Why can't I get over her or him?

Having recently dealt with a devastating break up where my fiancé left me after 8 years together I can try to answer this questions from personal experience. For months I could do nothing but obsess about what happened and why it happened and what I could do to regain what once was. I couldn't accept it was over. I blamed myself for everything and idealized them, forgetting every flaw they had. I told myself that I could never find anyone better or even anyone at all. It was only after I realized that I had something to offer and realized that we both made mistakes in the relationship that I could start to move on. I had to stop thinking about what they were feeling or doing and start thinking about myself, actually getting in touch with my feelings and emotions. I made myself make a list of 5 things that were better in my life after the break up. This was hard. If you can't think of 5, think of 3. If you can’t think of 3 think really hard until you have 3, because I can guarantee there are 3 things in your life that have improved or will improve now that you can focus on yourself. You were happy before you met this person and although you may be a different person now, you can be happy without them. Also get rid of everything that reminds you of them and do not, I stress, do not stalk their social media. That will only drive you crazy because you will see the meticulously edited version of how happy they are and how they have already moved on. Don’t do that to yourself. You are better than that and deserve better than them. After all, why do you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?

There could be a few reasons for this, and my answer is based on my own personal experience. 1. You just haven't met anyone else yet. For some of us, we connect well with others often but for others, we don't often find people who catch our eye. It happens in those moments where it feels the least likely or you aren't looking for anything to happen. It happens by chance. 2. You still have hope that the relationship can work out. And there are probably some logical reasons that you do have this hope. It's good to have hope. Just don't let your happiness be dependent on what this person does. Learn to take care of you and be in your own business - because that is the only place that you have any control, anyway. 3. There genuinely is a connection between the two of you, and there is more to be explored in the relationship. 4. You did not receive proper closure when the other person wanted to end the relationship, or you sense that they do not want things to be the same between you but they won't come right out and tell you that. This can keep anyone hanging on and feeling as though things are unfinished. Knowing exactly where exactly the other person stands and how they feel about continuing the relationship romantically or platonically will help. 5. Maybe it's a bit of all of the above! Feelings toward others can be very complex, and this is why practicing mindfulness can help. Writing down feelings or thoughts when they occur, observing them, and learning how to self-soothe and resolve can help a great deal. Whatever the case may be, there is wisdom behind what you're feeling. Be willing to explore it.

Unfortunately, a relationship is hard to view through the same objective lens as a job. With relationships, it’s not just our emotions that gets involved, it’s our egos, our past pain, our childhood traumas, our insecurities, our fears. Everything gets activated and when the bomb detonates, it can take months or years to clear the wreckage. As a result, when a relationship ends it’s not just the other person that’s missing, a lot of pieces of yourself also need to be retrieved. Many people make the mistake of thinking that the reason they’re so sad after a breakup is because they genuinely miss their former partner. This is true to an extent, but it’s far from the whole picture. The pain we feel comes from several sources, and most have nothing to do with the ex himself.

If it was more than 6 months, then it was love. You still have feelings for this person. If they can get over you, then you can get over them. All you need to do is cut all contact with them, block them from your social media, delete your messages, you don't need anything to do with them anymore. Let time do the rest.

Sometimes, people build homes in our hearts and when they leave, they leave small parts of them behind. I think we find ourselves clinging onto memories of the person, and we feel their ghosts, echos of them in places we associate with them. It's hard to let go, and the feelings learn to fade.

once u stop talking to him/her ..not in real ! ..in ur imagination u keep thinking of memories , fantasise things ..keep ur mind busy ...don't look back ..u have a whole life to live ..maybe u'd miss someone is better while u keep ur eyes on a shadow image of ur ex

It's understandable to miss anyone who has left your life, especially if they meant a lot to you. Someone will come along who makes you feel the things they made you felt, or better. Please don't give up.

Sometimes it's the idea of her/him that attracts you to them. Or simply, the memories that are attractive and are unable to be "gotten over" of.

Because you can't control matters of the heart. When we love someone we tend to give that person everything we have. When the relationship ends we as humans, feel a sense of loss and hopelessness. It's almost like grieving. At the moment the pain will be so raw. You just have to take one day at a time. Keep living until you're alive again.

Because something that you thought could be a permeant love was only temporary and you need time to heal because you can't just forget about the memories made and the things you guys did that you don't normally do with other people. they gave you what you wanted and took it away, it hurts and its hard to forget.