After an unhealthy relationship ends, how do you remember what healthy ones are meant to even be like?

Learn from the mistakes that was made in the previous relationship and look for a relationship that does not have all those things that was done in the previous ones thats a start. If you are happy in the relationship that you are having and you are moving forward thats a really good relationship,

I think a healthy relationship is the one where you feel comfortable, understood, loved, and respected

If you can tell something was unhealthy, you surely have a sense of what healthy looks like. To clear your mind a little bit, you can make a list of the unhealthy factors and all the other things that were bothering you in the relationship, like for example: partner was overcontrolling - and write the opposite of it: I need a partner who will support my individuality and trust me, the list goes on...

By learning how to trust yourself. Without this very basic but essential quality, we rob ourselves of the joys that life has to offer.

From what I've experienced in my past relationships, I didn't have very many healthy relationships with my partners. It was hard to begin new relationships because I was expecting the worst or was never exposed to a "healthy" relationship. However, parts of each relationship had their healthy moments and I was drawn to finding those small parts in a new relationship. A lot of what I can tell you is that it feels "right" when you are in a healthy relationship, that you feel as if your needs are being met and you have the ability to speak your mind if they are not. It should feel easy, without friction. When healthy parts of a relationship show themselves to you, you will know that they are healthy because they feel comforting and caring. If there is constant friction, it may not be a place you want to stay in.

An unhealthy relationship leaves you with hard, messy questions to deal with in the aftermath. "Did I deserve to be treated that way? Is it my fault they cheated? Did I deserve those insults? Am I even capable of being a part of a healthy relationship?" It can quickly become a slippery slope to self-blame, low self-esteem, and maybe even losing hope that you can bear to have another relationship again. Is it possible to resolve what you've just endured without becoming permanently bitter and broken? I can only offer what I learned while navigating these crossroads. 1 - Taking responsibility for the part you played in the negative dynamic can be empowering. Knowing how you could have reacted more effectively is knowledge that can guide you to safer havens in the future. 2 - Taking responsibility for your parts also means refusing to take responsibility for parts that were not your fault. Mistreating another person was their personal choice. 3 - Seek opportunities to heal. Healing can come in many forms, as quiet as dedicating one's self to solitude and meditation and as wild as having crazy nights out letting loose with friends. Dare yourself to do anything you need to do to get the healing you need. Sometimes, there was never an example of a healthy relationship in our past to look back to. But there are an abundance of way of learning (or relearning) what a future healthy relationship can look like to explore.