What does being bipolar feel like?

It feels like this feeling of instability that you cope with for the rest of your life. It's feeling on top of the world and then crashing with no parachute. I try to appreciate the good aspects; my creative mind, my ability to feel empathy, my intelligence, and the fact that I can help others who feel its debilitating at times. The days when you are in the depressive phase of your cycle are the darkest and you never know how long it will last. It can be scary and cause other emotions like anxiety or stress from feeling like you can't please anyone or even do your job, be a parent, or finish the simplest tasks. It is a process and an ongoing education of knowing triggers, patters in when you cycle, and having self-awareness while being brave enough to seek help with you need it.

I have bipolar 1, and it feels like I have uncontrollable emotions at completely random, but triggered times. Sometimes I’m so elated I’m irresponsible, and others I’m so depressed it feels like nothing will ever be okay. These emotions can happen at anytime of my day, on any day. Bipolar makes me who I am, but It is not the only piece of me. You may see cartoons that represent bipolar with a mood swing that moves rapidly between highs and lows, but it’s more like a Merry-go-round of emotions that stops and goes occasionally, but never rapidly swings. I can be depressive for weeks or manic for weeks. But I rarely switch from high to low immediately! Although it does happen.

It feels normal until it suddenly doesn't. Bipolar is unique in that it's really a combination of feelings that happen in a cycle. I'm someone that's far more at home with cycling manic, until it gets out of hand. I like to think of it like I'm water tubing on a lake. Sometimes, you have to lean into the wake so you don't get knocked off. I find that when I'm manic it's easier to lean into and just let myself feel. I feel elevated, like I need to go run for 5 miles just get my head back in order. Sometimes I feel restless, like my spirit is too big for my body and I'm bursting out. It can be scary! When I'm swinging down, I struggle with memory loss and general apathy. I don't become depressed per say but I feel like a massive weight is on my chest, holding me down and stopping me from ever catching my breath.

In the manic phase of bipolar disorder, it's common to experience feelings of heightened energy, creativity, and euphoria. If you're experiencing a manic episode, you may talk a mile a minute, sleep very little, and be hyperactive. You may also feel like you're all-powerful, invincible, or destined for greatness. Bipolar disorder is included in the Social Security Listings of Impairments, which means that if your illness has been diagnosed by a qualified medical practitioner and is severe enough to keep you from working, you are eligible to receive disability benefits. n summary, these data provide evidence that, in adult bipolar illness, depressive symptoms become more persistent over decades in younger adults while manic and hypomanic symptoms do not.

For me, being bipolar feels like a bungee cord. One minute you're having a great time, full of adrenaline, weightless, and on top of the world- and the next, you're plunging at the speed of light and hoping the cord doesn't snap on the way down. The feeling of the depressive half is so bad for me. I'm bipolar 1 with psychotic features, and I handle my mania really well- however, when it comes time to be depressed, it is so overwhelming that it physically hurts, it feels like my body is on fire, and it is hard so to do anything in that misery, even just move. Other symptoms I struggle with are the paranoia and delusions when manic, the sleep cycle changes, and the absolute loudness of my brain. After taking medicine, I realized my internal thoughts were so loud they affected my processing ability- for example, I didn't know the clock on my wall audibly tick-tocked. But to be honest- The hardest part is the isolation you feel, in a world where not many people feel emotions as strongly as you do, it is hard for them to empathise with how it feels to be in the middle of it constantly. I wouldn't say medicine would fix everyone, but what I realize is that my support system is great until my emotions veer too strongly one way or another- it didn't help me cope better, but it helped my support system empathise more. So when I'm in a crisis, and I'm back into that realm of "too far gone", it's still as bad as ever. It can feed into my paranoia and delusions that people don't really care for me at all, when I realize not everyone has the scope or experience to help people with my illness. It is still very isolating feeling, though, and somewhat aimless, like pushing a boulder up a hill to have it roll back on me again.

That depends as there are different kinds of bipolar disorder. But the main symptoms have to do with rapid changes in moods. People with Bipolar disorders are usually quick to go from happy to sad or mad at any moment and there aren't always triggers. People with Bipolar disorders might also have periods of time where they haven't grandiose thoughts and heightened motivation or excitement and then fall into states of depression and laziness following. They can go weeks being completely positive and then out of nowhere they seem like a changed person. They also might have a "short fuse" and anger or sadden easily without notice of any triggers.

Being bipolar feels like you are 100% helpless. For me, it is like having no control over my thoughts, emotions, and feelings. It is more than just a rollercoaster of emotions since, we as humans, all experience many emotions in a day. The highs can be life altering dangerous. And the downs, is just... horrible. In disphoric episodes, I can just lose it instantly. No regard for people or materials. No thinking of the consequences. Being bipolar is a struggle that I face everyday. And everyday, I have to try my hardest to be normal knowing I will never truly be.

According to the website mentalhealth.org "People with bipolar experience episodes of severe depression, mania, overwhelming joy, excitement, reduced sleep, and reduced ambition. The experience of bipolar is uniquely personal. No two people share the same experience." According to some persons, it can be a confusing condition. People with bipolar may be reluctant to share how they are feeling. One example of what bipolar feels like is talking so much that no one can get a word in one minute or speak so fast it is incomprehensible. Individuals may enjoy the mania because that is when they experience the most energy to achieve their goals.

Contrary to popular belief, bipolar disorder is more than just mood swings. Bipolar is a mood disorder that includes highs and lows that can last for days, weeks, or even months. Highs are referred to as "mania" and lows are referred to as "depression." There are 2 types of bipolar- simply referred to as bipolar 1 & 2. Bipolar 1 is what people typically think of, as it features episodes of mania, and usually depression. Bipolar 2 experiences more depressive episodes, and hypomania, which is basically a "less high" mania. People with bipolar disorder do not need to be constantly fluctuating between these states to be considered bipolar. In fact, there are many people who only have a manic or depressive episode once a year and stay emotionally stable, or baseline, for the rest of the year. Speak with your doctor if you are experiencing any emotional highs or lows, as these could be a sign of several mood disorders.

It feels like you are not you. It feels like this illness takes on a whole new version of the person you are. You think, feel and act differently. The deep dark depression feels never ending, like you’re constantly bobbing up and down below the surface of life. The colours and sounds don’t feel real and life never feels like it will change and that darkness and the torturing pain from the intense sad emotions, is what your life will always be. The hypomania feels so much more positive, life feels doable and that intense sadness becomes intense euphoria. You know you’re on top of the world. You believe you can do anything because you’re so worthy and important. You deserve the best of everything and everything will fall into place for you. But then, when those little thoughts of coming down start creeping in, the come down becomes visible and you know you’re going way further down the rabbit hole than your previous comedown. The inbetween stage feels like a strange grey area, where you are more aware. You come to terms with your reality. Your meds, Side effects, Relationships, Your job, Finances. It’s a mess but you won’t do anything about it because before you know it, the cycle begins again. Each time getting a little bit worse. You feel so alone and so different to everything and everyone.