How can you tell that you have really moved on?
Anonymous
on
Oct 3, 2020
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After a few months, I realised that losing you wasn’t really a loss. Losing you made sense. Losing you was inevitable.
I lost you because I never really had you.
You were never really mine, you were always searching for something away from me you were always thinking of someone else when you were with me.
I lost you because I would’ve lost who I was if I held onto you. I lost you to find myself.
See, I learned that it’s better to lose some people than to hold on to the hope of them coming back, because a person who doesn’t want to lose you, will never let you slip away. But you didn’t fight. You didn’t try. And in turn, you made my decision for me.
You made it easier for me to think of losing you as another way to find myself another way to save myself. And for the first time, you made me realise that not every person you lose is a loss and that losing can sometimes be winning.
For the first time, you made me realise that losing someone is sometimes the only way to love yourself.
For the first time, you made me realise there is so much more to be found in losing someone who was never meant to stay.
Losing you was hard, but keeping you was harder.
Losing you was a lesson but not a loss.
Losing you was my favourite win.
Iampandagenie
on
Oct 16, 2020
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When you're not caring about this question anymore.
My answer is actually done with this but I need to write more to post it. Minimum 100 characters. So I think I need to talk something gibberish for some time. So lemme tell you ways in which you can move on. You can engage yourself in different activities. And remember that it takes time to actually move on. Move on doesn't happen in one day or sometimes not even in one month. So you just gotta trust yourself that it'll all be fine one day. Till then act like you've actually moved on. And don't panic if you feel stuck sometimes. It's absolutely ok. It's ok to feel sad too and also to feel as if you've never initiated moving on. It's all a part of the moving on process. I hope that it'll all work for you. Have a nice moving on time!
Anonymous
on
Oct 16, 2020
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Personally from my experience when i was really in love with some guy it took me a while to move on from him because every thing reminded me of him...so three years passed and i was still occasionally thinking about him but after i saw him the feeling of excitement and nervousness just wasn’t there anymore. I felt nothing standing in front of him. I could normally ask him about his relationship with his new girlfriend even though i never pictured myself doing it ever. I think you’ll just know. I still think we spent nice time together and we made a lot of beautiful memories together...i could tell i moved on when i felt more connected to the memories than the actual person standing in front of me. It felt liberating
Anonymous
on
Oct 23, 2020
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I have really moved on when I am able to live my life without constantly thinking about the event. It's okay if it crosses my mind or I think about what I learned, but constantly thinking about it is unhealthy. It depends on what the event is, but for embarrassing moments that do not seem to leave you, once you stop forcing yourself to be cautious all the time, you have moved on. It is also important to never force yourself to move on, and just let time do its thing but also try to figure things out. Those are my experiences.
talkswithariba
on
Oct 29, 2020
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It's confusing at first. although time can help people move on, but they or the thing does alway remain in your memory. And when that pops up, you're unsure whether you've really moved on or not. So instead of that, consider whether you're more focused on them/it or you're more focused on your, lets say, future? Do you think about them all the time or have you started thinking about other things? Moving on is a long process, we need to be patient with ourselves. I hope that was helpful. Take care, and try indulging yourself in a lot of activities.
Anonymous
on
Nov 19, 2020
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When your thoughts stop being occupied completely by them and you can have no problem getting rid of things that hold on to memories. The memories will always be a part of you and make you who you are, but when there aren't any emotions attached to the memories, is when you've moved on. And when you can create new memories with someone else is also a sign that things have moved on. It's a process and it won't happen over night, it can take months or years. But slowly becoming less attached to the memories can help :)
CaseyOra
on
Dec 4, 2020
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For me, it’s when I no longer felt attached to the person. When I didn’t want to check their social media and when my thoughts quit going to them. It helps to get over someone by finding yourself. Diving deeper into your hobbies and interests. Persona development and learning ways of not being codependent. For some of my past relationships I will always have feelings or care for them but I am okay with not being with them and even do not want to be with them. But I still care about them as a person and want them to be happy and live their best life.
Anonymous
on
Dec 9, 2020
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You can tell if you really moved on if you can look back and accept that this relationship was a huge part of your life. There may have been love there and there probably always will but you know that the separation was so you could grow as a person. When someone mentions them you don't have that "butterfly" feeling anymore. Their name becomes indifferent to you or a name that brings back those memories for a moment. You no longer linger on what you used to be and move on to find a new love. You don't have to completely ignore their existence or prove to anyone you've moved on. Truthfully, only you know whether you've moved on.
Anonymous
on
Dec 20, 2020
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You can tell you have moved on, when you don't ask yourself this. When you begin to feel at ease with yourself and your past relationship. You are able to reflect back on it and laugh or are reasonable with it. To know you have moved on, is being okay with that person, they don't ignite any strong emotions. You have to be able to let go and look at other people, talk to other people, and find comfort in other people. A little part of you will always be wanting them and that's okay, its all part of moving on.
Anonymous
on
Dec 20, 2020
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When you are able to talk about what happend without feeling hurt. When thinking about what happend no longer has an impact on how you're feeling. You're able to be present in moment and don't spend time ruminating on what happend. You no longer feel the need to evalute it and search for solutions. You no longer feel the feeling of unfinished business. You are able to open your heart again and be vulnerable. To be able to trust again and accept the risk of getting hurt. Everyone's journey to healing and moving on is different, so take what resonates and leave the rest.
Anonymous
on
Jan 4, 2021
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You can tell that you have really moved on when you do not obsess over everything that involves them in your life. When you are not checking their social media profile everyday and seeing who they follow, when you are not checking their location, when you do not get butterflies every time you hear their name- that is when you have moved on. Moving on is an interesting concept to think about, as it can be different for every single person. Just know that it is okay to always have someone living in the back of your head; remember your experiences with them and learn from their or your mistakes.
Anonymous
on
Jan 17, 2021
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You can tell that you have really moved on when your mind stops drifting to them, when you stop worrying about what they think of you, and when you stop thinking of what they've been doing with their time. You also aren't stalking them on social media or asking friends how they have been. Bonus points if the person you were dating/friends with has found someone else and that doesn't bother you. The largest signs you have moved on are that you're content with where you're at without that person with you, and that person no longer occupies your mind all the time.
JoshOfTheHills
on
Jan 29, 2021
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That moment when you're washing dishes or doing laundry or any other chore and the thought comes to you about the thing that has bothered you for so long, and you just grin -- you know that moment? That's the moment where you find that the thing that happened, the thing that held you down for so long, is finally nothing more than a silly moment in the past that isn't worth getting hung up on. You've moved into a place of peace with that thing, accepted it, and hopefully learned from it. For me, that's when I know I've moved on: a goofy grin, a pause at the sink with a dish in my hand, and then I just keep scrubbing.
Anonymous
on
Apr 14, 2021
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When you don't feel anything for them anymore, just a friend/person. You shouldn't worry that much, as you'll find someone else that understands you more. Try talking to people that care about you, they'll understand what you'll going through and help you. So, you can tell if you've moved on by what you feel for them. If you suddenly don't have any big feels for them anymore, you're probably over them. If you're sad about it, you might still like them, and thats normal. Take deep breathes and try to calm down the best you can. Remember, people love you. You matter.
Anonymous
on
May 1, 2021
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When everything stopped reminding me of them. At first everything I did, saw, or heard would bring back a memory or just the thought of him. I would try to convince myself to get him out of my mind and to stop daydreaming about us. One day I heard a song we use to sing together and I didn't immediately associate it with him. After I realized it was our song, it reminded me of him. I realized I had stopped thinking about us and it felt a little sad, since that meant it was really over. It was also a relief because I moved I had moved on.
Anonymous
on
May 5, 2021
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It can feel important for people to delineate when they have moved on from an aspect of their past. At the same time, though, it can be difficult for a person to tell when they have truly closed the book on a chapter of their lives. Perhaps one way a person can assess whether they have really moved on, is to take inventory of how often that aspect of their past crosses their mind in day-to-day life. For instance, if I'm trying to move on from a breakup in a relationship, I might ask myself, "how often does [name of ex] cross my mind?" I might even assess how disruptive it is to my day when I am reminded of that person, or reminded of the breakup itself. The more often you think of that aspect of your past, and the more affected or disrupted you are by the memory or recurrence of that past aspect, the less likely it is that you have truly moved on. Conversely, if you find you do not often think of that aspect of your past, or find it does not cause you distress or discomfort, the more likely it is that you have put it behind you.
JanetAtDrexel
on
May 7, 2021
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Knowing you have moved on is challenging. The life events that we find jarring or traumatic are usually really jarring and traumatic. It takes time for scabs to form and for the wound underneath to heal.
How I have found that I have moved on from traumatic or difficult times is that I have the same empathy for the person that I would for anyone. About 10 years after a difficult friendship disaster, the other person reached out to me with a question about getting help for her autistic son. What I felt for her was the same that I would feel for any mother who was trying to do the best for her child. I didn't feel moved as though this was my sister reaching out to me (the ex-friend and I will never be there) but I didn't feel malice or resentment. I felt what I would if a casual acquaintance had asked me. I had moved on.
How do you know you moved on? With respect to relationships, maybe you are able to treat the other person with the basic care and empathy you would a stranger or casual friend.
Anonymous
on
May 8, 2021
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If I don’t think about the person and try not to get in touch with them. I don’t get attached. I’m fine. I just like helping people by talking to them as much as I can. It’s the least I can do. I try to make them comfortable but that doesn’t meant that I’m attached it just means that I care and I try to care as much as I can it’s what makes me me. I’m trying hard to help people and that makes me feel great and makes me feel important. This is a great platform and I love it
snugglyDog7961
on
May 15, 2021
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Moving on is a subjective topic, some people take a day to move on while others might take several years. But when you have finally moved on, you won't think about your ex in your idle time, you won't imagine yourself with them when a romantic song plays, your life will be more than just chasing that one person. When you feel you are now ready to date, not because you need to make another person jealous or get over them, but you need to find someone who deserves the gem you are, is when you know you have moved on and the feelings for that person are now dead and nothing can make you love him/her again. You might feel happy for their success or love them like a friend does but you won't ever want to be with them as a partner, that is when you know you have moved on.
hailesuwu01
on
Aug 18, 2021
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from personal experience, you can tell you've really moved on when you find yourself thinking less of them, and more of your interests, or someone new. when i went through my worst breakup, i had taken the time to realize how much better off i was with someone new, and then found the one for me. what started as the worst feeling in the world, started getting much better. i had realized the amount of @buse i had taken, and started thinking about how i deserved much better. finally, less than a month later, i had already been able to move on to someone who was much better to me, and more patient with my feelings. take your time moving on, as its not always easy! it's completely valid to spend days, or even years to move on.
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