Can or should I ask my significant other to stop talking and to not associate with his ex? If so, how?

Thank you for reaching out! With relationships come respect for each other’s boundaries. Asking individuals to compromise is not asking for too much. From personal experience, I personally have been in your situation where I did not want my boyfriend to associate with his ex. It’s really important you explain why you feel uncomfortable exactly with your boyfriend associating with his ex? What deep down are you worried about ? Do you feel his ex was so toxic that you do not want him to get hurt again? Are you feeling like they have so much chemistry together that it worries you they may get back together? What are your thoughts on speaking with your boyfriend and explaining this through ? If there is hesitancy to ask your boyfriend their equation with their ex and what makes you uncomfortable, ask yourself why that is? Know what your boundaries are and how you address them within your relationship. Trust your intuition and if your gut feeling is telling you something is not right don’t be afraid to question. You may be experiencing mixed feelings. You may ask does me asking my boyfriend/girlfriend about me feeling uncomfortable with his equation with ex pushy and bossy which is what may hold you back from questioning significant other. Another important question to ask yourself is if you are super friendly with any of your ex’s and how your boyfriend feels about that if applicable? Any communication to address any concerns should be done in a way that is carefully thought through. Try not to react too emotionally towards what makes you uncomfortable and take your time with what you want to say. Do not assume they can read your mind just like you cannot read your significant others mind if they don’t share with you. Thank you for reaching out! Trust your intuition and do not rush into decisions without careful thought. You are welcome to communicate with any one of our listeners on our site to further explore your thoughts. There is also Relationship Support room you are welcome to visit 24/7 every Thursday to communicate with members going through relationship issues too.

I think it depends on the situation. If your significant others are getting too close or communicating too intensely with his ex, it might be better to ask him if you don't feel comfortable with that. The same thing applies to any other situation that makes you bothered. Try to be as assertive as possible when you talk to your significant other and not be offensive or blame him so he wouldn't get defensive or dismissive when you tell him how you feel about it. Give him a chance to explain the situation from his side. Try to understand his situation and make sure he knows that. But tell him why it concerns you. If he deems your relationship important, he will take your concern into consideration. Don't force him to do it instantly. Give him time. But make sure he's committed to putting you and your relationship first.

Just explain that it makes you feel uncomfortable and it upsets you if they truly love you they will understand

I think you should let him know how you're feeling, but at the same time you need to trust him, trust that shes his ex for a reason, hes with you now

Just tell them that it makes you uncomfortable for them to be talking to their ex and that you don't want them to do it.

I think it highly depends on their relationship. I am still friends with some of my exes and would let that stop. If you feel like there is more than friendship happening, you should bring it up and talk about what is happening and why it makes you feel uncomfortable. Just prohibiting something does not make the problem go away

If this bothers you or make you feel bad you should just be honest with your significant other. Of course its not like you can forbid them to interact or talk about their ex but you can ask for it and make clear how this feels for you.

If it makes you uncomfortable he's still talking to her, talk to him about it without telling him to terminate it, leave it up to him or else he'd get defensive.

In my experience, that's something that will happen naturally with time. It's super hard to be patient and wait, but for me, that was what ultimately worked. How long to wait before saying something? I honestly thing that depends on how long they were together. The longer they were, the longer it might take for them to get that distance. If they have children together, they will always talk, and that's just something you will have to get used to. Good luck! Stay strong.

Well you should tell him that he has to left that in the past, maybe he has not got over it yet and needs help