Why can't I just simply relax? Why can't i just simply take a deep breath and say to myself "there's nothing to worry about"?

Being anxious is a huge part of my life. What helps a lot is finding things that calm one down, little things. For me tea helps, or having some physical feeling, like spiky plastic balls. It's important to not let the panic take control, even though it may be hard.

I am one of the old non mental health professionals out here, being 46 and a continual work in progress. My main issue that can be triggered is severe anxiety. I have had decades to analyze my issues and have come to the following conclusion. My trigger is I must be able to either control a situation or trust 100% the person that is controlling the situation. If neither of those two issues are confirmed, I will be a wreck. I used to worry horribly about stuff out of my control like weather, or if something may or may not happen, but I have long since worked through that part of my anxiety. Blow up my car or house, it's not a problem, but just be honest. But just put me in a situation where someone I know I cannot trust; someone that has lied to me or I know is currently lying to me, and I will be in a really bad way. So I have had opportunities in the past where many other people could move on and I have had to move away simply because the dishonesty and lack of integrity was incredibly unhealthy for me, keeping me awake at night and causing me to panic. That is why, after 5 years, my wife simply had to give up on adopting a teen out of foster care. When the so called professionals that are managing the process lie and neglect their job as easily as they breathe, well, I simply, for my own good, had no other choice. Probably my biggest regret is we never got it done. We gave up having a baby (we easily could have) so we could bring a foster teen into our family.

There is no such thing. You feel insecured because you don't have happiness and security. Work to have happiness (people you love , love you back ) and security ( earn money to buy things when needed) . The worry will fade away automatically.

When you say "Why can't I" you are in a way perclusing the alternative "Of course I can" or " yeah, its worth trying". Our notion of what we can or cannot do is a conversation in our mind . If we are aware of it we can start to listen to ourselves and change the direction of our thinking. U sually the things in life we worry about don't go away. You really don't want them to go away. They are at the core of your engagement with living. What you are realy looking for is away to let go of the burden of thinking about them. A sort of temporary letting go, so you can relax and rejuvenate. Once u accept that, you can compartmentalise your time and attention. Relaxation becomes one phase, and constructive worrying or thinking about issues and choices becomes another phase. Then it becomes easy and natural for you to say, this is the time to relax, Yes of course I can.

everything is on your mind basically so when you say to your self nothing to worry about you should fully believe that nothing worry

Because your stress is real. Your brain senses the trigger as a very real danger, so you can't make it stop reacting to it in such a simple way. It's true that many times we can see that it's not that big an issue, but deep down, something in our psyche is telling all of our alert mechanisms that it IS a big issue, and those mechanisms are responding, creating all the anxiety symptoms. The trick is in convincing your brain that it is safe again, so it can stop sending alert signals all over the place. Breathe deep, focus on something else, take a sip of water, wash your face... Take your time, and in the end you'll relax again.

One word: anxiety. Anxiety is usually irrational and irritating. I have generalized anxiety disorder and feel this way all the time! You just have to learn to cope with the anxiety. Medication and counseling can be a great way to keep anxiety at bay and to be able to relax.

That's happening because you have persuaded yourself that you simply can't do it. I think that you will be able to accomplish what you want if you trully believe that you can do it.

If it were that simple no person would have difficulties with anxiety. Deep breaths can help, but they alone are not enough.

Because you're thinking about it and not actively doing it. You can do this by practicing meditation, which is getting rid of the noise in your head by focusing on your breath. It will clean up your mind and worries so you can relax better or even focus on the things you'd like to.