Why do I always fail even when I try my hardest?

mhmm...I guess when I try, and especially when I try my hardest, it must be something that's really worth doing - otherwise why do I try so hard? It must be something that is really hard for me that I try my hardest...and of course if it's really hard, then there is a greater chance to fail. I feel this is the case for me in social interactions, where I had a lot of struggles, but have been improving greatly. It can still be really challenging when I have to speak in front of others unprepared in school, discussions, or events. In these cases, I feel like I've tried really hard but still fails, as in making mistakes in speaking or being kind of awkward... which would make me feel quite rejected. Also, the feeling of being rejected is really strong - and it would make an impression on me. So when I look back, I remember a lot of instances where this occurred. More generally, failure always hurts and we remember a lot of instances of trying really hard and failing.

It can be due to many reasons. Is your knowledge of the topic enough for you to be successfull in it? If not, you can consider working on improving your knowledge. Also some mental health issues can cause that you fail even when you try your hardest. ADHD for example makes person hard to focus on tasks and such they can fail despite they try their hardest. Also people with intellectual disability can fail even when they try their hardest as they can have their own struggles. People with learning disabilities such as dyslexia can fail in some situations where accomodations aren't possible or aren't allowed. Also some physical disabilities or illnesses can cause that you will always fail even when you will try your hardest. If you are completely deaf for example, you will fail understanding a voice mail even though you try your hardest.

Thank you for reaching out! I can really hear you feel disappointed and disheartened when you put in your best effort and that consistently leads to the outcome of failure. Failing at something is one of those things that can be difficult to accept. With failing at things we can be encouraged to learn more and try again, rethinking our strategy. Reflection is key to answering your own question. What is essential for your view of failure and how do you interpret failure? Failures can be linked to knowledge. Knowledge has no limit. Take your failure as new knowledge you have acquired. What emotions do you feel when you are unsuccessful at accomplishing something? You may also want to reflect on a time when you did not meet or fulfill a requirement and how you bounced back. Was there any technique that worked better when studying for an exam? Do you understand why you failed? With failure comes a drive to be a better version of yourself although you have consistently tried your best. You are welcome to communicate with one of our listeners on our site or one of our therapists for further support. This is a safe and supportive environment to open up.

Because you're not perfect. Nobody is. Sometimes you try as hard as you can but all you're doing is pushing against a mountain of issues and you feel like your effort is futile and you can't handle it. You have to accept that sometimes you fail EVEN when you try your very hardest. And sometimes you fail when you know you could have done better and didn't try your hardest. In that case you have to be compassionate towards yourself like you'd be to a friend and actually practice self-compassion because you're blaming yourself. People are too dang good at beating themselves over the head repeatedly when they're not perfect because they're not taught self compassion. So acknowledge the failure. Acknowledge you could've done better and then cut yourself some slack and forgive yourself for everything you did and didn't do. But what if it's the scenario where you try your hardest and you fail anyway? You have to know that in life you're not actually entitled to any outcomes, you're only entitled to your actions. Essentially your actions don't give you entitlement for a better or worse outcome. Isn't that funky? It definitely is. When you try your best and you don't succeed, you have to understand that there are some factors that made it so that you couldn't succeed because it wasn't meant to be yours in the first place. What you actually have to do then is stop trying. The reason you get exhausted when pushing against a wall isn't because you're not strong enough, it's because they wall is cemented into the floor and you're trying to do something that's impossible. So let go of trying. You don't have to try pushing against the wall, you can just choose to walk away and stop pushing if something isn't working out and you know you have all you have, it's done and you have to admit and acknowledge that there are some things you can't fix and can't change. The solution to someone giving 20% when you give 60% isn't to start giving 80%, and then when their % decreases to give more, it's to stop giving because it's all one-sided. I hope that all made sense in any way—

not everything can be solved the same way with trying your hardest. sometimes it comes with failure and unsuccessfulness. this still teaches us a great lesson, even though it is a tough one to learn. i understand that not everything can be solved with succeeding, and we learn from our mistakes. we can’t change our mistakes or go back in time to fix things, but we can learn from them. even when we try our hardest, we will still fail. it’s inevitable, and that’s one of the ways we learn in this world. failure is okay, and it’s okay to learn from that.

I think the thing you need to focus on more is your definition of "failing". If you try your hardest every time then you're definately not failing, trying your hardest and giving 100% effort is a success and something you should be proud of. It sounds like you could be putting a lot of pressure on yourself and giving high expectations, and thinking of yourself as failing, is a really harsh way to think of yourself. I guarantee you have so many achievements and things to be really proud of. And if you really aren't meeting your goals but you're putting in all your effort, then its not you thats the problem, its the way you're doing it - ask someone for feedback, or try a new method. You got this!

It may seem like you always fail and, I bet if you tried, you could come up with a list of failed endeavors. But always? Always? Never succeeded once? It can be easy to slip into this mindset when things go wrong. The negatives in life seem to have more impact than the positives. But it is a cognitive distortion - an unrealistic view of your life. As easily as you can make a list of failures, you can make a list of successes. Literally. Write down five positive things that happened in the last week. They don't have to be monumental, just meaningful. Did you support a friend who needed it? Did you make a healthy meal? Start your list with the fact that you reached out for help. Finally, failing means you tried. You were brave. You put yourself out there. Now, it's time to get back up, dust yourself off and try again.

Failure is a natural thing, happens to everyone sometime or the other - but not everyone knows about it. Try to understand what didn't work in your favor - maybe someone else ruined it for you, was the task too hard for anyone to win, or maybe your efforts were not upto the mark. Try to work on what you find out if you can. Sometimes you phone boots with the normal procedure and sometimes it doesn't, this doesn't mean something is wrong with you. Hope you feel better and try again harder than you did now, life is full of challenges and that is what makes it so beautiful.

it may be very bad now. and it seems that it won't change. but know, sooner or later, everything will be fine. please live happily) life is not eternally gray and without negativity happiness will never be conceived, just as without night, morning will never come. So any difficulty is just something that will allow us to become stronger and experience beauty even more clearly. Never lose hope and faith in the best, because after the blackest night there is always a bright day and even after the strongest downpour the sun shines brightly.

You are the one who decides if you “fail” if you do your best and give it your all, you never truly fail. We all feel like we have failed in certain areas of our life… But it is our mentality that decides if we succeed or fail. I know it’s easy to think we’ve “failed” when that’s all we are focused on. But even though it’s so commonly said we really do have to think more positive about any situation that goes on. If we can’t control it why obsess over the idea if it? Life has many obstacles in life and sometimes we have to able to think open mindly.