How do I let go of pent up anger towards an ex?

Holding onto negative feelings poison our inner self and threatens our well being. Anger is energy and it can be transformed into something positive. By taking good care of your own self, loving yourself and dedicating yourself to your passions and interests, you will be able to let go of those feeling cos you'll be to busy doing something great and extremely rewarding. This way you'll bring joy into your life and into the one of those around you. Smile and life will smile back at you. Don't let your past define your present and your future. Let the light shine upon yourself.

I was the textbook victim when it came to my ex. There was a lot of emotional pain that I had to see before I could begin my forgiveness path. While learning more about myself through learning about self awareness, I was able to see how much I had contributed to my own choices. So the short answer would be 1. recognize and focus on the anger - give that part a name, such as betrayal or hurt 2. Once you know what you are dealing with, breathe. It takes a little bit to process. 3. You don't have to forget but finding peace is what is important - not giving your ex anything. This forgiveness is for you to feel better, not them. 4. this is a bonus. Change is hard for anyone, and anger is part of this change. It will get better.

It's hard to let go of anger towards an ex who has hurt you. The truth is that over time, the anger goes away. Reminding yourself of what you are looking for in a partner and how they weren't the best match for you helps you in letting go of that anger. Choose peace and happiness for yourself over being angry. In my opinion, we can't stay angry forever and staying angry won't contribute to our overall happiness. It's better to let go of things we can't control (other people's actions toward us) and focus on the things we DO have control over. Choose happiness, choose yourself, choose peace.

It can be very cathartic to let go of pent up anger toward an ex. When a relationship ends and one is left with anger is can be quite cathartic to write a good bye letter to your ex. In this letter write all of your frustrations, disappointments and reasons why you feel anger. Sign the letter, read it out loud and take time to feel the emotions reading the letter brings up. Sit with the emotions as they are all okay to notice/feel. Register what the emotions are but don't be concerned about being overly attached. If you have a place where the letter can be burnt safely; have a good bye ceremony and burn the letter and say good-bye! (Or good-riddance if it was really bad.) If you are in a place where you can't burn it safely take the letter and tear it to small pieces! Bye bye! Following the burning or tearing of the letter to your ex let go of the anger you feel say good bye to it. Congratulate yourself for saying good bye! Follow up by forgiving your ex (and yourself.)

If you don't want to talk to him directly, maybe you can open up a document and type or handwrite all your feelings and express as if you're talking to him. I've found it to be super helpful pretending that he's standing in front of me and I'm venting all the things I hadn't got a chance to say in the past. If you find it faster to handwrite, then maybe you should keep a notebook and write it down. It could also be useful to keep tabs on yourself and how you feel about the situations down the line.

Do something to express those emotions, whether it is writing a letter (but don't send it), or art, dance, or any way that will allow you to feel those emotions and express them. Or talk to a listener here on 7 cups. Its really about figuring out where your anger is coming from and coming to an understanding of it, that sense of clarity will give you space to process that emotion and eventually accept it. Feel free to reach out to me if you like, otherwise reach out to another listener, or write on your own, or choose to do another activity that you think will help express the emotions behind that anger. All the best.

For me, the best way of letting out anger is writing it all down. As a kid, I used to own multiple journals and diaries to write down whatever I felt or whatever I did during the entire day. I think journal writing has been a significant part of my anger management as a youngster. Furthermore, you could channelise the anger towards something productive and what you actually enjoy doing. Any physical activity, studying, whatever works for you. However, holding onto anger for a long time is very harmful to yours as well the life of others around you. In order to let go off it, you must learn how to cope with it. It can be talking to the person you're mad at or looking at therapy to help you gain closure.

Sometimes it can be hard to accept the hurt that someone has caused - especially when we are romantically involved with the person. When I was in a relationship with someone who did not fulfill my needs for closeness and intimacy, I found it hard to forgive and accept that they were not the one for me, even after I had ended it. I harboured hurt and pain from the past and was a bit annoyed at myself for not being able to express what I felt I needed from them. What I found helpful, was to accept my part in the situation and vowe to make my needs and wants clear in my relationships. Accepting that maybe the person did not know how to love you the way you wanted and that maybe they were not meant for you is what really helped me. I also began to focus on the good things about the relationship. Not everything was difficult and there were parts of the relationship that I loved such as their ability to care at times and how they were always trying to help solve a problem I had. Focusing on the positive can also help to change the negative thoughts you have about the person. You can also write down your feelings, but not share them with your ex. Then put it away and let the feelings of anger go with the letter.

You have to work out why you have this anger and why you can't let it go. I spent a lot of time being angry at my exs and then I would meet someone else or find something else to occupy my mind and then I would think "Why did I spend so much time being angry, it wasn't bothering anyone accept me." It is understandable that you will feel angry or hurt after a break up, but there is a difference. A lot of emotions come into play when you break up with someone, but you need to work out if it is really anger or something else that you are feeling. One of the biggest questions I try and ask myself after I break up with someone is "If that person is able to hurt me so much and so easily, is that person really the person that I want to be with for the rest of my life" I then try and think of 5 things that I am grateful for and 5 things that I can do now that person is gone. This tends to make me feel bit better and a lot less angry.

Move on. That's the simple answer. The longer and harder solution is fight through the pain, the anguish and acknowledge that you are hurting. Start with accepting the pain. Try to understand their point of view, step into their shoes. Re-inspect your relationship from an outsider's perspective. Figure out why you are angry. Is it because she broke up with you, cheated on you?...etc Was it maybe your fault. Try to figure out if you can salvage anything from the relationship. Is there a spark still there? If not, seek closure and stop hurting your brain with pent-up anger. Pursue other hobbies and activities. You will find someone who loves you for you, Don't worry. Good Luck.