How can I stop thinking about him/her? Why my heart hurts so much?

It is just normal to think about them, when you have been spending so much time together and sharing a lot, we get attached, there might be so many reason to feel in pain, try to focus on the good things that this relationship brought to you, make a list about the reasons to why the separation take place to begin with, if it wasn’t healthy for you, try to focus on healing your self , do activities that will help you keep you mind busy and makes you feel good, have your family and friends around specially those who actually care and support you, in the process of healing you’ll get to love your self again, gain your self confidence back, and get the balance you need.

You cannot at the beginning. You need to help yourself. Watch videos that will help you understand where you went wrong any kind, philosophical, psychological, how to move on. Whatever works for you to accept the fact that you want to move on because that is what is best for you overlooking the pain. Once you take the conscious decision that you want to move forward, set goals for you. Like take up any activity you have been stalling and complete it. Tell yourself, no I will not think about him whenever you find your wandering. Learn a new skill. Do anything and everything you wanted to do for sometime but didn't. Its the best time to complete incomplete tasks. Its not a linear process. You have to remind yourself every day, that you have already taken the decision.

Let your heart first accept the situation, then only day by day it will become lighter on your heart and you will get better day by day. You will find yourself feeling better and being happier again. The heart only hurts when you hold on too tight or if you try and let go of something you not ready to accept or ready to let go and that can cause you to hurt a lot. So crying it out , speaking more about it to professionals or a close friend or family allows you to be more open to understanding and accepting the situation and also making it better for you to set your heart free from the hurt and open to new happiness.

I have learned that sometimes it is easier to keep busy until you are ready to face that hurt. Work on yourself, distract yourself, just do whatever you can to keep your mind off of it. Then when you are ready to face that hurt you can think of all of the ways that the situation is really good for you. I know how hard that is, but if you focus on the good in the situation, you will slowly come to terms with what is happening and you will be better able to move on. Also remember to be patient with yourself and accepting of your feelings.

i feel you, like really feel you in this one and i know exactly how it hurts. i was the same with my ex and i mean like a wound it can be re-opened and when he use to pull other girls it use to be like throwing salt in it. time only heals you,like nature does to a wound, time is our nature and thats all you need. you need to cry it out and you need time to realise that he's gone. its going to be hard and its never going to be any easier when you see him with someone else or not with you because he isn’t with you. but knowing you aren’t alone helps! many people go through this and all my advice is, the only way you’ll ever go on is to carry on. you need to act like you don’t care, you need nights out with your friends, you need space at times to be left alone, you need to have a good laugh and do everything you use to do with him, by yourself so then you get to it being just you. its not horrible but once you accept he's out of the picture and carry on like he's out of the picture you’ll soon forget everything. every now and then i always think back like “what if?” but then i think why do i hurt myself when he's out there not giving a care in the world. why would i torture myself for someone who couldn’t think twice about me? why would i let him stop me from being myself? its wrong and you aren’t alone! i hope this really helps! :) Smile and the world smiles with you!

I removed all things that reminded me of them from my view. All pictures went in a box, I didn’t check their social media, and I put away their letters. I surrounded myself with family and friends who didn’t know the half of it and I was happier with them. It takes time, but eventually you grow past them. Progress takes time and you won’t stop thinking about them overnight because they were a major part of your life at one point. They were a part of your routine, but now they are not. So, you will run into moments where you forget that they aren’t there anymore and that’s okay. Eventually, you will have a new routine.

It may be because you see them every day or have constant reminders of them. There can also be unresolved issues. Closure can simply be the answer to that. Even if you never had a relationship with that person. You had a connection with that person and it may only be on your end. Simply cutting can help or talk it out depending on how things were left between you and that person. If it was a friendship, those are harder to let go of than a romantic relationship. That is because that person was there for you and those connections can be stronger than a romantic one.

When you think about this person you think about all the good times, often the honeymoon phases of a relationship, you do not remember the memories you don’t want to replay such as negative emotions, anxiety and rough times within the relationship. When you come to terms with what is making you miss them, maybe a trigger, similar environment or still being in some form of contact, perhaps a same friend group. You can remove those triggers from your daily life, I'd like to encourage some journaling work about the relationship and negative situations within it and how you have grown without them.

You must have had so many memories together, good and bad. Whatever it is, you've learned so much from it. Letting go of someone you loved is not easy, and whoever is telling you to just get over them, definitely don't know what it's like. But does that mean it's not possible to feel happy again? It is possible, but it will take time, so do not worry if you are feeling this way right now, it is not abnormal. You are where you are supposed to be, and you have a looooong journey ahead of you. Remember there's always people that loves you, even though sometimes it all seems dark and we feel like there's nobody. Love is there constant. Pray that she/he is doing well in their life. And look after yourself. After every pain, comes ease, and in the future you'll tell yourself how this experience made you more stronger and patient as a person. Everything will make sense and you will thank yourself for looking after you. You will realize how resilient of a person you were all along. Infact, the reason you're reading this right now, already proves how amazing you are, ready to help yourself out of this! You will get there I promise ❤️