What does being bipolar feel like?

Being bipolar feels like the lowest of the lows and the highest of the highs. For every person it's different, but for me at least it's like being in a state of change that remains pretty constant. When I'm depressed I stay depressed for a long time, months even. It doesn't get better for anything and the only way to get through it is to push and wait it out. When I get manic, it's not for as long but boy oh boy it's destructive. I ruin everything I touch when I'm manic, it feels like. I'm at the top of my game, I have so much energy, I have the motivation to do everything. I feel like I'm invincible and nothing is going to stop me, except for me. I stop making sense after a while, I start getting more and more delusional and my hallucinations get worse. It's not a nice feeling once everything starts going south.

Being bipolar has not always been easy. It’s like for one second I am doing algebra then I am thinking about what will I eat. It’s like all of my emotions are heightened. It has its pros and cons. When you are happy you are on cloud nine but when you are sad you feel like you can’t breathe when everyone else can. The attacks are the worst part. In my worst one I cut my hair and dyed it but how you deal with it is indeed your choice. For example it was my choice to make bipolar my strength not my weakness!

Originally, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder back in 2008 and it was very hard for me to adjust to the fact that I needed medication. Bipolar Disorder, for me, is a feeling of deep pain in my gut. A deep depression for weeks on end that didn't seem like it would ever let up, followed by a week or so of being so extremely peaked that I am talkative and ramble. Sometimes my head goes so fast I would get anxious and agitated. I also go through periods of extreme anger. Seeing as I am now diagnosed with Schizo-affective disorder due to paranoia and hallucinations on top of mood swings, I still suffer quite a bit from the effects of cycling moods, but am on medication that really helps me. A lot of times I don't feel like I need or like the medication, like I don't need counseling, but then I have a really bad few weeks and I know I definitely do. It may be hard to live with a mood disorder like Bipolar, but it is manageable and there is hope so never give up!

It is like being on a roller coaster- one minute you are up soaring the skies with the wind in your hair and life pulsing through your being, and the next minute you are down in the very pits of hell, staring into a bottomless abyss. The switch between happy and depressed is unpredictable. Sometimes the high's last weeks and the low's last a few minutes, sometimes it is the other way around. The kicker is that it mostly feels like what's happening inside is so removed from what is happening in real life. There is no causation. Strap yourself in and just ride it through.

Being bi polar feels wonderful and heartbreaking. It's strange that I say that right? Let me explain. The issue with bi polar disorder comes from the fact that we feel a certain emotion too much. Bi polar episodes are categorized by mania and severe depression episodes. One minute you are completely fine. You are so happy and joyful and you feel like you can do anything... You feel so powerful! Then the next minute comes and you're crying... a lot! It hurts even more when we get depressed because just a second ago, everything was great. We feel TOO much. We don't just experience happiness, we experience an overwhelming sense of joy and the same goes for depression. A person without bi polar disorder will feel a little sad but someone with bi polar disorder we feel absolute despair and we have no idea why. Being bi polar is like being on a never ending roller coaster. The ups and downs can get so exhausting but I am here to tell you now, I am proof that we can get better. I am proof and so many other people out there are proof that we can fight this disorder! Bi polar disorder sucks and it so awesome!

Being bipolar is hard, at first. Nobody “gets it”. It is the sensation of a wood chipper being run with no logs. There is an appetite for “content”, but none to feed through, so my mind just gobbles itself up, instead. I love college work. I love difficult learning . Mostly, because it occupies the wood chipper so I can use valuable time and energy to enjoy the day and my relationships. It’s a battle, but most things are. It involves lots of creativity, which I dig, so that part is kind of fun. Directing it all can be a challenge, but that’s half the fun.

Being bipolar means one minute you can be happy and healthy and in a good spot and then all of the sudden everything just flips. You could have thoughts of starting over or moving or something spontaneous that normally wouldn't happen. Being Bipolar is a hard thing to deal with because it often means you are stable mentally or emotionally. Bipolar is a disorder where one day your happy and the next you feel down and depressed and cant get out of bed. It is something that can normally be helped with a licensed therapist or a psychiatrist!

It feels like one week, you don't need to sleep or eat, you do everything that crosses your mind for even a second, you can do anything. You're on top of the world, nothing can take you down. You don't need reasons to do things, you just do them. Full steam ahead. You are amazing. You are phenomenal. Then the next week, you could not be more depressed. Life hasn't changed between those two weeks, but you have. You feel like a different person. You are worthless, you cannot accomplish anything, you barely have the energy to get out of bed. Having bipolar disorder is like having two different faces that just cover who you really are without your consent. There's you, and there's the song that takes over you. It can be the siren song of triumph, or the swan song of despair. And you're never, ever in control, even when you feel like you are. Every once in a while you have moments where you feel like yourself, and those are precious. It's so hard to figure out who you really are. But in the end, you have to work hard and heal and get help and eventually, if you're lucky, you find yourself.

bipolar is being in a state of oppiste moods and descions. bipolar is being in a state of oppiste moods and descions. bipolar is being in a state of oppiste moods and descions. bipolar is being in a state of oppiste moods and descions. bipolar is being in a state of oppiste moods and descions. bipolar is being in a state of oppiste moods and descions. bipolar is being in a state of oppiste moods and descions. bipolar is being in a state of oppiste moods and descions. bipolar is being in a state of oppiste moods and descions. bipolar is being in a state of oppiste moods and descions.

It feels like one day or moment you’re on cloud nine and the next you’re in the deepest crevice of the earth. you can feel the happiest and all of a sudden it’s just gone, and you’ll experience feeling hyper and then have a major mood crash, and it genuinely sucks. you can want to run a marathon, but then the next second want to cry and shrivel up into a ball. it gets tiring having a roller coaster of emotions, but as soon as the feelings become manageable, it will in fact get so much better. i promise.