Why is it that every time someone does/says something positive toward me, I fear that they have ulterior motives?

if you feel like someone says something positive toward you and don't believe in what they are saying or they have ulterior motives in your mind maybe you don't have a full understanding of that person or persons. i don't know but they could give off vibes that are negative even though they are saying something nice to you. to get past that uneasy feeling you may inquire more information from the person. asking a question to get more understanding of where they are coming from. you may be suffering from a mental condition if it keeps happening every time. it is difficult to make friends if you think there is an ulterior motive involved. you are not alone.

I find myself doing this exact thing whenever my self-esteem is particularly low. I ask myself, "why would they possibly want to do something nice for me?", or "do they actually mean that compliment or do they think the opposite?" In these cases, I try to work on my self-esteem, first by trying to challenge my thoughts. Instead of thinking "what if they're doing ____ for me because they're just putting up with me?", I try to think, "what if they're doing ____ for me because they genuinely care about me and I am worthy of their care and attention?". It's easy to fall into the trap of doubt, especially when you're not at peace with yourself. In these times, trying to find peace with yourself, reminding yourself that you're worthy of all that positivity that is shown to you, and trusting others to be good to you have been key, at least for me.

This is most likely to do with your past experiences in life. We learn to react to things in many different ways based on our past and if you find yourself looking for threats and are unable to find any, you'll often fabricate them into existence because you wish to avoid the same pain that you had experienced in the past.

Distrust is something that people learn socially. Either through experience or what others have said, we often learn to be wary of kind things because we don't want to get hurt, so we assume the worst of people.

Perhaps it would be helpful to look at past relationships. Have there been times when people have made you feel that they were using you in some way? You can also ask yourself why you don't believe someone would have something positive to say about you. More than likely you're a wonderful human being!

You are probably not happy with yourself, so you question everything that people say about you that is positive. This can stem from depression or anxiety. The best treatment is to start to work on yourself and your thought process, so you can become happy with yourself. It will help you see that compliments are just what they are, compliments.

So many times our negative thoughts get turned inward; So, you may be fearing jealous motives from everyone because you are still struggling with them yourself. Try sending everyone you meet LOVE, first and see how that effects the flow of energy!?!

Maybe your past experiences involved being let down after a compliment so it is your natural instinct to fear them.

Your brain may have correlated a pattern such as: positive feedback equals they hate me. This can happen a couple of ways: If you have a history of mistrust or emotional abuse, your brain have made an emotional map that points at this feeling of mistrust every time a similar situation arises Your past does not define your future. Similarly, if you have very low self-esteem and do not think you are deserving of these compliments, you may be mistrustful. You are more than what other people think of you, even if they are complimenting you. You have to be your own best-friend first.

This comes down to a lack of trust and love for yourself. I have never been good at accepting compliments, for example, because I have such high standards for myself. Regardless of how well I may do something, I almost always believe I could've done it better, therefore how true could their compliments be? It is an act of humbling to accept compliments. And it is an act of vulnerability and being okay with being vulnerable to trust anyone at all, let alone when they are nice to you. Perhaps you have been wronged in the past that would cause you to have this fear, but vulnerability, though never easy, is ever so necessary and worth it. I encourage you to watch a TEDxTalk called "The Power of Vulnerability." It changed my life.