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How can I move on from a breakup if I was certain he was the one?

Profile: kindheartedSoul46
kindheartedSoul46 on Dec 8, 2014
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When a person says that someone is the one for them, i believe they have reached such a point of loving that person that all they'd actually want is their happiness and all they would want is for that person to have a smile on their face. If breaking up with you would make them happy or if that is what would make the most sense to them then know that letting go of them is the biggest, bravest and the most selfless act of love you could ever do. Taking that into consideration you can tell yourself that 'alright, i know he/she is the one, but if parting ways with me makes him/her happy, then i would respect that and let go because all i want is for him/her to be happy'. There is a saying, 'If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.' So if the one you love truly loves you back then he/she is bound to realise this and come back to you and if they don't then know that it is for the best and that even though it hurts like hell right now things WILL get better. Time truly does heal, let time do it's work.
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Profile: KaytheBirdd
KaytheBirdd on Nov 30, 2014
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Sometimes it can be hard to accept a new reality, when we'd become so comfortable in a previous one. A roadblock may form: "He was the one". That thought becomes the primary. It makes the future a muddle, and the present something you have to struggle to get on with. That's no way to live. There are a lot of good ways to get over a break up, that don't include surrounding yourself with a pain you don't deserve. Understand that there are near 7 billion people in the world. This must sound cliche, and perhaps a bit insensitive; but there /are/ other fish in the sea. Not only that, but there are jellyfish and starfish, sharks and dolphins - all types of aquatic life. Meaning you don't have to accept this break up as the end of your love life. Just try to visualize yourself romantically happy again. Even if you don't believe it yet, slowly, it'll help you broaden your horizon. Second, try to give yourself a break. It helps not to be surrounded by triggers that get you feeling negatively nostalgic, since hurtful memories are the last thing you need to be able to move on again. Don't go ripping through your photos and trashing old memoirs yet, but instead, surround yourself with symbols of a fresh start. That can mean doing something as simple as going shopping, starting some new innovative project, joining some new fandom or club, even discovering a new part of town during a slow-paced car ride. This can help you start that new chapter in your life feeling fresh. It's okay to be upset, and to struggle to move on. That feeling of sorrow gloominess is an essential part of moving on, as long as you don't let it take you over. A good way to make sure you're kept safe, is to surround yourself with loved ones; friends, family, pets even? Remind yourself that you're not alone in this. Motivation is a big push forward. Sometimes relating with people who've been in your shoes, or have been in your shoes, helps you envision a successful moving-on. That's what makes this website - and the entire internet really - so great. Don't hesitate to check out forums like the one we have here on 7 cups, and browse the internet for stories like yours. Your experiences with this relationship will make you stronger, and will help your love life in the future prosper. I wish you the best of luck.
Profile: SashaSue
SashaSue on Dec 27, 2014
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Break ups are really just the worst. They're hard to cope no matter how they happen. When you really thought you were building a future with someone, you're having to let go of both the person you love, and the future you'd been picturing for the two of you. And that's just hard, and painful, and scary, there's no getting around it. But there are things you can do to make it a little easier. When my 7 year relationship ended, the first think I had to do was really believe it would get better, that I wouldn't feel that horrible forever. And eventually it did. Part of it is just waiting the pain out. While you're doing that, it's important not to isolate yourself. Come here to talk, talk to friends or family members, whoever helps you to feel safe and supported. For me, it also helps a lot to stay busy, because I can really just fall into a deep dark hole of heartbreak if I let myself. Even if you don't want to, making plans with friends, going for walks, spending time with family, really focussing on school or work. Whatever helps to remind you there's a lot more to you and your life than this relationship and its ending. Every situation is different, but often it's a good idea not to talk to the guy, at least for a while. Some distance is really important for healing. And fwiw, I really don't believe there's any such thing as, "the one." I think there are a lot of people who could wind up being your one though. Don't try to rush right into a new relationship though, rebounds rarely work out, and ultimately leave you with two break ups to process in the end. Most importantly, be kind to yourself. And know there are people who love you now, and more who will in the future.
Profile: LoverOfHappiness
LoverOfHappiness on Feb 8, 2016
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If you are certain that he was the one, do you. Work on yourself. Find out who you are do things for you again. And you never know you may rediscover that he actually wasn't the one.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Dec 1, 2014
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Find someone who will love you for you. If you thought he was the one, then that means you are desperate for love. I know that sounds harsh but it is the truth.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Jun 22, 2015
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If he was the one you would still be with him sweetheart! Everything happens for a reason. I'm not saying the love wasn't real, I am just saying maybe it wasn't what is best for you. Think positively! Everything will be okay.
Profile: smileforawhile
smileforawhile on Nov 30, 2014
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"If it's meant to be it will be" Talk to him about it, tell him how you feel. Maybe you just need a break. But at the end of the day, what happened, happened. If you can't change the situation, then I guess you have to accept and move forward. Just because you're not together at the moment doesn't mean you will never end up together.
Profile: Anonymous
Anonymous on Nov 16, 2015
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If he was meant to be, he'd be in your life. It's hard moving on from relationships, and it feels like a part of you is missing. And that's okay, that's normal. A part of you is missing, the part that now belongs to him. But- you also learned new things in that relationship. You learned how to love, and how to be loved. And that is now yours.
Profile: PerfectlyImperfect11
PerfectlyImperfect11 on May 9, 2015
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For me, I've experience this with my first love. How did I move on? I think somehow you can never truly move on to someone especially when you have given them something that is not disposable -your heart. They will always have a place in your heart no matter what. But after a break up, you will feellike the lowest creature in the world and thats okay. Give it sometime. Cry, shout, burn things, and cry some more. Just let it all out but never ever tell yourself that its your fault. He lost you not the other way around. So after this phase, eat, groom yourself, but new things, make yourself look pretty, stand up- head and heart strong and be ready to face the world on your own honey. I know, I've been through this. It's unbearably painful but its not impossible to achieve. At the end, you will be stronger and you will be tougher and when the next opportunity of a guy comes a long. You will know if he's worthy of YOU or not.
Profile: FruityHero84
FruityHero84 on Nov 14, 2017
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You must consider that life isn't always straight forward, and that if he is truly the one then he will find his way back to you.
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