How do I let go of pent up anger towards an ex?
Anonymous
on
Jun 28, 2019
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Acceptance is freedom. Do yourself a favor and let go of that anger so you can move on with your life and better yourself. If you keep that anger in, then it will only stop you from reaching that full potential. My ex cheated on me and I was angry for a long time. I spent so much of my time and energy thinking about him and what I would say if he messaged me again. It just made me miss him more and become depressed. By letting that go I was allowed to go meet new people and improve my life by working out more and focusing more on my hobbies.
Anonymous
on
Jul 13, 2019
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Find a way to move on. Once you’ve done that, you have found a sense of freedom from him/ her. And I know this is easier said than done. You need to distract yourself, and do things you love! Relax. Play with a pet, talk to an old friend, eat some chocolate! Find what makes you happy, and do that! And, at the end of the day, you need to understand that in life, you lose some people, and it can be hard. But in loss, you will find someone new, be that in a relationship, or even making an awesome new friend! All the best x
ryanjsmith
on
Aug 21, 2019
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Deal with the anger first, don't bottle it up too much but also find a positive outlet for the anger (rather than punching a wall for example). You need to be able to express yourself and work to make yourslef feel better :) Deal with the anger through time and eventually you will begin to feel better. Time is also a great healer, so keep in mind that whilst some things may feel too difficult to deal with at that very moment, over time it will get easier and a positive outlet may become clear. Good luck from me as always!
Anonymous
on
Nov 20, 2019
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As long as you hold this anger, she will still be controlling you. It a sad fact. Moving on is the only way and then as you build yourself back up she will fade into a distant memory where she belongs. You must let go of the love or the hate stays. We cannot hate unless we love. Write down honestly all the reasons you love her, and then all the reasons you hate her, and you will have the list you need to get started letting go of both. Its very necessary. Time passing helps too, but it helps more when you're living for you!😉
gentleSmiles57
on
Jan 29, 2020
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Letting go of pent up anger can be hard thing to overcome especially if you had strong feelings towards the other person. There are a variety of different things you could try to help you overcome this feeling. one of the many ways would be to talked to your ex let go all of your emotions tell them how your feeling why your feeling this way. Or if your not a very good at confronting a person face to face you could always send them how you feel in a text message or letter you could choose to send it or to burn it whatever works best for you. Talking to friends or family also help and forgiveness can set you free.
Anonymous
on
Feb 7, 2020
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Well in my case , even tho he used to be my best friend we had no day we didn't talk for a couple of years, then we decided to date..but one day he just ghosted me no explanation ..not a good explanation anyway.. I started to think about the time we were together ..the positive memories .the way he made me feel while together ...he was very gentle and considerate...a gentleman .so even tho he hurt me and made me feel worthless...there are some good memories ..plus he helped me start drving school, I quit smoking for him and I also lost a lot of weight because of the love I had for him...even tho it is painful..I wish him the best ...
TheLinenMonk
on
Feb 14, 2020
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That pent up anger is not entirely directed at your ex. Your anger is directed at a version of your ex you hold in your mind. You are angry at the deeper emotions you feel toward her - betrayed? Confused? Unappreciated? Unworthy? Self-doubt?
What is it about her that connects with the hurting place inside you?
You have pent up anger because there are deeper issues inside you that you have not faced and come to peace with.
Maybe it is a archetypal thing. Your ex represents all ex's or future ex's. Of letting someone into your life and getting hurt. Of being surprised that you didn't see it coming and worrying you may not see the warning signs in the future. etc.
Smilingfuture
on
Mar 20, 2020
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The best thing you already did, is to excommunicate, that person, and he/she is an " ex" now, so they dont exist physically in front of you anymore. The next work that remains to be done is to distance them emotionally too. Lets start that with , releasing that person, by forgiving for all they did to you. Its not easy but it is necessary. Its important for you to be free from any such attachments with that person in thought and deed. Whatever betrayal, mistrust they meant to you, is over now . They are out of your bounds , once you release them and be free yourselves. Look at every thought that comes to you about them, with no emotions - as they meant nothing to you. This is one sure way to engage your emotions in a better way, which can lead to changed behavior and give you more control on your reactions like Anger or hatred. Go for it !!.
Anonymous
on
Mar 27, 2020
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Write it all down what you want to say to your ex and never really send it.Doing this will make you feel much better and maybe not entirely but it will lessen your anger for that moment. Thats one way to vent the anger out.Also, try to keep a diary and focus on the thought flow after you write your feelings down . This will work slowly but it relaxes alot and one fine day you will woke up and never even realise the problem existed. It may sound old school but meditation and writing a diary will always workout in the long term process. Do not beat yourself up. Be very kind and learn to love yourself.
Skyglider
on
Mar 27, 2020
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It's really easy to let feelings of hurt and anger build up toward an ex. But it takes a lot of energy to keep that hostility and anger directed at them, which takes away from your own life. For me, it took accepting both our roles in whatever it was I was angry about (and acceptance does not mean making it ok, but realizing that yes this is what I did, this is what they did, and yes it sucks kind of thing), and being compassionate toward myself. As I was gentle with myself, and realized how hard it was on both of us, and that I was wasting energy spitting venom at my ex, I was able to let it go. It's not an easy process! Recognize the good, recognize what made you angry, and acknowledge that it's ok to feel angry and hurt. But your ex doesn't deserve all that energy anymore. Focus it on you and turning it into helpful energy.
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