and we cant seem to let go. This way, you can get your feelings out and let them go in your own way. You cant truly let go of your anger until you've understood it yourself. Talking to a friend or a listener on 7Cups can also help you process your emotions. If you feel you need more help, seek help from a licensed therapist who can guide you through the best path forward.

There is nothing quite like being betrayed by the person who is supposed to love you most. Somewhere inherent in the concept of love is the belief that you will protect one another’s best interests. Allowing yourself to love someone requires a level of trust that you likely didn’t give easily. So when the trust you give gets trampled on, anger is a perfectly normal, self-preserving response. But the wound that gets inflicted from betrayal can sometimes linger long after a relationship ends, and when you hold on to anger and resentment, it can become toxic and keep you from moving forward. When your anger over another person’s actions is keeping you stuck, it means he or she still exerts control over your life. So how do you let go of the anger? The following four steps can help you work through the process. 1. Acknowledge it. Anger is an emotion that people are often uncomfortable with. You may hold beliefs about anger, such as: Nice people don’t get angry; anger is unattractive; I’m above being angry. Some will go to extreme measures to numb the anger, often with self-destructive and unhealthy behavior, but avoiding it doesn’t help it go away. The first step to letting it go is being OK with it. When someone treats you poorly, violates your boundaries, or does something hurtful, you have a right to be angry about it. Feeling the anger in these situations tells you that you have a healthy level of self-respect. Realize that the anger is there to help you. The anger is telling you that you are in a situation that may not be in your best interest. It is often the emotion that gives you the courage to separate from an unhealthy relationship. 2. Express it. This is a tricky one. You may have had the experience of stuffing your anger down until it erupts in one big explosion, only to later regret it and promise to keep it stuffed down even deeper next time. Or you may have been criticized in the past for showing your anger. To be clear, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to express anger, and doing it in an unhealthy way can be damaging to you and your relationships with others. Expressing anger in a healthy way is something that many people struggle with, but letting it out is an important part of freeing yourself from it. While there may be times when expressing your anger directly to someone may be important, when dealing with an ex, the relationship is already over, and the healing you need is about you, not him or her. Sharing it with your ex isn’t necessary, because the reality is you don’t need their apology or even their acknowledgment to heal. A safe way to get it out is to simply write it down. Write a letter to your ex telling them everything you really want to say. Don’t hold anything back, because you aren’t going to send it. Underneath a lot of anger is often a good deal of hurt, so if tears come while you are doing this, let them flow. After you’ve written down your feelings, put the letter aside and make an effort to go do something fun and active. Later, if sharing it still feels important, then share the letter with someone you trust, such as a close friend or a therapist. When you’re ready, put it away or, better yet, get rid of it. 3. Depersonalize it. What any one person says or does is always much more about them than it is about you. If your partner cheated on you, it wasn’t because you weren’t good enough; it was because he/she chose to be unfaithful. Learning to release your anger can often happen more easily when you take your focus off of the specific events that occurred and instead try to see the perspective of the people involved. Most people don’t act with the intention of directly hurting another person; generally, they make choices intending to make themselves feel better. For better or worse, it is in our nature as human beings to operate from our own self-beneficial perspective, and the impact of our actions on others is often a secondary consideration. It doesn’t make it right, but sometimes seeing the other person’s perspective can help you better understand the events that unfolded and make them less personal. It can also be easier to forgive someone when you see them as a whole person. If you find yourself stewing in anger over something that another person did or didn’t do, try to pull back and remember the good qualities you saw in that person when you first met, and recognize that we all have flaws, and we all make mistakes.

I think to let go of anger, it has to come from a place of letting it go for yourself rather than for the other person. For me personally, it comes from validating and accepting my hurt and anger and allowing myself to feel it. I'd actually tell myself, "I was hurt by ____, and it's okay to feel that hurt and anger." Allowing myself to feel it in the moment and recognize it for what it was made it easier to process and not feel like my emotions were out of my control. After doing that for a while, the feelings came less and less.

I begin but thinking about what I found great in my ex and then I begin to realize what I didnt like about my ex and realize sometimes I don't really need them nor do I need to feel bad. bad things can happen but it is what we do with them that makes us better. plus I some times feel grateful towards my ex because they have made me who I am and who I want to strive to be. I love who I am and can not see my self being any one else but who I am

For me, I know there's a reason the relationship didn't work out. This is especially true if you were the one to dump your ex. For example, my ex cheated on me and refused to stand up for me when confronted by his family. Those things were awful and caused me a lot of distress. I typically focus on all the things I'm able to do in life now that my ex is out of my life. I don't talk to him. I blocked him on all forms of social media and still avoid posting things on the internet I wouldn't want him to see in case he's still stalking my profile. In short, distance from my ex and unwaivering self-love were key.

Hey! I noticed your question, I don’t completely know what happened with you and your ex but here are some tips. It’s important to recognize what you are feeling and then accept what you’re feeling. Emotions are great! They help us cope through hard situations. It sounds like you’ve done the first step to this, which is identifying your feeling. I would recommend looking back on all the good and bad things that happened to move onto your next step, acceptance. After you accept your feelings you have to accept what happened. Making a chart of things that lead up to your breakup could help with this. While you do that you need to think about if the relationship was healthy or unhealthy. Once you identify the things above the steps continue. You have to set new goals for yourself that are attainable and measurable. I completely understand if you don’t want to make charts and everything and I’m sure there’s other ways! From my personal experience charts help me to identify things, but it might not be the same for you! Just remember acceptance, realization, and goals are super important.

Sometimes when a relationship ends, it can be hard to fully release the feelings we have towards a person. However, coping with pent up anger towards an ex is very much like coping with anger in general in that we can quell the anger with some form of forgiveness, even if we only ever express that forgiveness within ourselves. Coming to a place of forgiveness often entails realizing that when a person hurts you, your pain is hardly ever the root desire or motivation of the action, even if the person says it is. For instance, if my ex tells me something to put me down, them telling me that, in all likelihood, is done more because it helps them feel bigger, more confident, by putting me down. Similarly, if someone steals from me, their primary objective, in all likelihood, is not to hurt me, but rather to sustain some personal gain. Most of the time, a person acts solely out of their own self-interest rather than an interest in hurting another person. This can help you feel less angry, because you will note that most, if not all, of the "bad" things they did to you were really just attempts to ease their own suffering. Another way to come to forgiveness is to accept that a person was just doing the best they could with the resources they had at the time. Resources here could mean time, effort, energy, emotional intelligence, et cetera. Building empathy for the other person's circumstances (both then and now) can also help you find forgiveness in your heart for them, vindicating you of your anger towards them.

First thing for forgiving is to move on from past and believe that what ever happened between you and your ex or anyone in general, good or bad, happened a long time ago and right now in this moment you have nothing to do with this person. The important things about past are the things you learn to do and the ones you learn not to do so, if for example this person betrayed you, now you can understand how to manage your emotions and you are stronger. Only the ones who have tasted a bad fruit know how the good ones taste. But remember, maybe 20 years after now, you may meet him when you're in the same supermarket and by then it is better to remember he was a kind person, rather than a betrayer. That way you won't get hurt either.