How do I let go of pent up anger towards an ex?

Forgiveness is the first part. Only then can you be at peace and move on. the past is the past and forgiveness will not change what has happened, but it will lead to a new beginning for yourself. Once you forgive, you will start to feel better about yourself. As if you are free. 'I forgive, but I also learn a lesson. I won't hate you, but I'll never get close enough for you to hurt me again. I can't let my forgiveness become foolishness." We learn from our mistakes and hopefully choose people who make us feel better about ourselves. We need to distance ourselves from negative people who only bring us down.

Throw yourself into hobbies you really love, perhaps a sport or a creative activity. This will really help to release some anger because you are forcing yourself to forget about the situation because you are doing something you really enjoy. Sports are great because you could use your anger to fuel your speed or passes. Creativity is a brilliant way to release emotions because you can portray it however you want. A non-naturalistic dance, a magnificent abstract canvas, however you wish to show how you're feeling. Who knows, perhaps you'll discover you're new favourite hobby!

I talked to my friends about it. They would always try and turn the bad times about him into a joke so I would be laughing instead of being mad. Or listen to R&B music while I go for a run but that’s not everyone’s personal cup of tea. I like coloring also ( I know it sounds like such a childish thing to say), so I did that for almost hours on ends sometimes. Again everyone have there methods , just don’t use violence cause that will only help for a couple minutes then your back to feeling hurt again

Find a way to express it. In dance or art or something that you enjoy that you feel really communicates with your soul. Paint in all red, dance to metal music, sing every empowerment song you can think of. Find your way to express anger through any sort of outlet. That's really helped me in the past, being able to take the anger inside of my body and mind and place it somewhere outwardly. When it was outside of my own mind, it was easier for me to walk away from all the anger, to leave it far behind me.

I recently experienced a break up two years ago (4 year relationship) and this year (1 year relationship). I was angry, sad, unmotivated, depressed, and lost. Something that I personally did was watch motivation videos on Youtube! I remember this one video I watched. One of the individuals stated "You would never allow a thief to enter your home and live there rent free, so why do you allow thoughts that steal your joy to enter and live inside your mind? Let it go". I don't mean let it go as in go punch a wall or something. I mean it as literally just let it go. From personal experience, letting go of pent of anger only leads to bitter situation. Here I'll give you an example. One time my ex (Relation that lasted 4 years one) broke up with me for the first time during the 4 years, I was only around 16 years of age. However, when she did break up with me at that time over the phone since it was long distance, I threw my chair and knocked down things in my room in anger (I was very immature). That only lead to a more bitter situation. So the lesson here is to just let that anger go, leave it in the past, don't let it get in the way, if you allow the anger to "invade your mind like a virus it will only affect your life in every other area". The best revenge I have learned is just to move on and do nothing. So.. this is how I let go of pent up anger towards an ex. I really hoped I helped you.

This is going to be a super cliche answer, but put yourself in their shoes. Think about how they feel about you and what you did; do you want them to be mad at you? I was mad at my first ex for a long time, they broke up with me and then fell in love with someone else, but should I be mad because I hurt or happy because they are learning to live? The biggest thing to understand is that we leave people because we want to, or vice versa. Think about the why before the anger boils deep inside.

Well, I learnt that forgiveness is not accepting what happened to you. It is accepting that it has already happened, not that it was okay for it to happen, but it has happened so what are you going to do about it? Once this is understood, you will not hold any grudge for anything or any situation. Because you will learn how to let go of the past, or anger so that it doesn't hold you a prisoner. My advice? Yes, they made you angry, but they also made you stronger, better and showed you exactly what you don't want. Someone once said, the best revenge is never taking revenge but actually letting go, moving on and creating the best version of yourself and forgetting about the past.

One of the best ways to do this would to, if you have anything of his/hers, get rid of it in someway. Either give it back or donate it somewheres. After that or if you only have memories with them, ty to replace them with memories of good stuff. Like with your friends or people you love. It may be hard, but one of the best ways to let go of something like this would be to try to get them out of your life as much as you can. Then it’ll be easer to forget them and go on with letting go of your anger to them.

As a person who had pent up anger towards several people I found it very helpful to write a letter of forgiveness. It may be hard but write a letter of forgiveness on paper or an online document, then burn the paper or delete the document. I personally don't recommend burning anything as it can be very dangerous but if you feel safe enough and that it is the best choice I am unable to stop you. Also meditation and breathing activities on here have been known to help with people who are feeling distressed or simply just need a distraction.

The good thing is you recognize and own you have pent up anger. Next, identify what the anger is about. Try to determine if it is about one thing or multiple things. Once that has been determined, write it down, say it out loud. If you did something to hurt your ex ask for forgiveness. Then, ask for permission to say why you are angry with him/her. After, that you may feel better. The goal is to get to the underlining reason(s) for the anger. Talking with your ex may also allow him/her to reveal any anger on their part. You may find out what you were angry about was caused by lack of communication.